How to Help Yourself Feel Really, Really Awful
From a hand out of Barb T. Guidance Counselor Extrodinare!
Lots of people have the ability to feel quite awful. However, to be an expert requires a bit of oranization. You may have a lot of expereince in this area but with practice you could reach expert status, be all that you can be, the ultimate, "doormat". Don't hold back. If you are unsatisfied with the amount of sympathy you're been receiving of late, you may require an added amount of suffering, pain and just plain old misery. It may help to watch Gone With the Wind and practice having the "vapors", a truly lost art. It will assist in this task if you practice the following 16 suggestions for the nest 21 days. You will be surprised how easily you can make these techniques effortless and natural. Soon they will become a basic part of your psonaility. In just a few short weeks, you could hear yourself saying, "It's just the way I am. I can't change. I can't hlep myself, I've always been this way."
1. KNOW THAT OTHERS CAUSE YOUR FEELINGS. If they hadn't done withat they did, You would never feel as you do now. That proves it. They are responsbile for your feelings. Blame them, resent them. (You may be able to get your own way, if you can make them feel responsible for causing your hurt and anger). Assume that they knew that their action would hurt you, therefore they PLANNED and INTENDED to hurt you. This makes them a terrible person and justifies your anger. Teach them a lesson. Straighten them out. Make the world a better place to live.
2. ALWAYS SHOULD ON YOURSELF AND OTHERS. Never miss an opportunity to lay a "should" or "shouldn't" on yourself, your character or yourapperance, what you think, feel, say or do. This will make you appear to e the conscientious sort. It will also remind you that you are not quite OK just as you are. It is a subtle but extremely effedctive to maintain low self-esteem, an excellent misery maker. Perhaps one of the best.
3. CONSTANTLY CRITICIZE YOURSELF. In order to make yourself improve, make it clear to yourself that you don't do anything quite the right way. Nothing is good enough. Assume that you are a problem and will always be that way unless you constantly nag at yourself. Keep your standards higher than anyone else does.
4. CONSTANTLY CRITICIZE OTHERS. Be consistent in your criticism. High standards for everyone Nag everyone so they will have a chance to improve. Create a perfect world all by yourself.
5. DO EVERYTHING PERFECTLY OR NOT AT ALL Everything worth doing is worth doing well, perfectly well. If you can't do something well, do not even think about trying it. Be perfect. Never make a single mistake. (This guarentees that you will retain the joy of doing stuff that is not worth doing. A veritable guarantee of boredom).
6. APOLOGIZE, APLOGIZE. If smeone gets upset or things don't go well, always assume that you either said or did the wrong thing or that there's a basic flaw in your chracter. Feel ashamed for causing all that trouble.
7. PLAY "IF ONLY". When anything bad happens, find something you might have done to change the outcome, "if only" you hadn't done it, thought it, said it, You didn't so you know who is to blame. Take full responsibility. Feel guilty.
8. RESPONSIBILITY; PILE IT ON, THE MORE THE BETTER. It's great to be responsible, so be responsible for their actions, appearance, manners, debts, hmework, laundry etc. Steal responsiblity from them. They don't need it. Make them feel non-responsible. If they don't appriciate all you've done, feel resentment. Go with abused, used, and overworked stressed.
9. MISTAKES. Call yourself "STUPID" every time you discover that you made a mistake. If your mistake is pointed out to you, take it as a rejection of you personally. Be totally upset and offended. You're under attack, so act defensive. Also, be very angry that you weren't told sooner, before you "made a fool of yourself."
10. HAVE A PEOPLE PLEASING PERSONALITY Always try to please others. Be unfailingly polite. Put youreslf last or people won't like you. ALways remember that others are more important than you are. Be modest about your good qualities. Claim that, in fact yo don't have any. (Lie about it, just a little bit.) Put yourself down. Grovel.
11. GOAL SETTING. Make your goals depend on someone else's judgement. If you can't meet their expectations, you have failed and should feel inadequate, incompetent, a real failure. Feel remorseful and ashamed for letting them down.
12. MOTIVATION. Motivate yourself with scary stories about the wful things, which might happen if you don't do what you should do. Frighten yourself into getting on the ball, Create fear, tension, and stress. Worry as much as possible. Complain about how stressful life is.
13. MULTIPLY BY FOREVER. When things are bad, believe that they will always be that way that they will never change. It is important to use words like everybody and nobody. Feel hopeless, helpless and depresssed. Discover the prophet in yourself by predicting how bad it's going to get.
14. INTERPRETATION. Whatever happens, whatever is said, interpret it to mean that you are incompetent, inadequate, stupid or unlovable. Be creative! Distort! Feel rotten!
15. RESENTMENT / FORGIVENESS. If people "hurt" you - be angry, save it up, kep a journal. Keep reminders on file. Be tied to them. Give them the power to upset you. Din't ever get caught without smething to be angry about.
16. ALWAYS SAY "I CAN'T". This will createan immediate disability. You can be powerless, with no control over your life. Be angry about being hopeless and helpless. Bury the anger, don't express it, depression will flow naturally.
