Topic: Living on Purpose
Saturday 3:33pm 30Dec06
When I get home from work I don't have anyone to ask me how my day was and all the other questions that people who live together ask each other. I don't have anyone who looks in the fridge and says, "Where's the ginger ale?" just as they spy the green plastic bottle. I don't answer to anyone nor do I have to explain anything that I do.
I had to explain to one of my co workers yesterday, after snapping at him more than once, 'You have to understand, I live alone."
I realize that I have to remind myself of the opposite for other people that they live with other people. I get so impatient with people who ask me a lot of questions. i wonder why they're so nosy. I wonder what purpose it serves to ask questions that could be naturally answered in time. Like if I'm holding my winter coat at 3pm when I normally leave work at 4:30pm chances are that I'm leaving early and instead of asking me the obvious, wait until I put my fucking coat on and I say good bye.
Sometimes I get so sarcastic in my responses to questions. I say stuff like:
"Are you my fucking boss now?"
"If I'm holding my coat clearly I'm leaving early."
"Why don't you try checking the binder to see if there's any new time sheets instead of bugging me about it?"
"I told you yesterday that I'd do it today. When have I ever said I'd do something and then not do it?"
Yeah, pretty bitchy!
I have to remind myself that that's how most people who live together talk to each other. They ask questions and sometimes for answers they already know. For a lot of people it's their way of making contact, to acknowledge another's presence. I have to remember that a lot of people either have nothing to talk about or can't stand the silence when they are with someone else.
I'm not one to ask a whole lot of questions. I realize that most things can be figured out just by observation. Plus some answers aren't that important to know. It's one of the reasons my boss and I get along so well. Neither of us ask a lot of questions and because of it we tend to tell each other a lot more than we tell the others who ask questions all the time. His response to most questions is, "What are you a cop?"
If there's anything I need to focus on in 2007 aside from being nicer and being disciplined, it's to remind myself that not everyone is like me. In fact, most people aren't like me. Not every one walks through life with my kind of lone wolf independence. And if I can learn to tolerate more questions maybe people will learn to ask me fewer questions.
At the very least, I'll stop hurting people's feelings because they are trying to connect with me in the best way they know how.
EY
