Mood:
brightTopic: WC - Daily Practice
5:13am Saturday 10Feb07
Zelda thinks her morning ritual of running up and down the apartment hallway includes weekends. She's been calling me to go over, open the door and let her out. Zelley, I'm not dressed yet!
I came home unable to fight the need for sleep last night. It had been a frustrating day. I guess the February blahs are hitting because people are creeping out of the woodwork and making definitive plans with me. Or maybe people are finally getting that I can't commit to vague. Pick a date, tell me where you want to meet, call it a day.
I flipped around the channels last night and shook my head over the coverage of Anna Nicole Smith. CNN has the last interview with Larry King or someone. Entertainment Tonight has the last interview that alludes to her not being able to go on after losing her son. 20/20 has a montage. Big fat mama is doing the interview circuit and Anna hasn't been dead 24 hours. Oh yes, and another man has come out of the woodwork to claim that he too could be the father of her daughter, as I predicted. Might as well portray her as a slut now that she can't speak up for herself. Ex-lawyers speak up against her, everyone must throw in their two cents.
It makes me think about characterization and motivation. How must a character behave when she feels like the world is against her? As my mother used to say, if you can't trust your family, who can you trust? I caught a snippet where Anna Nicole said, "all the closest people to me have stabbed me in the back in one way or another."
That actually made me cry. It's just so terribly sad!
How does a character react when she feels like she has no one that she can trust? Does she go into hiding or does she try to find a way to persevere despite them? She'd almost have no choice but to be larger than life.
Fuck, her story comes across to me like the teenage pregnancy misconception. When I was a teenager, I'd heard many a teenage girl say that they were keeping their baby because they were guaranteed that they'd always have someone who loved them. For Anna Nicole, that may have been true. Her son may have truly been the only person that she knew loved her. What does a character do when she loses the one person that she knows loves her?
Of course her death now has to go down in history with all the mixed messages. Mom says it was the drugs. One media outlet says there were no illegal drugs, the other says there were. Her preliminary autopsy confirms that there were no drugs in her system but that will be wiped out by speculations and the so-called knowledge from the estranged. Oh and the Marilyn Monroe angle. Her life wasn't her own so much so that it has to be a copy cat of Marilyn's?
If we can take anything away from Anna Nicole's cautionary tale is that you have to do what you want to do for your self. You have to find your centre, live your dreams, not look back.
And Miss Anna is now with her beloved son. Maybe that's the way it's supposed to be. Maybe that's the only peace she believed she would get. Twin souls, twin hearts. If life is energy as I believe it is, I think that we can create the energy that can cause our own death. And with a broken heart, the transition is easier.
RIP Anna Nicole Smith RIP
EY
