“Oh, hey Kris. Glad ya caught me,” he said.
“Um..yeah. How have you been?” she said trying to stay calm. Shelly and Julie both walked out and joined Kristina. They were beginning to wonder who was on the other line that made Kristina so nervous.
“Oh. I’ve been good.”
“That’s nice to hear,” she said. She began to mouth his name to the girls who in turn became a little shocked.
“Look, I was just calling to ya know catch up on old times. I’ve been thinking about you lately and was kind of wondering…” He was interrupted by someone calling Kristina’s other line.
“Sorry, hold that thought. I’ll be right back.” She switched over and heard noises in the background. “Hello?”
“Kris, it’s me JC.”
Kristina dropped the phone. Shelley immediately picked up assuming it was one of the guys. “Hello?”
“Shel? Oh, I thought you were Kris,” he said confused.
“Heh. It was Kris. She just had to answer the door and the knocking was getting a little irritating,” she said hoping he would buy into her little lie.
“Oh ok. Well tell her we all say hi and that we’ll be arriving in Hawaii soon. Just wanted to say hi, that’s all.”
“Alright. Well I’ll tell her. Julie says hi too. Come back soon. Tell Justin I miss him already,” Shelly said.
“Hey, It’s me again. Sorry ya had to wait. I had to finish something for Shelley. That’s why she was on the phone with ya.”
“Oh, ok then. That’s cool,” he said. “So what have you been up to…”
The conversation lasted for another hour. So far he hadn’t mentioned anything about JC and that was a little less stressful on Kristina’s behalf. There was silence a few times through the conversation making both feel a little uneasy. It was finally nearing its end when Cory asked the dreaded question.
“Hey, Kris, before I leave I just wanted to ask you something,” he said sounding a little hesitant.
“Um..ok. Go ahead.” She knew what was coming and began to regret allowing him to continue.
“Well I was wondering if you’re seeing anyone right now? The thought came to mind when a friend mentioned your name and so I was just curious.”
“No,” she said thinking if that was a smart move.
“Oh good. I mean…forget it. Well I should be going now. I’ll talk to you some other time. Maybe I’ll see ya at school.”
“Um…yeah ok. Bye.” She hung up. She plopped down onto the couch beside her. Julie came around handing her a glass of water.
“That was the most nerve-racking hour of my life.”
“He asked you didn’t he?” Shelley asked sitting on top of the table facing me.
“Yep and the first thing that came out of my mouth was no. How dumb was that. It sounded as if I wanted him to ask me out. I am so confused,” she said digging her face into her pillow.
“It’s ok Kris. We won’t be seeing him until school starts up again so block him out of your mind. Hey, can we swing by Justin’s? I left something over there,” Shelley said.
“Actually let’s go. I need to pick something up too,” Kristina said remembering what JC had said earlier at the airport. “But wait. Can we do it another day? I need to rest and clear my head.” Shelley and Julie agreed and stayed home all night.
“Hey, Shel. What did Justin give you?” Kristina asked.
“What?” She asked confused.
“I saw him throw something at you earlier at the airport and I was wondering what he gave you.”
“Oh well this,” she said taking a necklace out from underneath her shirt. It was a silver chain and had a small heart on it. “I really like it.”
“Obviously. Girl that thing is beautiful,” Julie said taking a closer look at it.
Several days later, the girls remembered to go to Justin’s. After breakfast the three decided to leave for an early start. They brought some things with them to stay overnight instead of driving back to the apartment. Besides, Justin said it was okay for them to be there. They went to the parking structure and got into Julie’s car. The whole ride over there was pretty silent. Each one thinking about something, or someone. They reached Justin’s house and unloaded their bags. Kristina was the first at the door with Julie and Shelley following. She was about to unlock the door when something stopped them. There was a car honking across the street. Young fans, around Justin’s age, stepped out and approached the girls.
“Hi, do you live here?” one of them asked.
“No, not exactly,” Shelley said hesitantly.
“Oh, then why do you have a key?” another one of them asked.
“Because…” Julie said.
“Well, to tell ya the truth, we sort of live here,” she said proceeding to open the door. She was so set to get what JC had left for her.
“What do you mean, sort of?” the third one asked flatly.
“What she means is, we’re over here so often that we call this our other home,” Shelley said trying so hard not to say this was Justin’s house.
“Are you NSYNC's girlfriends?” the girls asked.
“No.” they all said in unison. Shelley knew Justin didn’t want the public to know yet.
“They why are you all here? Aren’t they in Hawaii now?”
“Actually, they are in Hawaii. And why we are here is none of you business. We’re over here to pick up some things and we’re staying here overnight so we don’t have to drive back home. Now if you would be so kind as to leave the property, we can go on our way,” Shelley said walking inside the open door. Julie soon followed after her. Kristina waited till their car left and walked inside. It wasn’t everyday that the girls encountered fans at the guy’s house.
“Kris, you’ll have JC’s room, like always, I’ve got Joey and Lance’s. Shel had Justin’s,” Julie said heading up the stairs.
“Okay,” Kristina said starting in the direction of the den. She reached for the knob when the phone started ringing. “Ugh. Keep ringing,” she yelled out to the phone.
“Hello?” she said sounding bit irritated.
“There you are!”
“Hi, JC,” she said.
“Why are you over there?” he asked.
“I had to get that something you left for me,” she said.
“Oh yeah. Okay. Well we just called your apartment and no one was home so we tried here. We found you. So how are you?”
“Good, I guess. I don’t know, just really confused.”
“Let me guess. About the whole Cory thing?”
“Yep. He called the day you left for Hawaii. He was leaving a message on the machine and I picked up before he hung up and we just talked for a while.”
“Oh,” he was getting quiet.
“JC, I don’t know what I’m going to do and I’m scared.”
“Kris, listen to me. Do whatever your heart tells you to do. Don’t be scared. I’ll always be here for you when you need me.”
“I know and thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Hey, can you get Shelley on the phone? Justin wants to talk to her.”
“Yeah sure.” She called Shelley and went to the den to get what JC left for her.
She opened the den door and smelled JC’s cologne still in the room. She walked over to the bed and looked underneath the pillow. Underneath was a sealed envelope with her name on it. She took it and stretched out on the bed. Soon she found herself falling asleep forgetting she had the letter in her hand. She was too confused about the Cory and JC ordeal. Hours later she heard knocking coming from the door.
“Kris? Are you in there? Come out, we’re going to get a bite to eat?” Shelley called.
Kristina awoke from her little nap and proceeded to walk to the door sticking the letter in her jacket pocket. “Yeah I’ll be out in a few minutes. I just have to fix up some things in here.”
“Okay, we’ll meet you in the living room.”
A few minutes later, Kristina came out. The three girls headed out to a local fast food restaurant and ordered some hamburgers. The lunch was quaint and didn’t have much conversation happening until Kristina pulled out the letter.
“Kris, you know you going to let us read that,” Julie said.
“I don’t even know if I want read what he wrote in this letter,” Kristina said.
“Well when we get back to Justin’s, you should read it, then tell us what’s in it.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll do that.” With that said, the three returned to their lunch. A bit more conversation was held, but nothing too important was really said. After lunch they all retreated back to Justin’s house.
Kristina went straight to the den and sat on JC’s bed. She opened the envelope, unfolded the pages and began reading.
Dear Kristina,
Trying Too Hard
I really don’t know why I’m doing this but I will
I’ll wait as long as I have to for you, for your love
Chorus:
You may not think you’re perfect in your eyes
(Repeat chorus)
And now that I must got for a little while
(Repeat chorus 3x)
It didn’t take too long to write that for you and only for you. My feelings for you will never change and I will hang on to these feelings for as long as I can. Take care.
With Love, Always,
Kristina was in tears after reading the letter. She walked out to the living room but didn’t see Shelley or Julie. She heard noises upstairs and headed in that direction. She stopped right at the bottom of the stairs and remembered the kiss she and JC shared on Christmas; more tears streamed down her face. Kristina finally made it to Shelley’s room where she and Julie were playing with Justin’s Playstation.
“Oh, hun, what’s wrong?” Shelley asked dropping the controller.
“I just…I just finished reading the letter JC wrote for me,” she said waving it in the air.
“Oh yeah. What did he write?” Julie asked.
“Well..take a look for yourself.” She gave the letter to Julie, who sat next to Shelley. The two began reading aloud and soon after the room was quiet.
Kristina walked over to the bed and lay down on her stomach facing the other two.
“Whoa, Kris. This is serious with him, huh?” Julie said motherly.
“Yeah I guess so. I don’t know what to think anymore. I mean, I really care about JC. I never knew he thought about me like this. Enough to write a song for me, well not for me, about me.”
The three sat in silence again when the phone rang. “Haven’t we gotten enough damn phone calls already?” Kristina asked irritated.
“Hello!”
“Uh, yeah. Hello to you to Kris.”
“Oh, hey Chris. Um…I’m sorry about that. I’m just a little confused right now. I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok. Audrey wanted to talk to you so here she is,” Chris said.
“Hey Kris,” she said. “Something’s wrong and I want to know what it is RIGHT now.”
“Whoa, ok. You know me all too well,” Kristina said shocked. “Yes something is wrong, but I would be more comfortable telling you when you get back. Okay?”
“I guess so, I mean I wouldn’t want to be worrying about you while I’m here in Hawaii.”
“Okay good. Actually I want all of you to hear what I have to say so I’ll wait till you all come back,” Kristina said.
“Cool. Well I have to go. We are going jet skiing so I’ll see you in a week. Bye babe!”
The two hung up and Kristina plopped down on the bed.
This has got to end. I love JC, but Cory is such a great guy, and I miss him a lot. But I know in my heart what to do. I’m going to choose…
“We’re going downstairs. Coming?” Shelley asked waking Kristina from her little thought.
“Yeah.”
The three went downstairs leaving Kristina without a solution.
Why I’m writing this to you, I couldn’t start to explain. I can’t make myself fall asleep, so I’m going to tell you these things.
I care about you A LOT. I haven’t felt this way before. It’s tough, I have to wait to be with you since you’re 17. But I’ll wait as long as I have to. I don’t know how you feel about me, but I’m taking the risk of scaring you away to tell you my feelings.
We are leaving for Hawaii tomorrow. I won’t be able to see you for two weeks. You’re such an amazing person. I don’t know how I can repay you for just being yourself. There are certain things I can’t really explain on paper but soon you’ll know what I’m talking about.
What else can I tell you? I get more and more confused. Am I trying too hard? I can’t get over you. You are the best thing to come into my life. So I wrote this song to try and best explain what I’m feeling right now.
Written By: JC Chasez
(Note: My friend wrote this song. SO don’t go looking for this song! LoL)
It’s four in the am, baby, and I need to say a few things
I’m not about to lie to you; all I can do is be straight with you
I never felt this way before and it’s starting to scare me
Because I don’t want to pass up this opportunity
I’m taking a chance, I know it’s true and I’ll said it again
I’ll wait forever just for you to love me
And now that I must go for a little while
I just have to tell you this so I can sleep at night
You’re a great person; you never cease to amaze me
So help me, baby, help me to set these feelings right
You’ve been there for me through so much
And I want to be there for you to even the score
There are certain things I can’t really explain
But soon enough you’ll know so much more
What else can I tell you?
We’d be close one day, then apart the next
Then you kiss me and I don’t know what else to expect
I know you felt something when we kissed
Am I trying too hard? I can’t get over your perfectness
But believe it or not you are the best thing to come into my life
I love the way you look, the way you smile when you look at someone
The way your eyes shine when you’re up to something
Little things like the way you mess around with everyone, your laugh
For I hope for so much more than just to hold you near
I’d give you everything, wipe away your tears
As I sit here patiently, awaiting an answer here
And it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way
I just hope maybe you’ll love me someday
I just have to tell you this so I can sleep at night
You’re a great person; you never cease to amaze me
So help me, baby, help me to set these feelings right
JC
To Be Continued….