Splender

When I'm asleep, I leave the light on, and try to breathe.. relive the moment I was born, I feel the breeze, it feels electric, then mockery, another headache I reject. Suppose the feeling's real, you'd never know.. Suppose it's what you feel, you'll never know. That's what I don't understand, that's what I don't know. Now I'm awake, I leave the light on, and take a swim, beneath the rocks and undertow, I try to scream, I don't remember where I've been, a trampoline, another lack of oxygen. Suppose the feeling's real, you'd never know.. suppose it's what you feel, you'll never know. I open my mouth but there's nothing, to swallow down. I'm scratching my face like there's something, further down. It's like a drug, I turn the light off, and pull the plug, but still it always comes back on. Suppose you change your mind, and back again.. suppose you had more time, and adrenaline.

And you're primitive, and you're cynical to me. And I chewed down on the bit, and almost swallowed it. You sit all alone with your color TV, your hair starts to glisten in spite of the fleas, We don't have to stay friends, let's pretend to be enemies, yeah, whatever makes you happy, yeah whatever makes it beautiful, yeah, whatever leaves you satisfied, 'cause I'm out of time, for now. And you're paranoid, as you look me up and down, and I'm soaked in gasoline, mud and ice cream, you sit by the phone with your tongue hanging out, you cradle the flies in the back of your mouth, we don't have to stay friends, let's pretend to be enemies. Damned if you do fucked if you don't, damned if you do, what if you won't. Damned if you do, fucked if you don't, what if you won't, you must be aware what you're doing to me, we sunk like a stone or a rock in the sea, we don't have to stay friends, (not for very long), we don't have to stay friends (just because you're gone), You get what you want 'cause you won't let it die, yeah, whatever makes you happy, yeah, whatever leaves you insecure, yeah, whatever seems to break you down, 'cause I'm out of time, but I'm feeling fine.

Roll over monotone, I've got something to say to you, I can't speak in stereo, And I don't want you to be confused. There's no need to analyze, there's no need to form an affliction, you're so bored and paralyzed, as you're making another excuse. I can't handle it, I'm intolerant, I rip off my shirt and I deal with it, I won't throw a fit, I don't give a shit, I fall flat on my face in the back of this one. Collect me monotone, 'cause I think I'm falling to pieces, I'm so strange, you should've known, while I lick all the salt off these wounds. For this one. I'm hating myself for, I want nothing else more, We have such a strange design.

I won't tell you my name, I avoid all those things, All together, I'm so high. Well I know it was dumb, staring right at the sun, stoned forever. Well it won't be the first or the last time, the world passes by. I'm a spaceboy, I don't want to be found, I'm a spaceboy, so stop holding me down, and I'd love, If I never returned to the ground. Well can we still be friends? Well I guess that depends, how's the weather from so high? Well I know it's a shame, why do you cause all this strain, all together. Well it won't be the first or the last time I wanted to try. I'm a spaceboy, I don't want to look down, I'm a spaceboy, I've been floating around. And I'd love if I never returned to the ground, I can see all the world going by. I'm a spaceboy, I don't want to be found, I'm a killjoy, So stop dragging me down, And I'd love, If I never returned to the ground.

Better be good, I've said, better be bad, I've done, Better be told what you want, Better believe in what? Better to think about it, better to live without it, better be told what you want, better believe in what? You think you're so special, you think you're so clean, you think you're just better than me. Well first I chew you in, and then I spit you out. Better to leave, I doubt it, better to talk, about it, better be told what you want, better believe in what? I wanna let go, I wanna stay home, and be myself, I wanna let go, I wanna stay home, I'm justified. You think it gets better than this? But should I take you in?

There's a lot of things I understand, and there's a lot of things, That I don't want to know. But you're the only face, I recognize, It's so damn sweet of you, to look me in the eyes. It's alright, I'm O.K., I think God can explain, I'm relieved, I'm relaxed, I'll get over it yet, The scent of Vaseline, in the summertime, the feel of an ice cube, melting over time, the world seems bigger than both of us, yet it seems so small, when I begin to cry. I'm so much better than you guessed, I'm so much bigger than you guessed, I'm so much brighter than you guessed. I'm relieved, I'm relaxed, I'll get off of your back, I think God can explain.

Beautiful feather hovering over ground, we're similar, we're both being pushed by the wind, through the air, to wherever, haven't I seen you before? Haven't you been here before? As we both sit together, whatever, as the wind blows..., it's so supernatural, let it fly, wonderful words lying in the grass, we're similar, we're both getting cut off again, together, whatever, as we both sway.. we must stop meeting this way, we've both been living O.K., 'cause we fell so far, from this tree again. And the sun is my best friend, and the earth opened up to me, we've been separate for so long, so long..., it's so supernatural, now everything's beautiful, we fell far from this tree, for so long, we crawled out of this stream, for so long, what's become of you? what's become of me? It's O.K, it's O.K, it's part of everything, it's natural, it's part of everything.

You've been pushing but I don't agree, 'cause there was nothing ever here for me. If you could see the circles in my eyes, I tried, Let's get this whole thing out. I cannot be responsible, I don't care, I cannot be responsible, for you, do you know where you are? God I can't believe that I'm still here. And it's purpose wasn't very clear, I'm gonna take the time to wash away, this day, let's get the whole thing out. With all I have and all you know, don't trust me 'cause I'll hurt you so, as simple as a syllable, be tired of my kind.

You're down, so stay there, I'm clipping your unearned wings, my dear. You cry, for the outside, but I don't think you'll see it now. For rain that's fallen, Halfway down the sky. I apologize, for sunlight burning holes into your eyes, I apologize. You float like an angel, but then I wipe your cloud, and throw you out. You fall, 'cause you can't fly, but I don't think you'll, feel it now. For rain that's fallen, halfway down the sky, I apologize, For sunlight burning holes into your eyes, I apologize. The scent of semen, is what brought you here, we've made this clear, we slide on your insides, But I don't think we'll need it now.

There was a bright light, but it was an off white, upside down memory. I'm caught in a landslide, I'm caught in a joyride, as my blood, begins to thin..., you says it's a fact, you say it's a feeling, to stab in my back. So long, sorry, it makes me cry, (it makes me sad) so wrong, so rare, but I don't feel, and you're not there, and I don't want you back. Well you had a hard day, of pushing me away, please don't push, I fall easily. Well you put a harsh strain, hard on the membrane, I react to words you say. It's not like I care, it's not like I'm bleeding, or numb everywhere. But I don't, 'cause I stopped spinning around for you. There was a bright light, but it was an off white, and all the world came crashing down. I'm caught in a landslide, I'm caught in a joyride, as my blood begins to thin..., you say it's a fact, you say it's a feeling, to stab in my back. But I don't feel it coming on again. It's making me high, 'cause I stopped spinning around for you.

Got myself a job, gonna move up that corporate ladder, follow in the footsteps of all my friends. Have another cigarette. So why you tripping on me? I can't take all this pressure, gotta find some way to cope with this. Have another cigarette. And live 'til you die. I'm not afraid, I'm unafraid, I'm different from the rest somehow. Blind to the wind, the news, and the culture, deaf to the sound that leaks from your voice, take a deep breath and pray, for a second one. Have another cigarette. So what do you think of me now? I'm not here to impress you, I'm not the one who's insecure. Springtime, Jesus, flower, firefly, sister, Sunday, winter, mother... Start learning to fall... I could never be like this I could never be like this, start learning to fall down, will you ever believe me? Will you never be with me? start learning to crawl. Springtime, Jesus, flower, mother.

Two more days is all you ever wanted, pain your face it's time to be social, standing on the edge you're feeling so special, looking at the center of a downward, circle. It's a side we offend, it's the work of a fool, it's the sign of a freak, who's uncool. Nobody understands wallflower, nobody gives a damn wallflower, cannot get into you, look what you made me do, down, I'm so down, if you kiss the dirt, well then you'd see my reflection. Look around and I start to laugh, no more need for photographs, was there something you meant to say, as I walked away? It's the way we collide, It's the way we connect, it's the way we confuse, so rude. No one will want from you, haven't you got a clue? Cannot get over you, look what you put me through. Down, I'm so down, if you kiss the dirt, well then you'd see my reflection/intention/aggressions/pretensions

I've been to London, I've sailed a ship around the world, I've counted angels, I've seen a tangerine girl. And though it's leading me on, and though I know that it's wrong, and though I'm living my dream, I still can't seem to move on. I've swallowed aspirin, I've seen the white of my own eyes, I've felt the hunger, I've swallowed handfuls of flies. I've watched the felines, I've watched them scratch, my skin away, I've tripped the land mines, I've watched them, blow my face away. I still can't finish this song. As she sang on...