The Ped Mall Witch Project is a parody of the Blair Witch project, if you couldn't already tell. The Blair Witch Project takes place in the woods near
Burkittsville, Maryland. The Ped Mall Witch Project takes place in the pedestrian mall in Iowa City, Iowa. The original idea for this came from Bryan's
sister. She got the idea from one of her friends. After watching the Blair Witch Project with Bryan and his sister, I realized how amazingly stupid it was. I
decided that a parody was the least this steaming pile of motion picture bowel movement deserved. Now I know nobody else has thought of parodying
the BWP (hahahaha, sarcasm), but i thought that the concept of the ped mall witch project was just too good not to take into action. Bryan, Kristi (Bryan's
sister), and I immediately began thinking up ideas of some scenes. These are listed below. The Ped Mall Witch Project will be ready in time for the West
High Academy Awards in May, and it may even be ready be the end of the year, if all goes well. We still don't have anybody to play the girl, so if you
know me and go to Iowa City West High and want to be in it, let me know. Ok, and now for the info on the movie!
The Cast
Keith Turner - Keith Turner (the equivalent of Michael)
Bryan Rennekamp - Bryan Rennekamp (the equivalent of Josh)
Sally Gay - Sally Gay (the equivalent of Heather)
Random People - Interviewees for the documentary
Brian Wiese - Crazy Old Guy that we interview (the equivalent of the crazy old lady that they interviewed in BWP, who talked about the Blair Witch
being covered in fur)
History of the Project
10/30/99 - I first watch the Blair Witch Project with Bryan and his sister, and decide that I have to parody it. Kristi suggests the idea of the Ped Mall Witch Project.
10/31/99 - This website was created.
11/3/99 - The school paper, the West Side Story decides to do a story on student-produced movies, and the Ped Mall Witch Project is the main focus.
11/4/99 - Sally is confirmed as the female lead.
11/6/99 - The planning session is scheduled to be at Bryan's house, because 3 people at my DVD player (computer) is quite a crowd. Well, Sally tells us she can't come, so Bryan and I go to my house to watch it, but my DVD player is uninstalled and won't reinstall itself. Bryan ends up just spending the night at my house and we played "Omikron: The Nomad Soul", which is a kickass game. The planning session is scheduled for next week.
11/7/99 - Grant Schulte, of the West Side Story, interviews me for his article.
11/13/99 - Bryan and I had play rehearsal all day from 8 AM to 4 PM, but after that we were going to plan the movie. We called Sally, but she ended up having a social life, so we did the planning without her. This is what we planned: we are just going to go out there and improvise most of it. What's there to plan?
11/19/99 - During Spanish first hour, I planned out all the supplies and the basic scene outline, and i realized that we dont have any cameras. Bryan has one, but the battery is only 45 minutes. We planned to film next weekend, with the school's camera, and maybe Joel Donham's, if he'll let us use it... Sally, Bryan, and I ended up seeing Sleepy Hollow, which kicks ass. Sally left after the movie, but Bryan and I hung out till Sunday night. We watched There's Something About Mary, Robocop, Mad Max, and The Silence Of The Lambs. We also went to Goodwill and spent 50 cents on "Do The Urkel", a board game. I'm gonna give it to the cast of my play on monday, they'll love it.
11/20/99 - After Bryan dropped me off at my house, I found out that I'm going to Minnesota Thanksgiving weekend. There goes production AGAIN! bah...
11/21/99 to 12/16/99 - Everyone completely forgets about making the movie. We need some sort of external motivation, because we are lazy bums. The driving internal need to produce this movie is not enough to get any one of us to actually organize something.
12/17/99 - External motivation comes. The West Side Story runs their story on the movie. Even though they misinterpreted the title of the movie (the called it "The Ped Mall Blair Witch Project"), people began to approach us and ask us when the hell we will make it.
1/14/00 - Keith cracks under the pressure. Plans are made to finally film this weekend. Sally went to get her camera from her uncle's place, Bryan has his camera ready, and I actually went to bed before 1 AM so I could wake up in time to film.
11/15/00 - A great day of filming!! We got almost all the daytime scenes done, and had a good time too. We had to leave the ped mall early b/c Sally and Bryan had places to be. BRYAN!!! Sally, now that's not too uncommon, but BRYAN? He'd be the LAST person I'd think to have plans on a Saturday night! :). We are going to finish up tomorrow.
Ideas for the movie
(i will post these as we come up with them. Not all of them will be in the movie, but they probably will, because I don't like to think things up. So, if you
have any good ideas, and would like to be credited in this movie, email them to me at wcs_scyther@yahoo.com.)
-the map will just be a big capital T
(that's what the ped mall looks like)
-running gag: after bryan gets lost, he keeps showing up in the background. Like he'll be driving around behind keith and sally in his car, and he'll be jogging around too. another time is when keith and psuedo-heather be sitting on the steps of subway talking about him, and he will walk out of subway behind them with a
sandwich and a soda
-when everyone's in the tent (we'll probably do the tent scenes at bryan's house) and it's being shaken by something, the camera will whip around inside,
and it'll be keith shaking the inside of the tent, and after it's clear that he's doing it, he'll stop, look around and go "...um...uh...RUN!!!!!!!!"
-for the noises in the middle of the night, kristi (that's bryan's sister) will be banging her crutches together, and she'll be very easy to see, but keith, bryan,
and sally won't notice her.
-At the beginning when it says "In October of 1998 three student filmmakers
went into Downtown Iowa city in search of The PEDMALL WITCH." Have one
of
the three filmmakers holding it like a sign and have the camera
accidently
see them holding the sign and say something like "Sugar! Can we rewind
over
that?"(credit: Matt Clancy)
-For the interviews at the beginning, we're going to interview actual people. Like we'll go into Herteen and Stocker Jewlers and be like "'this is the local...mercantile, right?' 'right...' 'Then you must have heard a lot of legends and stories?' 'Well, actually, I' 'Then you must have heard something about the Ped Mall Witch...'"
-
Have someone dressed up as a witch cavorting around town with Rennekamp
after he "dies."(credit:Matt Clancy)
-Advertise for "The Ped Mall witch Website" during the movie.(credit:Matt Clancy)
-Have them start off into downtown in a really distinct place, like
right in
front of the Old Capital and they can keep passing in front of it as
they
wander about lost.(credit:Matt Clancy)
-
Have them lose an entire day of hiking walking in a tight circle around
a
tree, while they argue about whether or not they've been there before.(credit:Matt Clancy)
-Shoot a scene of them starving to death in front of Blimpie or Burger
King.(credit:Matt Clancy)
-the house scene will be done in a port-a-potty, and bryan will be standing on the seat and keith and sally will be on the floor. he'll be doing his
yelling and stuff, and keith will go "he's upstairs!!!" then keith and sally get on the seat and bryan steps onto the floor and psuedo-heather can
go "he's downstairs, hurry!" then keith and sally will come down so everyone's on the bottom, and then we'll turn away from each other, and
sally will be like "keith? KEITH? OH MY GOD, KEITH, WHERE ARE YOU?" then she will turn aroudn, and see keith standing in the
corner, and then she drops the camera
-the "newly discovered footage" will be an old home video that bryan and kristi made. they used to make these REALLY dumb videos as kids. they're
hilarious to watch.
-you know how they swear a lot? well we're going to say flipping and sugar, instead of fuck and shit. so it'll be like "oh no. keith, tell me you're flipping
kidding. oh sugar. oh flipping sugar. tell me you did not flipping kick the gosh darn map into the flipping fountain! i can't believe you flipping did that,
you piece of sugar!"
-have keith be peeing when he is standing in the corner in the house scene.(credit: Oliver Sum-ping)
-actually show the ped mall witch. make her be a typical witch, with broom, and pointy hat. this provides a delightful commentary on the lack of substance in the BWP (credit: oliver sum-ping)
-for the the piles of rocks that are laid around, we're going to use cups from stores in the ped mall. Also for the bundle of sticks that had josh's bloody shirt in it, we're gonna have something of bryan's covered in special sauce and wrapped in a burger king wrapper.
Links
Blair Witch Online - The offical homepage for the heaping pile of animal dropping they call the BWP
BlairWichita.com - A Blair Witch Parody Site - A parody of the Blair Witch Project. The victims are Vanessa Williams, Phil Donahue, and Elmore
Leonard. Kind of funny...
The Blair Bitch Project - Some guy couldn't get into the Blair Witch because it only opened in 27 theaters, so he parodied their website. Great use of
Flash, it's worth a look.
Well, I hope to hear some comments from you about this. Oh, and please don't tell me how stupid it is, I already know it's a dumb idea. I am doing it
because it's a dumb idea. So please, tell someone else it's stupid, not me. Thanks!
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