The Right One
Now Playing: Yusef Islam
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Friday 5:35pm 17Nov06
We're at the home stretch before Mercury turns direct. Thankfully it hasn't been my worse Mercury Retrograde. But then it's been in Scorpio which is a water sign like Pisces which is my sign. I don't think it's so bad when it's in your own element. All of next year's retrogrades continue in water signs with the next one starting just before my birthday. I've noticed with the retrogrades this year and specifically the one that started the day after my birthday that what is affecting me has been timing. If I want to see someone or speak to someone I just miss him or her. Oh well.

Happy to be sitting at home with the prospect of full laziness although I know I need to do some major writing given I was out the last couple nights and didn't get much done when I did get home.
I'm still perturbed about not recalling whether I said good night to Fredo Wednesday night. I saw him briefly today and he told me that I did in fact say good night and we did hug. Peculiar.

So in keeping with Fredo and what I do remember about Wednesday night, I do remember that he said that he does want to get married but wants to marry the right girl. Yeah, the right one. I hope you find her and give me some hope.

Although there is a couple that does provide me with lots of hope, Hugs and Bon Bon. Bon Bon kissed a few frogs before she got her princely hubby, Hugs. In fact she and I have the same ex. She went out with him for 2 years, I went out with him for 2 months. She's got a good thing now, a really loving, expressive union. It's really nice to be around them because it's not that showy kind of love that you feel is fake. Whenever I'm around them I feel ready to commit to the right man and wonder where I even begin to look and is it that simple?

I know with Hugs and Bon Bon, after knowing each other through work for years, they had a conversation one day and realized a spark, something clicked. On their first date they talked about the serious things - what they believed in, what they wanted out of life, how they wanted to spend their days and nights and if I remember correctly pretty much got engaged that night. Sometimes it's about timing which brings me back to mercury retrograde and how it's been affecting my timing.

Maybe the bad timing is here to teach me a deeper sense of patience. Maybe I already know the right person and I haven't woken up to him yet. In the meantime, I go to the bar for Fredo hugs (after much verbal abuse) I might as well just become a regular, sucker for punishment that I so clearly am. I get the bouts of laughter and flirtation from my friend. Ant brings out my philosophical qualities, my depth pours out because he gives me a safe place to say what I really think about deep down without me having to cover it up with humour. And though it isn't everything it's certainly a step in the right direction. Step by step by step.

And I say once again Fredo, I hope you find what you're looking for and maybe I will too.

EY

Escaped
Now Playing: Anthony David - Ain't Enough for me
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Thursday 7:38pm 16Nov06

Just got in. Feel like listening to music. Managed to escape the drinking animals both last night and tonight. Last night after working a bit late I called the Friend to see if he was still in the building and met up for a beer. We managed to crack each other up the whole time we were together which is our norm.

Since he was technically still on the clock he had to go back to work and I had another couple beer. Ended up talking to one of the regulars and making him cry. Too cute. It's amazing how we beat ourselves up repeatedly about stuff from the past. I told him that tonight I am your guardian angel to tell you it's okay, you did the best that you could and there are benefits to what you've given your children in equal proportion to the quote unquote voids. That's what made him cry.

Funny I had a black out period from last night. I have absolutely no recollection of saying good bye/good night to Fredo the bartender. Did I say good bye? Did I hug him? I can't recall. The period from leaving the bar, riding up the escalator to getting outside I can't recall. I'd email and ask but knowing full well he won't respond why ask the questions that won't be answered. Too funny though that I remember standing outside talking to the Friend and cracking up. Very bizarre. Very episode of Heroes!

Went out again this evening with The gooseman and his friend that I'm not a real fan of so I called the evening short and rushed home to my cats. Supposed to have Yan Yan over on Saturday night but since he hasn't set a time I feel he may back out or I might. Who knows.

The boys are almost over calling me young man. It'll be two weeks on Saturday since I shaved my hair. My boss has stopped introducing me as his "new girl." Silly boys. Most of the contractors have asked, "What did you do?" Too funny. It might be time hurt someone just cuz.

I confessed to the friend that I am a drunk dialer. I call people when I'm drunk. More recently I've been drunk emailing which a bit safer, I think, in that I don't wake anyone. So he's expecting a proclamation of my undying love one night when I'm drunk. Yeah AD, I'll get right on that but you have to say it first, ha ha! Cut from the same cloth, we two fools!

Okay well I'm off to sing for my cats and not drunk dial nor drunk email and possibly get to bed at a godly hour. Decided to read Wicked instead of Mac-kers since I only have the complete works of Shakespeare and that sucker is way too heavy to be carrying around.
over and out...

EY

A Date, a Date?
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Tuesday 5:29pm 14Nov06

I asked a man out today. ha ha. Well he is a man but happens to be in his seventies. He owns a company who provides a service to our building. On one of his first visits and while waiting for my boss, he sat down and chatted with me. He told me a handful of stories about his youth and had me cracking up over his escapades. I thought then that I'd love to go out and have a couple drinks with this man and find out more. Hey it's all material. But I'm very much one of those people who loves to sit at the feet of my elders and find out whatever they want to tell me about a time when I wasn't alive.

Anyway when I told him that I wanted to go out to dinner with him he said, "I fear I'd have a heart attack in the middle of dinner trying to get my hands on you." ha ha. Older men are charmers for sure. You young guys should get some pointers. Just a thought.

R.Mac and I discussed how many laughs we have and the personal information we've divulged despite the fact that we've never met face to face. She has started a campaign to tap on every black woman with shaved hair who looks fit and may drink potato juice. Too funny and R.Mac... good luck!

I had this brilliant plan to go to a movie on Tuesdays and Sundays. The Tuesday night has already fallen apart. Most of the movies start after 6pm. I want to see a movie around 5pm so I still have time to write afterwards. sigh! So much for that effort. Just trying to shake up the schedule so I'm not too hermit-like. Oh well, maybe I'm meant to be a hermit. For now anyway.

The novel is going well. Glad to be writing everyday. Thinking about it a lot during the day which always helps my focus when I sit down and write. That whole washing/cutting that man right out of my hair has done wonders for my focus. It always does. Bastards! Love to love em, love to hate em.

I'm apparently going out with my boys and the boys from the cafe that my boys frequent on their breaks tomorrow night. The boys from the cafe are younger than me and drinking animals. Every time I go out with them I have to leave early and go to bed. I'll probably be passed out by 6:30pm tomorrow. There goes that spiritual realization I'm always thinking about following. Maybe I'll be self realized next week.

EY

Scheduled Procrastination
Topic: WC - Daily Practice
Sunday 12Nov06 3:42pm
Keep promising myself that I would get back to seeing movies on a regular basis. With my funny money situation and the need to shake up my schedule a bit going to a movie can be like a scheduled procrastination. I'm going to procrastinate anyway, it's my nature.

I went to see Bon Cop, Bad Cop which was a good laugh. A lot of the laughs were purely about the pronunciation, Colm Feore had me in hysterics when he and Patrick Huard get the giggles and Colm's character speaks French with horrible pronunciation. It was classic. And of course when Patrick's character conjugates the word Fuck en Francais was priceless too. One of the things I liked the best about the movie was when Patrick breaks down. The script and the idea was written/conceived by Patrick. There were other writers of course. When Patrick's characters daughter gets kidnapped and he goes to see his ex-wife who is freaking out and crying, he says he's sorry and breaks down and cries. I realized that in most (all?) buddy movies men never get emotional about their kids lives being in danger. Their emotions are implied in the violence they mete out against the kidnappers. I really liked that Patrick's character broke down.

Any way I blab on and on don't I? It was a fun viewing and makes me want to get back into French. Something I was supposed to be doing ages ago. I'd also like to see more stuff with Patrick Huard. And Colm Feore, I always love him. He reminds me of John Malcovich in Dangerous Liasons with that ability to come across as almost effeminate he's so comfortable with his sexuality. Colm cracked me up as Sanjay in Slings and Arrows (Paul Gross' series on showcase.)

I'm almost finished reading Possessed. I found out that Wendy and Lisa are gay and partners and have known each other since childhood. Now that's a romance. I had to laugh though. I would have never thought they were together as a couple. I realize that I never suspect anyone of being a couple. I always believe that people are friends and never assume a romantic relationship unless it is affirmed as such. Like all the rumours that have poured around about Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. A number of my gay male friends have even said, "They should just come out already." It makes me laugh. I don't get it. Why can't two people be inseparable without sex being involved.
Now I see why so many people never believed that my best friend Jay and I have never had a sexual relationship. It's because they always suspect a sexual relationship first. Funny. We are a strange lot.
Because of watching Slings and Arrows, I think I may want to read Macbeth next. We'll see how that pans out.

I've managed to crack past 10,000 words on my Nanowrimo novel. Good but not great. I need to be further along. It's ragged but I'll get it. We're almost half way through the month. sigh! But overall I feel good about the direction White Wishes is taking. That's all that matters. It's not like I win anything if I win Nanowrimo but it's a great way to have a substantial piece completed.

I'm finding conversations more and more difficult these days. What is with people who don't let you get your idea across before they cut you off? I find that I lose my train of thought and that I feel less likely to want to continue with what I'm saying. Where did everything change in conversation? Why can't we wait until a person completes a thought before we bombard them with our opinions and ideas and questions? I'm just wondering.

I'm not sure what movie I'll see next week. I live between two movie theatres (one that shows immediate releases and the other that shows independents). If I keep up with it, it'll give me something to blog about and hopefully make me less apt to procrastinate. Let's hope anyway.

EY

No more Bath time visits
Topic: The Zelda Diaries
Tuesday 7:25am 9Nov06

Miss Zelda, the only cat that keeps me company while I have my morning bath got her bath surprise. Playing as she does while sitting on the ledge of the bath she slipped down the edge into the bath tub and couldn't get her wet feet out quick enough. I'm surprised she didn't scratch me to shreds.

She was lucky the bath was still filling up and not full.

Wet foot prints left their marked exit out of the bathroom. It was bound to happen, probably won't happen again. But the laugh I had was probably good for my bulging right eye, all those tears lubricating my eyeball.

The kitty fun never ends.


EY