said in a whisper
Topic: Another Entry
Saturday 9June07 2:20pm

Tomorrow I walk a few blocks with my cat carrier case to meet a new girl. Her Mommy is moving to England and can't bring her too.

I say this in a whisper, I'm getting another cat!

EY

Perfect Evening
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Saturday 1:22pm 9June07

Moving slow this morning. Despite it being the afternoon, it feels like morning to me. I've been eating a little and sleeping a little. I started with sardines and fruit juice for breakfast. ha ha! It went surprisingly well together. Had another sleepathon then had Oysters, cheese, Melba toast and cherries.

At work yesterday I ran into my new friend, Double D and she invited me out for a drink. I rushed home to drop off my luggage (I carry a lot of stuff!) and the torrential downpour happened. It looked suspiciously like my outdoor music plans were going to be rained out but I pushed that negative thought aside. Focus on one thing at a time.

I met up with Double D and had some great chuckles. Cousin Nelson made a comment about an exceptionally skinny patron asking the few of us gathered to imagine having sex with such a bony girl. I, in my normal sick minded way, said, "It would be like dry humping the bed."

The Groper wouldn't stop touching me and I was trying my best to be nice about it and stop him at the same time. There's nothing like a drunk with no control. I said nicely, "unhand me!"
I told his childhood friend, one of the bartenders, to get his friend in check.

The Groper asked me out for dinner and refused to believe me when I nicely responded, "No I have plans."
Double D finally got fed up and said, "Leave her alone. She's being nice about it, far nicer than anyone should. We're here for a drink and a laugh. Let's just have fun, okay?"

He got pissy and quiet for awhile then resumed the , "let's go for dinner" attack. Then called me a bitch a number of times because of course, when all else fails and the woman isn't doing what you want her to do, she's a bitch. Okay, you're right, I'm the bitch."

He at one point suggested that I could be coerced to do some kind of slutty thing and cousin Nelson piped in by saying, "No man, she's not that kind of girl."

So let's take a look at the wonderful qualities of this wonderful speci-man! Very drunk, asks the same questions over and over again, touchy feely (not in a good way), wants to take me out for dinner in hopes (no doubt) that he can woo me into the sack? Calls me a bitch because I won't go for dinner nor bring him to my next part of my evening, the concert. Why is this man single? I have visions of him one day finding the girl that mistakenly says yes and him forcing himself on her. How attractive does that make him?

I moved on to my concert. Buckwheat Zydeco was the opening act. Fun, skippy music. Main act, the Dirty Dozen Brass Band rocked the house. When they played, "when the saints go marching in," everybody in the audience stood up and stayed standing up. Dancing and hooting and clapping and singing and grooving and the whole nine.

How enjoyable to be outside, down by the water, with great music and it was free. It was darker than usual because of the search light show, which is pretty awesome. I walked along the water to the bar to meet up with Jojo who was in her element. Luminato has brought all of the old technicians out of the woodwork and a reliving of the old days when the beer was flowing and the jokes were coming and the laughter echoed across the water. And when I finally felt the end, I was hugged and squashed and kissed by many! It was a nice ending to an almost perfect evening. And I hardly spent any money.

EY

Could you imagine?
Click the link - Powerpoint Suicide good-bye

On the Lot
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
On the lot was short. They only featured 5 filmmakers. Two standouts were :

Broken Pipe Dreams. Rigging the toilet up as if it were a bomb, cracked me up. And always, if you use a Boston Terrier, they always look so darn expressive. I want one!

Dough, the musical. Singing about falling in love and finding a job and the lyrics were pretty funny.

Honorable mention goes to Shalini's character in Laughing Out Loud, "What am I gonna do, build an axis of evil float in the gay pride parade?" That made me laugh both times.

I can't wait to see special effects guy's latest.

EY

Life as a character
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Tuesday 8:42pm 5June07

Sometimes I swear I'm a character in a novel. Things don't really work out this way do they? Not in reality anyway.
Saw the ex love of my life (at least I was positive he was, once) and it was mighty weird being around him. We'll never be friends, not that we need to be. It would be more than a little weird I think. I stared at him when he wasn't looking, trying to access any recognition in my heart. What was it like to feel what I used to feel? I couldn't replicate it. Not that I need to but I have these strange compulsions sometimes.

I ran into "Don't I get a second chance" guy. I was expecting silence but instead I got "I'm going to seduce you into a second chance." sigh! You gotta admire a guy though who has the stamina for rejection. He's got this way of talking to me that feels like he's touching me even though he isn't. A certain attentiveness wrapped in a whole lot of cluelessness on what would have to be done to get and keep my attention. Hence the no second chance. But it's funny to be around a person that feels that we have some kind of unfinished business.

And missing in action guy is missing in action in full view. No connection on both our parts and maybe that's for the best but the unfinished business is like an explosion that can't be stopped and I can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing. Is anyone supposed to drive you crazy? is that how these things go?

As I look at it all and pick it all apart, I think that there's a reason that ex falls into my life out of the blue (despite the whole mercury retrograde thing starting freaking early). Sometimes you have to look back to see how far you've come and possibly have another epiphany. He is the reminder that I can survive heartbreak and overcome it. I've still been running but I can survive it.

The epiphany though is that I'm focused on fear more than on anything. It's hard to move forward if you are in fear mode but there is a gift in fear too. With the gift, the question to ask is, can I trust this person with my heart? Obviously. But it's not always the first question that we ask, that I ask. if I'm going to be honest.

EY