Cooking Fiend
Mood:  bright
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Sunday 7:21pm 17Sept06

I've been a cooking fiend all day today. Cooked a spinach spoon bread using swiss chard instead of spinach since spinach has been pulled off the shelves. I made a carrot salad with pickles, cauliflower, black beans and swiss chard. I made sauteed sweet potatoes and carrots. I made basil chick peas and you guessed it, swiss chard. And I cooked a small roast beef in rosemary and lemon because I'm in need of a little red meat. I juiced a whack of beets, cabbage, lemons and apples and froze it so I don't have to juice it every single morning this week. I need a break from the juicing discipline I use every day. I feel like my time is so full with preparing food all the time.

My mind was going a mile a minute today. Inner ranting about a person who has been smothering me and this person isn't my friend. Trying to find a tactful way to extricate myself. I wonder why I'm such a magnet to some weird needy people that insist their selves on me. Or is it themselves? huh! It's the constant gibberish. "You called me for that?"

Oh well. Time to move on. It's hard to keep your focus when someone calls you 30 times a day. I have to wonder what the motive is. I have to wonder what kind of person can't get the message. And then I wonder where I'm like that in my life. Where am I not getting the message? Who or what might I be hounding with obsessive fervor? I look at the people in my life and it's not a who. The one person I was unsure of I don't have contact with. I thought maybe I could have been hounding him but nope. So what could I be hounding? Or what am I thinking about obsessively? Hmm!

Rearranged my kitchen, well, what I could of it. It's been transformed. It felt all cluttered and bogged down before. Still haven't finishing painting. Slow but sure, or something like that. Maybe just slow. I have to ask again, How do women with children do it all? I barely manage.

Not much to say tonight. Lots to say but nothing to share. ha ha!

EY

Humber School for Writers
Now Playing: John Mayer
Topic: Writing Outings
Saturday 6:12pm 16Sept06

Went to the International Reading Series at harbourfront on Wednesday. It was the faculty and students from Humber College School for Writers program that I did in 2003.

Here are the notes that I wrote from that evening:

Wayson Choy
When we face a black page we're all equal.

M. G. Vassanji
he talked about being poor and not growing up with books in the house. He would go to the book store and try to read a book chapter by chapter until the owner kicked him out.

He read a piece that he wrote about writing, some of it was tongue in cheek ... a writer makes friends of the gossip and back biter. A writer has no life outside of writing. As a writer you think that you are the perfect subject for a novel. A writer should keep writing when 10 teachers tell you that you haven't a hope in hell.

Paul Quarrington
said being a writer is indicative of an unhealthy psyche. A writer hides behind a veil of lies.

A writer has a pocket of obsessions.
He talked about the first two writing assignments that he gives in his class. The first one is to think of the perfect lover and to describe that person. He gives the room 25 mins or so to do this. The second assignment he asks the room to take the same lover and give him or her a tragedy. He gives them 4 mins to do this. He says that because they only have 4 mins they pull certain ideas out quickly and those ideas are their pocket of obsessions. That tends to be what a writer is obsessed with. Writers tend to write about what they are obsessed with.

What do you really want to write about?
What are you afraid to write about?

Kim Moritsugu
She discussed how she had done every writing program in Toronto for several years and every writing instructor told her that she wasn't any good. When she got Paul Quarrington as her instructor he told her that her writing was okay. She took that as a positive and did the correspondence program with Paul and ultimately published her first novel.

Francine Prose
said that writing was justification for all your bad traits such as eavesdropping, betraying your family etc.

EY

The Last Weekend
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Saturday 16Sept06 1:13pm

Started off the day on the good foot. Got all my groceries done and almost complete my laundry. Cooked black beans and chick peas for a couple recipes that I'll throw together tonight.

It looks like it's turning out to be a beautiful day weather wise and being that it's the last weekend of the summer, I've got to get out and enjoy it. I think I might even go so far as to wear a dress. Yup! Then I'll probably have to pack em away until next season.

Still feeling motivated and inspired from having watched Beyonce perform last night. Hard work, never give up, believe in yourself and all that. We all know that but seeing the proof of it is inspiring.

When I first moved to Toronto I thought it was a pretty lame city to live in. It was almost like a culture shock. Take out was expensive and petite portions. The best clubs were like the worst ones in Montreal. Everything was so spread out and that screeching subway was enough to make me want to turn around and go back to Montreal no matter the consequences. I still can't get many of the foods I was used to eating in Montreal but I've grown to like Toronto as a place to live. Toronto has opened up in the last twenty some odd years. Free concerts that draw a gazillion people was unheard of here for so many years. Now the big names that come here treat Toronto like it's their second home. Who would have thunk?

I think Toronto finally started to grow on me once I got rid of living with roommates and got my own apartment. That whole sanctuary thing I like to mention. The free concerts every weekend at Harbourfront certainly helped. Every Prince concert I've ever attended has been in Toronto. I liked the concert stage at Canada's Wonderland where I saw Sade, Digable Planets, En Vogue, Tina Turner, Earth Wind & Fire and others for such a reasonable price. I liked the stage at Ontario Place where I saw and met Maxi Priest and Shaggy (I like to call him Squiggy or Scrappy.) At the meet and greet, Maxi asked me my name twice and studied my dreads. He had a big Cheshire cat grin and had smoked way too much weed I'd wondered how he'd perform yet he did. Shaggy had us all cracking up with his wit and then excused himself saying he had to go to the bathroom. When one of his handlers commented on how he shouldn't have told us that, he replied, "Even Mariah Carey has to take a shit."

I also saw Freddie Jackson at Ontario Place and Bebe & Cece Winans and others. At Massey Hall I saw the whole Winans brood and Prince again who rewarded the audience by playing his hits after he'd said that he wasn't going to and others. At the Okeefe, I saw In the Land of Spirits, produced, co-composed and directed by John Kim Bell the first Native conductor and fellow cat lover. A cool guy that I've known since I was 19 years old. He'd received so many letters from fellow native Americans about how he became a conductor that he started a Canadian Native Arts Foundation. When he first told me he was a conductor I laughed not believing him. This jokester couldn't be a conductor! Then I was in awe when I read a whack of news articles about this guy whose back I'd walk on because I was so light and he had back problems.

At the Okeefe and subsequently the Hummingbird Centre, I saw Luther Vandross, two nights in a row (met him on the 2nd night), The Joffrey Ballet tribute to Prince, Black dance troupes (names I cannot recall, I know, I suck), Tap Dogs (with girls and guys) and others.

When the Tap Dogs first came to town in 1996 they performed at Harbourfront for a month in the summer. They were all men then. I met them and hit it off with one of the dancers, Ben Mayne. Both Pisces, he's 10 years younger than me, we were both fools. I spent the month with him in his Hotel room. It was the big scandal at the time. His people couldn't figure out why he was hanging out with a girl and my people thought I was sleeping with him. No one could wrap their heads around the strange concept that we just liked each other as people. Just friends? But why?
Of course we fought the last night he was in town. Nothing like the anxiety of goodbyes to make you bicker. We cried like babies when it was time to say good bye.

I saw Luther Vandross a third time at the Maple Leaf gardens, saw Prince there twice, saw Sounds of Blackness there and at the Ford Centre (which still hasn't totally made up for not getting to see them when I was in Minneapolis, I left the day before their concert).

And my Prince, he has made me love Toronto. I saw him at the Guvernment and two nights in a row at the ACC. The first night I had 9th row. The 2nd night I had 1st row and almost had a heart attack when I saw my ticket. When he was on my side of the stage, I copied the dance steps that he was doing and he smiled at me, like we were really dancing together. I had that slow motion experience when he walked in front of me from beneath the stage after a costume change, swung his red towel in the air and let it go flying out toward the crowd. I saw the towel coming toward me and looked at the white American dude beside me on my left who seemed like he was 8 feet tall. He looked down at me as if to say, "Little chick, I'm catching that towel."

I did some basketball jump (that I was never able to do in high school basketball) and caught the towel with my left hand (I'm right handed) and swung around and high fived all the people in the second row. ha ha! The 8foot tall guy said, "Great catch!"
Yeah, I was determined. The night Prince was playing at the Guvernment, I'd called all my friends trying to find a partner to go with me and see about finding a way in, even if we had to scale the walls of the building. Each one of my friends declined but said, "Let me know how it was, I know you'll get in."

I walked a slow calm pace toward the Guvernment, trying to find that pace of determination. Trying to find that right formula that would ensure that I would get in. The line up of actual ticket holders was disheartening. I ran into my friend Vanjandan and her childhood friend Cheryl. Cheryl was a big Prince fan too. Cheryl paid $300 for scalped tickets as I watched with disbelief. I loved Prince but $150? I still needed groceries. I ran into my friend Ronnie who was going in for a meet and greet. I gave him my business card and said, "Tell Prince that I played such and such song on the day of my mother's funeral."
Ronnie said, "He's going to call you for sure."

i stood by the gates longingly wishing I was a VIP that was getting immediate access. Then I turned Montreal (act like you're supposed to be there) and when the next group of VIP's got past the gate I walked in with them. I followed close behind this really hot girl and her boyfriend. She told me she couldn't get into the building. I said, "I know someone is going to get you in. If there's enough room for me, I'm getting my black ass in too."
She chuckled.

Later I overheard her say to her boyfriend that he should stop talking to me, there was no way I was getting in before them. I moved away and watched as Prince's drummer came out of a side door, chatted up the hot chick and got her and her boyfriend in.
I moved over to stand with the media and pulled out my notebook and pen wishing I had a badge to make me look more media like. A bouncer came out of the building and asked us all to move out of the way and commented to the media, "especially you folks."

I knew what that meant, Prince hated the media. I turned as this white stretch limo drove up and the door opened on the other side of the car and Prince got out. I was the car width away from him, could have said something but didn't want to sound like an ass so I just watched him strut in the building. He was teensy tiny approximately the size of my thigh. ha ha
I convinced myself that if I touched his limo that would be the sign that I was getting in. I walked back to his limo and placed my hand on the front touching the head light and the top of the car then said, "I'm getting in!"

A guy came out and got the attention of the media, said they'd be rushed in for a part of the first song, they could take a few quick pictures and then they'd be ushered back out. I followed them into the building but didn't bother to follow them in to the concert room knowing that they couldn't stay anyway. I stood in the building as Jam of the Year started. I was overwhelmed. I could just stand there and hear the concert, I told myself. It was a little tortuous. I started to walk out of the building, giving up my advantage and I looked at my right foot on the pavement and said, "I made it this far, something good is going to happen." and turned back into the building.

A guy came out and asked all us minglers to stand to the one side. We did. Then he announced, "There are people on the guest list that haven't shown up. We're going to sell those tickets for the original ticket value, $60 until they are gone."

I paid my fare and went inside just in time for the second song. I exclaimed, "Thank you Jesus!"
I found Vanjandan and Cheryl.
"How much did you pay?" Cheryl's first words.
"Sixty dollars! ha ha!"
"Shit!"
Cheryl pulled out her camera in a box and took some pictures. A bouncer came to get the camera that Cheryl passed to Vanjandan. Cheryl got kicked out. Vanjandan turned to me and said that she'd pass me the camera if the bouncer came back.
I said, " oh no no. I came to see Prince, I didn't come to get kicked out."
Van said, "I understand."

It was a dream come true seeing Prince in a small venue just like in Purple Rain. I was too exhausted after the concert to go to the Drink for the after party even though I knew that Prince would be there.

The next day at work vanjandan told me that she and Cheryl jumped in a cab and followed Prince's limo trying to make contact with him but they lost him.
"But Prince was at the Drink for the after party."
"What?"
"Uh yeah, it was announced at the end of the concert, didn't you hear?"

Acting like you're supposed to be there... zero dollars
Looking for signs that you're going to get in ... zero dollars
Paying $60 to see Prince in a small venue... PRICELESS!

Yeah Toronto sucks less than it used to...

EY
Off to go see John Mayer at Dundas Square for free. I love his song writing. Hopefully he inspires me too, I'll be indestructible!

Dinner Minting
Topic: Writers in the News
From The Toronto Star

Serving up an entree of emotion
Rachael-Lea Rickards writes her role

`Dinner Mint' retort inspires script
Sep. 14, 2006. 01:00 AM
RICHARD OUZOUNIAN
THEATRE CRITIC

Authors have found titles for their plays in movies, books or songs. Rachael-Lea Rickards came up with one from an MSN conversation gone bad.
I Am Not A Dinner Mint is the show in question. Rickards co-authored it with trey anthony and it opens tomorrow night for an extended run at the Diesel Playhouse after a successful tryout last summer at Harbourfront.

The work's subtitle is The Crap Women Swallow to Stay in a Relationship, and that's just what Rickards was going through when inspiration hit.

"I was on MSN with a boyfriend who is now an ex," she begins "and I got so mad at what he was saying and how he was treating me that I changed my screen name to I Am Not A Dinner Mint."

Why `A Dinner Mint'? As Rickards explains it, it's a mindset in which women are treated as something ultimately unimportant.

"A dinner mint is the small refreshing afterthought one enjoys after a really good meal, the little candies wrapped in layers of tissue in the bottom of granny's purse."

When she felt that particular boyfriend was treating her just that way, something snapped in Rickards and — by changing her screen name — she changed her life, as well.

"Once I signed off, I e-mailed trey and told her about it. She wrote back to me and said `Hold on to that,' and so I did."

She and anthony go back many years, long before they worked together on anthony's breakout hit Da Kink In My Hair.

Rickards was born in Kingston, Jamaica on Sept. 3, 1973 and came to Canada in 1977. It was in high school she met anthony, when they both gravitated towards theatre.

"We auditioned," Rickards recalls, "but we never got any roles. We were heavy-set black women and there weren't a lot of opportunities out there for us."

And so they made their own.

"We'd create pieces and do them at libraries, Second City, Harbourfront, the St. Lawrence Centre — any place that would have us."

This kind of experimentation finally led to Da Kink, which began life at the Fringe Festival and went through several reincarnations before becoming a giant hit in 2005 for Mirvish Productions.

Da Kink will be opening in London this November and Rickards will be a part of it, but right now, her attention is focused on Dinner Mint.

Rickards is anxious to point out that the relationships the show deals with are not all romantic ones.

"Families, friends, employers — they can all `dinner mint' you if you give them half a chance," she laughs.

"We all make choices. There are women who will continue to put themselves into situations where they are not cherished and will be treated badly."

When asked why she thinks this happens, she pauses before answering.

"It's from the messages we're sent early on in life. It's from fear, it's from lack of self-esteem. Maybe these women haven't ever had a real relationship with one person in their whole lives. Maybe it's all they know."

Rickards admits that she's been guilty of being a dinner mint on several occasions in her life other than the romantic one that triggered the play's creation.

"I was with an agency who would only send me out for black girl roles and fat girl roles. I finally realized that I didn't like the way they were thinking of me and so I let them go."

And more recently, she found herself "as a corporate trainer in a major company. I didn't feel right about the work, but I was too afraid to leave; finally they let me go.

"I learned that in the universe either you get out, or the universe will get you out."

There's a story just like that in Dinner Mint, although Rickards doesn't deliver it herself because "it was nice to have someone else voice my feelings."

When the time came to stage their work, Rickards and anthony decided to leave the all-black environment of Da Kink and work with "different ethnicities, all women's voices. Because we've all shared the same stories at some point in time."

The talented ensemble cast of five features Rickards, Jemeni, Graziella Mastrangelo, Aktina Stathaki and Mandeep Kaur Mucina in a series of monologues, scenes and songs.

One of Rickard's most powerful moments is as an abused wife, living in luxury on Toronto's Bridle Path, but afraid to speak out against her husband.

"That was written for me by trey," she says, "and it's thankfully fictional for both of us, although we've worked with lots of abused women."

During the show's Harbourfront tryout, the response from audience members was overwhelming and many of them would contact Rickards and anthony about their experiences.

"One woman wrote that her abuser of many years was in the audience with her and the play gave her the courage to break her silence."

She pauses after sharing that story, then says softly. "That's why we're here. That's why we're doing what we do.

"It's more than a play, you see. We're helping people look at their lives and decide if they want to change them."

Beyonce
Topic: Inspiration
Friday 10:43pm 15Sept06

I went and saw Beyonce perform at Dundas Square this evening. She sounded excellent, she looked amazing and the main thing that struck me was how inspiring she is. When you think about it, she's 25 years old and look at her. She's got some real talent and all that kept reverberating in my mind was, "That's the result of hard work."

Imagine what you would do if you knew at the end of some real hard work for several years without stopping or giving up how accomplished we could all be. I'm going to think about that for myself for a long while.

EY