Things to Ponder
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"?
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
- Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
- Why does goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- What do you call male ballerinas?
- Why ARE Trix only for kids?
- If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
- If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
- Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your tush?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out
the window?