I'm a policeman, Oh why? you may ask. It's not that the pay is well worth the task. It's something deep down, it's something inside. It's not just a job where you're there for the ride. The dangers we face, we know they're for real. But it's not just a job, it's something you feel.
We're out on the beat, it's late at night. This is the time when families fight. Shouting and cursing, then comes a hit. A loud screaming child, a mad raging fit. We come on the scene there's not a set play. We have to assess with our fears pushed away.
There's darting eyes and another door. Can we see all the people or are there more? A bang and a crash come from the back. Is someone else there to take a crack? We take control but it's never easy. The mess and the people can make you fell queasy. We return to the beat and hope it's all right. But we know we'll be back for the very next fight.
A stop light runner and a simple chase. But we never know really what we may face. Another bad drunk? A kid on a high? Or something much worse to give us a try? We can't take it easy, we can't take a chance. Always a new tune, always a new dance.
There's racial tensions and rights to uphold. We have to show patience but yet appear bold. It's easier to say that "all must be fair." When you're not on the street, when you're not the one there. Those feelings of pressure we must put aside. With our actions up front and keeping our pride.
It's harder on family than it is on me. Their imagined worst fears are all that they see. I'm on the job and handling it well. But they're safe at home imagining hell. When the telephone rings and it's late at night. They wake in a sweat with a terrible fright. But their awful thoughts I must leave at the station. 'Cause they might dull my senses and force hesitation.
So why do I do it? Where is the joy? There's people who smile, a found little boy. There's laughter and friendship with people who care. There's knowing a difference just 'cause we're there. There's sunshine and sadness and having the nerve. To get up each morning and say that "I serve."
John T. Sutton, March 1988, Dallas, Texas
ABBY, UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL!
1. You have the right to remain motionless, or you may elect to run away from me.
2. Should you decide to run, I shall direct my K-9 to chase you down to the ends of the earth.
3. You have the right to have your attorney run with you. Should he refuse, a recent law school graduate will be appointed by the court to jog along with you.
4. If while running you suddenly decide to end the race, beware that my K-9 may or may not understand your intentions, and may continue his pursuit of you in full stride.
5. You may stop running at any time at your own risk.
6. Good luck. On your mark, get set...GO!
That's me at far left, my friend Heather at center, and Joel at right.
Tim, A motorist, habitually booked for speeding goes to heaven. On arrival at the check-in desk, he sees that everyone is driving around in sports cars. He asks St Peter about this and is told, "You can pick one up at the next gate, just tell the angel what color you want." He asks about speed limits and learns that there is a 50 mph limit throughout the kingdom of heaven. "So tell me," he says, "Do you have any State Troopers here?" St Peter replies "State Troopers - in heaven? Of course not!" Just then the guy sees a fully dressed Mustang, with forward and rear radar guns, pull in and set up behind a large cloud. He goes back to St Peter and says, "I thought you said there were no Troopers here?", pointing at the Mustang. "Oh him," says St Peter.."That's God - he just thinks he's a State Trooper"...
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Police Limit© by Garey McKee. To see more, go to:
One Friday afternoon, this guy drives down a highway to visit a nearby lake and relax. On his way to the lake, one guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway gestures him to stop. Our guy rolls down the window:
"How can I help you?"
"I am the red bastard of the asphalt, you got something to eat?"
With a smile in his face, he hands one of his sandwiches to the red dressed guy and drives away. Not even five minutes thereafter he comes across another guy. This time the guy is dressed fully in yellow, standing on the side and waving him to stop. A bit irritated our guy stops, cranks down the window:
"What can I do for you?"
"I am the yellow bastard of the asphalt, you got something to drink?"
Hardly managing to smile this time, he hands to the guy a can of Coke and takes off again. In order to make it to the lakeside before sunset he decides to go faster and not to stop no matter what. To his frustration he sees another guy on the side, dressed all in blue, making a hand signal to stop him. Not quite willing, our guy decides to stop a last time, rolls his window down and yells to the guy:
"So, you blue bastard of the asphalt, what you wanna have?"
"Driver license and registration please."
WHAT IS A POLICE OFFICER?
A police officer is a composite of what all men are, a mingling of the saint and sinner, dust and deity.
Culled statistics wave the fan over the stinkers, underscore the instances of dishonesty and brutality because they are "news". What that really means is that they are the exceptional, unusual and not commonplace.
Buried under the froth is the fact: Less than one-half of one percent of all officers misfit that uniform.
That is a better average than clergymen.
What is an officer made of? He, of all men, is at once the most needed and the most unwanted.
He is a strangely nameless creature who is "sir" to his face and "pig" behind his back.
He must be such a diplomat that he can settle differences between individuals so that each will think that he has won.
BUT......
If the policeman is neat, he is conceited; if he is careless, he is a bum.
If he is pleasant, he is a flirt; if not he is a grouch.
He must make in an instant the decisions which would require months for a lawyer.
BUT.....
If he hurries, he is careless; if he is deliberate, he is lazy.
He must be first to an accident and infallible with a diagnosis. He must be able to start breathing, stop bleeding, tie splints and above all make sure the victim goes home without a limp, or expect to be sued.
The police officer must know every gun, draw on the run, and hit where it doesn't hurt.
He must be able to whip two men twice his size and half his age without damaging his uniform and without being "brutal".
If you hit him, he is a coward, if he hits you, he is a bully.
A police officer must know everything -- and not tell.
He must know where all the sin is -- but he cannot partake.
The policemen must from a single human hair, be able to describe the crime, the weapon and the criminal -- and then tell you where he is hiding.
BUT......
If he catches a criminal , he is lucky; If he doesn't, he is a dunce.
If he gets promoted, he has political pull; if he doesn't he is dullard.
The policeman must chase bum leads to a dead end, stake out ten nights in a row to tag one witness who saw it happen -- but refuses to remember.
He files and writes reports until his eyes ache to build a case against some felon who'll get dealed out by a shameless shamus or an "honorable"who isn't.
The police officer must be a minister, a social worker, a diplomat, a tough guy and a gentleman.
And of course he will have to be a genius...
For he'll have to do in all on a policeman's salary.
IOWA TROOPER
Two men are driving through Iowa when they get pulled over by a State Trooper. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?" The cop answers, "You're in Iowa son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car." The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here."
The cop runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick.
The passenger asks, "What'd you do that for?" The cop says, "Just making your wish come true." The passenger asks, "Making what wish come true?" The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say to your buddy, "I wish that a**hole would've tried that s*it with me!"
How to handle a Traffic stop.....
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too.
