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Esmeraude's Dream |
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A little spoof on what would happen if our favorite green goddess, Esmeraude, ruled the world! |
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Religion There is only one religion, and that is 'Esmeraude-ism.' Every Sunday it is mandatory to worship Esmeraude, whether at the church itself, or in your own home. It is only common sense to offer jewels, Hostess Cupcakes, or anything else at the altar closest to your location. Offers If on a rare occasion, should the Queen offer you something, you will accept it without question and thank her for her kindness. Animals Anything that urinates on the Queen's shoe is not worthy of living. Men Whether single, married, or divorced, the Queen is entitled to any man she wants, should he strike her fancy. Refusal to date her, or succumb to her wishes result in cruel and unusual punishment. Any men with red hair will have it died a different color immediately. Red heads remind her too much of that incompetent lame-ass Rubius. Women Women will not be prettier or more talented than the Queen. Should the woman be more talented than the Queen, she will fake that she isn't or be put to death. Beauty pageants are unnecessary, as the Queen already knows the winner. Money It is the law to give half of your daily earnings to the Queen to pay for her pedicures, wine, and other expenses. |
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Do you want to escape from this insanity? Aww…you're no fun. But if you should have any ideas for this little ditty, please e-mail them to me. |
