This is my stuff. I wrote it, so please don't use it. Obviousally I cannot stop you from cutting and pasting it somewhere, nor will I ever know. But please consider what my work means to me. Peotry is ones soul speaking a persons innermost thoughts. If for some reason you do have to use something, just write and ask me. I am usually pretty agreeable, and will probably let you. I really only intended this stuff for friends reading, and the occasional wanderer. But if you do need to use something, just ask. Otherwise, please just enjoy.
As I lay upon my cotton white sheets
I feel as though I am dirtying them,
The filth upon my soul creates stains upon my pristine bed
Yet I lie there anyways,
Ignoring my filth,
and impurity.
do not belong here,
And yet for some reason I stay
I pass away the days of my life.
I spend my time, by myself
And I do not care.
The world has shown me it's darker side
and so I give it no compassion in return
I take the punches of everyday life
and I roll with them
I take it all, and give out none
My only regret is within my heart
That I have never loved
The heart is an organ of fire
wielding it's powerful flame
And I am overcome
Engulfed
I have never known the emotion of true compassion
It has never been shown to me
I live through my days
I show no opinion
I live, until I die
I don't fear death, for it will not hurt
I don't care
The world is left with a greater indifference
I spend my time, by myself
And I do not care.
All the way in, or all the way out
At the top, or at the bottom, never in between
Wars are fought, and one side wins
There is no compromise
People live, or people die
I can’t help them
They are on their own
What should happen, will happen
There are no surprises
Either laughter, or crying
It is all the same
To me
I am born, I live, I die
Should it matter what goes on, Inside those bounds?
I know not what it is to be
happy
Nor what it means to be
sad
I know no emotions.
Birth to death, beginning to end,
start to finish
It is all coinciding
No God, no love, no hate.
I am dead on the inside
I am gone,
escaped from this world of color
Into my world of black and white
I live...I die...Who cares...
Not me.
Internal battles just waiting to be fought
I fight them for the sake of the fight
Not because I want to
Not because I have to
But just because they are there
Beckoning to me
I battle against the unknown
As I battle to free myself
To be freed from the arms of hatred
And go running to the arms of love
But I am stopped
Stopped by a force much larger than I
Fear
Fear of rejection
And a fear of myself
I become transparent Allowing the light to pass through
I become open to the world and all of its pain
A world which I despise
I try to escape but again I am blocked
This time by a force so powerful
There is only one thing that can defeat it
The power of Love
Love can destroy all
Just as Love heals all it touches
I need Love
All I want now is Love
To escape from myself
And to assume a new identity
To disguise myself from all else
Except Love
To hide away my bitterness
To open up to a loved one
I need Love
Just as the desert needs the rain
And as I need to breathe
I need to be loved
I need its healing powers to wash over me
To cleanse my soul and to mend my heart
To help me fight the battles
In which I alone would falter
Love can help me
Love can heal me
Please
Hypocrites,
Condemning others
while they
Should be condemning
themselves.
dancing, spinning, swaying,
following the numbered footprints upon the floor
right toe forewards, left heel back,
yet not really knowing how to Dance.
to Dance is to hear the Music,
to feel the music pulsating through your soul
to move with the beat, hearing no other.
moving and spinning to the one beautiful sound
yet the left toe down, right foot back movement knows the steps,
but doesn't know how to Dance.
a person can keep the beat
yet can they really hear the Music?
I love the way that she makes me feel
all warm and fuzzy on the inside
whenever I am with her I cannot help but smile
For as I see her, she is smiling too.
And that is how I want it to stay
to bottle up the moments when we are near and
to save them until she is gone
and then,
all I have to do is
remove the lid from a bottle and I will be with her;
transposed my sadness into joy
She is my light
burning on a fuel left unknown to the world...
She allows me to shine brighter then ever before
and to feel as I have never felt.
My heart is left to her, to use to her discretion,
for I trust her.
As the maidens are thorns amidst the water,
my sweet is the lily.
She is her own beautiful being, and is not
afraid to show it.
At times she becomes self doubtful,
and as Judas kissed one he loved,
So do her thoughts to her.
But it is all in vain,
Her mind deceives her,
Luring her into a false world, in which she lives.
In reality,
She is utopian,
The supreme goddess of my heart.
She is my sweet, and I adore her.
She hangs not upon my arm,
but ventures forth to lead me,
To lead me away from the
stereotypical,
manacle relationship.
And into a better one.
I am better, because of her.
Eternities are days, just as days are eternities,
When I am with her,
Just let me be with her
Self induced agony wrought from the hands of pain
Leave your life, to be left behind, take a more superior aim
From the fatal loins of betrothen mistakes
The course of life set behind, undress your prayers to fate
Life remains above the stars, up in a much higher mold
Set the bind, release the grasp upon the ending hold
To shape the world, in which we live, is to set an infinite must
Draw your sword, kill for peace, then deliver the final thrust
Have no hope for the light is here to take the last good-bye
Take your life, in your hands and cast it towards the sky.
Crying, dying, lying here
Can't you see that I am in pain
Weeping on the inside
I have hidden away my sorrow
Left it inside
I feel my life slipping away
And there is nothing I can do
I can feel the hands of time
Stripping my existance of opportunities
I am dying
And I am on my own
As I leave my life behind
To move on
To a better place,
I bid you farewell.
Night Falls as the day still breaks
Into the living my soul is sent
Creating the picture, a colorful make
Openly to the scene my heart is lent
Leaving my soul with a desolate ache
Easing that of the time past spent
Tapered ankles, determined legs,
Petite breasts, empty stomach,
Retouched lips, reshaped nose,
Colored eyes, tinted hair.
Learned walk, starved mind,
Forced smile, hidden tears,
Plastered with age defying makeup
To assure the hidden years.
Prices paid for money earned
Sacrifices made to keep the press
Is any of it worth it
Since you're dying for your success?
We’ve walked along the sands, and out to the sea,
We’ve dipped our toes in the ocean, just you and me
We’ve watched the sun go down, and stayed up all night
We’ve laid awake until the first morning light
But as always, the best cannot be
Refrain
And then you were gone
So far Away
My sweet serenity
Was taken today
I once was lost, then with you I was found
And now I search for the reasons,
For my common Ground
The Lord will give, and then the Lord will Take
And when we confuse the two, our hearts will break
I search for the place, where I shall know
Where the mysteries of life, will lay unrolled
And In the middle lies, my many mistakes
Refrain
We’ve stayed up all night, just lying around
Looking for the mysteries, yet to be found
And with you I was whole, but now I am half
I should have known that the best cannot last
And I will see you again, On the common Ground
Refrain
My life consists of razor blades
Of bleeding wrists, and darkened shades
A life with out pain is a life unknown
Lived in isolation with no one to condone
Lived by the blade of a fiery death
When the end only finds,
there is nothing left
Burning on its own with no power to concieve
The outside world, with only lies and deciet
Dying for death and a death but for dying
A life for giving and a gift of crying
Slowly now as I commence my fall
To anyone who will listen I proclaim my call
I have not done much in my life, the whole way through
If you have a choice, please, do not as I do
I am filthy,
Uncleansable,
Dirty,
Used,
Wasted,
Untouchable,
Broken,
Soiled,
Foul and Unclean.
And I love you too much to let you love me
I say goodbye,
And please be careful.
You tell me not to worry,
That everything will be all right.
But I see the fear in your eyes,
The fear that you convinced yourself was gone.
And there is nothing I can do.
I ask you to stay,
Once,
Twice,
And yet again you say you must go.
And yet neither of us knows why.
You run from yourself.
You find your sanctuary in unsafe places.
Without realizing what you have here.
You don’t need to run,
And yet you convince yourself that you do.
So I say goodbye,
And turn quickly to walk away,
So that you will not see the tears in my eyes.
I walk away,
Refusing to turn back.
For I do not want you to see how I am.
I fear for you,
I care for you,
I am praying for you,
And I want you to realize what is best.
No my love,
I will let go, and say goodbye,
But as much as I care,
Please don’t ask me not to worry,
For I cannot promise that.
P
I
T
Y
I don't want it,
Not from you,
Not from anyone.
If you are going to talk to me,
Let it be because you want to,
If you say you will dance with me,
Let it be because you want to,
I don't want your sympathy,
I don't want your empty invitations,
I can get by without them.
If you are going to be with me,
Let it be because you want to.
Not because you feel sorry for me.
So if pity is what you offer.
Please do me a favor;
and go away.
What is it that you want?
Do you want me,
Or do you want to change me?
I don't want to be changed,
I like who I am now,
But if you like who I could be,
Maybe I will try that out,
Just for now,
If you like it.
Do you like me?
Don't you like my friends?
Why not?
I love you,
Don't you love me?
I will be there for you?
I won't go out tonight,
Nor tomorrow.
I will wait for your phone call.
I will wait for you,
Because you say that you love me.
And I believe you.
Your words hurt me,
I don't like it when you yell at me.
Please stop.
Wait a second,
I am sorry,
I made you mad,
So you yelled.
I promise to be better next time,
I wont screw up again.
Then you wont be mad,
And you wont yell.
I will change,
So that you wont yell,
I will change,
I promise.
Certainly not me
Scanning items with a fake smile,
I work at the local grocery store.
Not even looking up in between customers,
just greeting, scanning and bagging.
I ask you how you are doing,
with out removing my eyes from the register.
I hear your soft voice, and it intrigues me
So I look up.
As I see your bright brown eyes, returning my glance,
my voice quivers slightly as I search for something to say;
“Would you like paper or plastic?”
But even as I say it,
I mentally slap myself at my stupidity.
I feel a tingling sensation in my body, as the pace of my blood quickens
Like when you are out in the cold, and working up a sweat.
That feeling right before the sweat starts,
Like every pore in your body is gaping wide open, and it tingles,
It also itches like hell, which is why I am uncomfortable.
Yet you seem not to notice.
You say that you do not need a bag for your purchase,
A pack of gum,
And as you hand me the coins to pay,
You hand touches mine for just a moment longer then necessary,
Causing me to look into your eyes again,
And yet again feel completely lost.
You pick up your purchase from the counter, and while holding our gaze,
You turn and walk away.
I watch you as you go,
And just before you turn the corner to leave,
you look back
And for another miraculous moment, our eyes meet,
And then you are gone,
And I don’t even know your name.
Back to the main screen
