What Price, this friendship?
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
11:45am Saturday 3Feb07

Went out for a couple drinks last night with Hy and JoJo. It's Hy's birthday tomorrow. Hy told us about his best friend's boyfriend who doesn't like Hy and treats Hy like a piece of crap at every possible turn. The boyfriend says that Hy lives a messy life. The pot calling the kettle black, of course. Or living in glass houses may be more apt.

I was feeling outraged by the whole situation and kept trying to impress upon him that at some point that energy is detrimental. Of course Hy's focus is on his best friend and maintaining a very important relationship but how long do you maintain something with no signs of reciprocation? When your friend has been single for a long time and then finds the person of his/her dreams and your relationship some how doesn't fit anymore, how long do you try to hold it together?

People that fall in love are so funny. I never did get the people that insist that the only time you can see them is with their significant others. Is true love really about being joined at the hip? And when your significant other doesn't like your best friend or vice versa why couldn't you hang out with your best friend sans significant other?

I had a close girlfriend that finally met her soul match. I went out with the two of them to some bar that he and a bunch of other jazz performers were jamming at. He seemed nice enough but had already rubbed me the wrong way when he said, "The last time I saw you, you had blonde hair, right?"
Ahh no. Don't dye my hair. And my girl friend had so few black girlfriends (I was her only black girlfriend) that it really wasn't like he could confuse me with any one else. Okay, I thought, maybe I was being too harsh.

After he'd finished performing, he came back to our table and announced that friends were going to join us and he was going to separate my GF and I and sit on the empty stool between us.
I thought, "Separate us? What are we in fucking English disrupting the class?"
I said, "Oh no no, she's the only person I know here. There's an empty seat beside her over there. Go sit over there."

Once she was involved with him, there was no seeing her without him and she got that air of pity that I hadn't found a wonderful guy just like hers. How wonderful is a relationship that vastly changes your personality?

Hy is much stronger or more stubborn than I. If I'm not good enough anymore because my friend's significant other deems it then so be it. Obviously we can't love everyone that our friends love but that's the point in balancing our lives isn't it? You don't invite a bunch of people that you know hate each other to a dinner party with the expectation of fun times and you don't let your best friend fall by the wayside simply because you're getting fucked regularly.

But what the heck do I know?

EY