Adam Sandler's Astrology

(This page was created by Katherine)

(I edited some of this)

• Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22)... You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a jerk.
• Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22)... You are a pioneer type and think most people are jerks. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but aggrivate everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.
• Aries (Mar 23 - April 22)... You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You have a lack of confidence and are a general d
• Taurus (April 23 - May 22)... You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a communist.
• Gemini (May 23 - June 22)... You are a quick and intelligent thinker. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means your are a cheap bastard.
• Cancer (June 23 - July 22)... You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.
• Leo (July 23 - Aug 22)... You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting.
• Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22)... You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional. Virgos make good bus drivers.
• Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22)... You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. Chances for employment are nill.
• Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22)... You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpios are murdered.
• Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22)... You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks.
• Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22)... You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chicken doodoo. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.