December Playboy Cover featuring Nude Ann Coulter
By Dood Abides
11/14/2006 07:20:17 AM EST
Ann Coulter bares all this December for Playboy and WILT
Los Angeles, CA (APE) - She's been abhorred for years as the most downrated person on the internet, which means... aw heck, you know what it means. People love retching over Ann Coulter.
What it hasn't meant, all these years, though, as all those thousands of disappointed freepers know, is seeing even one picture of this 18th-century tossup queen without anything strategically covering her.
No longer.
At 44, Coulter, who has been scintillating fans with her own brand of historic revisionism, has posed au natural for Playboy. The December issue, with her on the cover, attacks newsstands Friday. The pages of pictures on the inside leave readers scrambling for imagination.
It was for a good cause, Coulter, almost 45, explained when Associated Press Extraterrestrial caught up with her, fully loathed, at her undisclosed location.
Q: Why now?
Ann Coulter: My decision to do Playboy is literally one week in the making. I've always chided others for taking their clothes off and posed as the girl next door. I'm the number one right-wing talking head, and for years I've been known as "The Queen of Slime", all while keeping my clothes on, and that's taken some real discipline. Every couple of years when Hef would call I would graciously decline, because it would kill that whole androgynous legend that I've got going for me, and I thought that I could maintain the mystery by keeping my clothes on.
But this year, when I got the call from Hef, it was almost my 45th birthday. The Republican party had just received a humpin', so I thought, "Wow... at 45, America doesn't want us anymore?" And I thought it's almost an epiphany... like a "F--- 'em all!" moment. I feel empowered that you can criticize other people's morals and yet still be single, with no children, sexy and confident, and then bare all for the world.
Q: So what's the story on the androgynous deal?
Coulter: I feel proud of myself. I work out really hard, and people will just have to decide for themselves. The reason that I wanted to do it the most is because I am posing for a purpose: a portion of the proceeds from each issue sold is going to my charity.
Q: That would be...?
Coulter: I am the celebrity spokesperson for WILT, the national anti-erectile function association. It stands for Whitebread Ideology Less Tumescence. If you think about it, this last midterm election in which the Republican Party received such a humpin' was all because of this vast priapism of the party over the last six years that resulted in all the scandals. My charity is devoted to wresting control of erections from the parties and putting them back in the hands of voters. Celibacy is not just for Paris Hilton anymore.
KEYWORDS: Ann Coulter, December Playboy, Cindy Margolis, Satire
Join the fun and get yourself a FREE Cortex member account (if you haven't already). It's fast. And it'll allow you to take advantage of all this site's great features!
< The Gods of a Beaten Enemy | Rudy Giuliani In Drag Being Molested by Donald Trump >
Display:
December Playboy Cover featuring Nude Ann Coulter | 3 comments (3 topical, editorial, 0 hidden)
Tips/Flames? (1.00 / 2)
by Dood Abides on 11/14/2006 07:20:51 AM EST
Hey. (1.00 / 2)
I see you were able to cleanly rip off your address label.
Good Work;)
Political Cortex -- Brain Food for the Body Politic
by Tom Ball on 11/14/2006 02:01:18 PM EST
Bonds, Stocks, Pillaries of Justice (none / 1)
Right centerfold -- wrong mag.
S&M Magazine wrapped up Ann and other sexflints in a "monster" mx-page whips and chains spread with Ann as centerfold for Christmas.
It's their "The Women of Abu Graib and Gitmo" edition.
Speaking of which...remember J. Geil's Centerfold from the 80's? I wonder what pimply-faced malevolents actually went to high school with Coulter at New Canaan(CT) High and were just sick enough to dream she'd be a centerfold one day.
PS: By the way, you can see Ann's pre-bulemia amino acids at:
http://photos2.flickr.com/1 881708_180ba7d24f.jpg
No doubt she took up fencing to shish kebob homeless, disgusting Washingtonians. Seems their ranks have grown as they now include Repugs who find themselves between being forced from office and their next lobbying gig.
by FlyCatcher on 11/14/2006 09:28:57 PM EST
December Playboy Cover featuring Nude Ann Coulter | 3 comments (3 topical, 0 editorial, 0 hidden)