Breathing Fire
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Tuesday 6:27am 21Aug07

Well, I've hit week two of pain in my left side of my body. It started as a kink in my neck and has turned into some kind of crazy pain that had me crying on Saturday like a little girl. Like a little girl!

I went to my doctor on Friday and he suggested that I take my arthritis meds that I never take. They are doing sweet fuck all, except my feet don't hurt. Small mercies.

I nearly snapped off three people's heads with my teeth yesterday, I was so cranky. The boys knew to stay away from my office. I have no patience when I'm focusing all my energy on pain relief.

The worst thing about living alone is that you still have to do shit when you feel like shit. Going out to get cold meds when you have a cold and picking up groceries when the whole left side of your body radiating the kind of pain that I'd liken to war time torture.

Of course I forgot that the elevator in my building was under maintenance and had to walk up the 4 flights of stairs with my knapsack and the groceries I so smartly purchased on my way home. I'm walking down the hall of apartment building and hadn't noticed that my neighbour was walking behind because I'm actually pep talking myself through each step. She says to me in a snarky voice, "You can't wait for me?"

My back would be up if I wasn't in so much fucking pain. I stopped and turned slowly with the fire coming out of my eyes, nose and mouth and in my harshest, meanest voice I said, "I didn't see you. I'm in physical pain, I've had a hard fucking day at work and now I have to walk up 4 fucking flights of stairs. You can't just fucking say hi?"

Her eyes got really large as she literally shrunk back against the wall. Ducking from the fire breathing pisces dragon, no doubt.
I turned around and started my walk up the 4 flights of stairs.

Seriously, what is with people and their sarcasm? If someone doesn't notice you, can't you just say hi? Is everything really about you all the fucking time?

I realize I'm like an injured animal that attacks for it's own safety. You want to see mean? Piss me off when I'm in pain.

Needless to say, I've been a no show for blogging and my writing. I've had so many hot baths that my skin might slide off my body. I've been applying ice packs and heating pads and have yet to find a position for my left arm that doesn't have me screaming out in pain. Yeah, it's been a delight. When your bra strap hurts...

The cats have been warm electric blankets coming to keep me company in shifts. Even Zelda, who hasn't come to sleep in the bed for months, has been spending copious amount of hours in the bed beside me, staring up into my face and blinking her eyes.

Oh well, one more ice pack before I get dressed and leave for work.

EY