Jokes For Swift People
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Deep Insights
- Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
- If con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
- If you melt a pool full of dry ice, can you swim in it without getting wet?
- If Barbie is so dang popular, why do you have to buy all of her friends?
- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
- Why isn't Phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
- Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
- Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
- Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
- If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
- If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
- If nothing sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
- If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
- If you are in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
- Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
- Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
- Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
- If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
- If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
- If you have multiple personalities, please press 3,4,5 and 6.
- If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
- If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
- If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.