Personal Response to the weeks events
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1. It's official, Rev. Mt.Greenwood is a dork (hereafter refered to as "Rev. DORK" This could have been his second chance, but he blew it
2. Don MacD. has so many friends. It was SO good to see him. I really wish we could have hung out --- but evidently lots of peple like him and also wanna talk to him..... If he has so many Mt. Greenwood friends, why'd they kick him out?? Were they so fickle and yeilding to the will of Danny Boy (aka Mt. Greenwood's Rev. Dork of the '90's)???
3. Diane V.S. is also very cool -- and we got to hang out despite all her friends!!!! She told Dad about her "tattoo" and the halicunigenic drugs! (watch my father flip!) Diane is SO COOL. She knows how to live, how to make friends, she is so interesting and exciting! Stories --- hugs, Ideas and just Diane-ness. (love Diane!)
4. Grandparents are cool.. Papa "gets it" more than my dad does. Pap talked about lots of stuff with us . . . Death, The truth about Mt. Greenwood, Phil told him about his girlfriends (yes PLURAL!) Papa told us about his girlfriends and mother trouble! He told us about proposing to Grandma (and showed us the pix!) and ouse buying It was good. Grandparents are so neat. It was good. Mary Pipher wrote about how special granparets are --- it might be time to reread that book -- esp. in light of Grandpa A.'s death.
5. Grandpa A. was LOVED! Dykstra even started to tear up at the gravesite (who'da thunk he'd have feelings!?!) He teased and Harassed everyone (but we knew that!) of course it was hard to see him in the casket -- I was teary -- so was Jaime. Kris was teary at the end when we filed by to be secluded. I was not worried about being seen crying. In the past I've tried to be stoic -- but I didn't even try this time. Seeing CJ bawling at the wake was good too -- thank you CJ (he's a great nephew -- like me to Uncle Mickey -- I was a little surprised to see him cry -- but I suspect Grandpa took over some of uncle Mickey's Grandfather-ly duties the last couple years when Uncle Mick wasn't able to do it)
Grandpa was pale (coorpes always seem to be pale!) and had lost enough weight to look thin (at least thing for Grandpa!! His suit looked way too big on him.) I was really bothered at how still it (he?) was --- Grandpa was never ever still. If he was sleeping there were BIG breathing movements (or snorring!) I he was day dreaming he'd play with his teeth and if he was awake he was talking, pooking, tickeling, harassing, joking or just having fun with people.
I hate it when people only say good things about people becase they've just died. COME ON they are people with skeltons in their closets too! Anyway Grandpa wasn't perfect. He was stuck in a pepertual rut, was mildly racist --- no prejudice is a better word. But I love him. 12 years ago I had 7 grandparents. Today I have 2.
The peter pan song has some great lines like . . .
"cause growning up means it would be
beneth my dignity to climb a tree
I don't wanna wear a tie
or a serious experssion
in the middle of july
But growing up also means loosing grandparents. I love my nephew - but I don't know if I want him around if it means i have to be "bumped up" a generation (eewwww -- I'm in the "parent" generation --- I don't like that. I want my parents to be PARENTS not grandparents. I want my grandparents to be (stay) grandparents not become great grandparents (they aren't the great grandparnts -- that was Great Grams, and the Boomsa's place!)
I won't grow up
won't grown up
never grown uu-pp
NOT ME!
6. Transition into more negative mode --- Grandma got her nephew (my mom's cousin) to do the funeral (at least it wasn't Rev. DORK - although Rev Dork did do the opening welcome and prayer which made him feel very important. Dykstra helped out with the graveside stuff) He did OK -- better than Rev. Dork or Dykstra has done in the past, but . . . .. . but
1st of all - when the family met to view the body and coffin and stuff -- he read from Corthians --
Behold I tell you a mystery
we shall not sleep, but we shall all be changed
In a moment (duh de duh)
In the twinkling of an eye (de de de)
At the last trumpet (da da de DA da da de DA)
(Which of couse is from the Messiah (no -- the bible stole it from Handel - not handel from the bible!!) It sounds so much better Handles' way! And if a reader doesn't line up his pauses with Handles chords, it's wrong - - and he did it wrong - but that's really irrelevant!!)
He kept looking over at the Grandkids (we were all off to the side. I thought he was looking at me (because I was teary, and Jaime was next to me crying as well) but Jon and Kris both said they thought he was looking at them.
After he finished and prayed. He talked to grandma a bit - general small talk to make her giggle and tell good stories. Then he small talked with the kids and their spouses (our parents and aunts and uncles) but he never came over to talk to any of the grandkids. It's not like we were inaccessable -- we were in te chairs taling to each other just off the "receiving line" trying to be appropriate.
A couple of old Mt. Greenwood people came over to talk and express sympathy. Aunt Pearl, "Norma's Grandma", The Klooses, --- one would think they preacher guy would at least come by and chat (esp. after staring at us while reading and praying!) If for nothing else, just to hang out and have fun (we are a lot-o-fun -- who else would turn Miller's Stufed bunny into a talking communist puppet that battles the jiving hom boy Pooh bear from "da 100 acre hood")
Rev. Dork didn't talk to us either when he came to the visitation. Technically I'm a member of his church (so is Andy) - I haven't been to services in years at Mt. Greenwood, so he has an excuse for ignoring me. BUT He BAPTISED Andy's kid last month -- you'd think he'd at LEAST talk to ANDY and Jaimie!!!
I think they are all scared of us
I am no longer scared of "them" and have very little respect for them (they start out with basic human respect but as I watch them the "respect-o-meter" drops down and down and down)
Don and Diane were open to discussion, debate, and flat out arguments. Why don't I call them up and argue with them?? I don't know - maybe I like being confused. . . .
I've been reading / thinking (maybe even praying) Madeline L'Engles LOVE LETTER a lot the last few weeks -- and I"m wonderinf if I'm having answers with somethings --- like seeing things I"ve thought about on line and having other people say what I"m thinking. (OIn ginkworld, 11-10, etc.)
When "Rev. Mom's Cousin" mentioned about "Believing in Geroge Washington as President" my ear perked up -- I was ready and I thought "THIS IS IT!" But it wasn't. he posed the probalem, but never answered it - instead he said something about trust and then added trust to the already confusing issue of faith (but I trust my history info for the most part -- even when it is wrong and we find out Geroge Washington was a terrible leader) And then he confused things more with thte airport anaolgy (Believing a friend will pick you up won't make them show up) good point - but I don't see how that fits, and I "believe" in the placebo effect (not quite applicable to the airport example but it defiately applies to his point) -- BELIEVEING CAN MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!! I think it was am MLE book (Accectable time??) that someone said you have to "Believe in order to see". On one hand I understand, but I don't know how to apply all of it -- I feel like I"m debating the abstract to fine points without no purpose. . . .
Then He went off onto the ABC's of salvation (they need to re-think that because ADMIT and CONFESS are synomyms even if they are used in different ways) I purposely started to day dream (I looked for patterns in the wall paper -- there is a birdcage haning fron one of the trees -- COOL!!! Anyone who tries to convert a person or do an altar call at a funeral should be shot! People are sad, EMOTIONAL, tired, and in no condition to decide the state of their mortal soul. It makes me mad (I read that if someone wants to become jewish - the rabi has to turn them away three times - so the convert can prove he really wants to become jewish - - christianity on the other hand just wants folks to "sign the deal". I would consider becoming Jewish for percisely this reason - but I like to eat cheeseburgers with milkshakes and beef stroganoff, and ham dinners!!!
7.) I NEED TO BE ALONE
I need a little solitude everyday -- it's just part of me and who I am. I could feel it SO MUCH yestrerday (& that half hour ALONE at Borders completely recharged me!) Even at night I couldn't be alone - sleeping right next to Kristie (With Jon and Phil 10 feet away in the hall!)
They don't have to understand, but I wish they would respect it when I say " I NEED TO BE ALONE" instead of making fun of me. I had a lot of brilliant ideas, thoughts and stuff that desperately eeded to be written down -- I had my journal with me too - but there was no time or space to write (unless I stayed up late or woke up early -- but sleep was precious too!) The one time I did try to sneak off Jim stared making fun of me with "dear diary . .. " quotes from the Brady Bunch (not an enviroment conducive to puting down anything of importance.
8. I find it very humerous that a funeral home has a webstie I'm sure it is useful for directions and maps, and such, but it still makes me giggle. (Using a digital camera to take pictures of the flower arrangements is a terriffic idea, I know Grandma was really touched by that!)
That is all -- I am wore out
7/13/02
In Loving Memory of
Paul Alkema, Jr.
May 28, 1925 - July 9, 2002
Madeleine L'Engle Funeral Quotes
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