Small Town Life

Yes these are forwards but they're darn funny. Some of the stuff that goes on in small towns:

You know you're from Iowa when:
1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going to Des Moines for the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
6. You use a down comforter in the summer.
7. Your parents or grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as deer meat, beer, corn, and soy nuts.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
12. There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the corner store at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.
16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter? still winter? construction.
17. It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.

You Might Be From A Small Town If.........

1. You can name everyone you graduated with.
2. You know what 4-H is.
3. You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road.
4. You used to drag "main."
5. You said the 'f' word and your parents knew within the hour.
6. You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't---same goes with the game warden.
7. You ever went cow-tipping or snipe hunting.
8. School gets canceled for state sporting events.
9. It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
10. You had senior skip day.
11. You can't help but date a friend's ex-girlfriend.
12. Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
13. The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snooty", but is actually just like your town.
14. Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise.
15. You bragged to your friends because you got pipes on your truck for your birthday
16. Anyone you want can be found at either the school parking lot or Amoco.
17. You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town.
18. Football coaches suggest that you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
19. Directions are given using "the" stop light as a reference.
20. Your letter jacket was worn after your 19th birthday.
21. Weekend excitement involves a trip to the neighboring town.
22. Even the ugly people enter beauty contests.
23. You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a ride.
24. Your teachers call you by your older siblings names.
25. Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
26. You can charge at all the local stores.
27. It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.
28. You can drive golf carts, 4 wheelers, and go carts in town.
29. When someone gets pulled over the whole town drives by at least twice.
30. Everyone else hears it on their scanners.
31. You have ever partied with a guy who is 25, has no job, but is the 'buyer' for all of the best parties.
32. Almost everyone in your school also has a cousin in your school.
33. Your only newspaper was a weekly.
34. It doesn't take much to amuse you.
35. Your town has more gas stations then grocery stores.
36. Your summer swimming was often done in a farm pond.
37. You don't know what you're doing, but someone else does.