Ladies and gentleman of the class of ’99: Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has more reliable than my own meandering experience
I will dispense this advice now
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth
Oh, never mind... You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked
You’re not as fat as you imagine
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4 P.M. on some idle Tuesday
Do one thing every day that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts; don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind
The race is long and in the end it’s only with yourself
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with the rest of your life
The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary
Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself too much either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can
Don’t be afriad of what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own
Dance... Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them
Do not read beauty magazines
They will only make you feel ugly
Get to know your parents
You never know when they’ll be gone for good
Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future
Understands that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders
Respect your elders
Don’t expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out
Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40, it will look 85
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it’s worth
But trust me on the sunscreen