Top 10 things Daniel will never say

10. Archaeology has only ever been another way of earning a crust.

9. Didn't you know? I only wear these glasses 'cos they make me look adorable. (Don't they ever... *drool*)

8. Yeah, topless jelly wrestling!!!

7. *After Jack has had a go at him for using archaeological jargon* Bite me!

6. *At any of the gorgeous women he invariably meets off-world* Hey baby. How 'bout coming back to my place so we can rock the casbah?

5. Y'know, when you think about it, Apophis isn't such a bad guy really. He's more... misunderstood.

4. Well, it's obvious that talking's not doing any good. I vote that we just blow them up then blow this popstand.

3. *At any of the gorgeous etc.* Sweeeeet! Work it baby, yeah!!

2. Guess what!! I'm giving up coffee!!

Drum roll please...

1. *After being whumped* F*** **** **** Oooooowwwwww!!!!! **** Sh** ****!!! Jesus f****** Christ!! That bl**** well hurt!!!

Top 10 out-of-the-ordinary things I'd like Daniel to do

(Just because I can)

10. Learn karate and kick everyone's butt next time there's a fight of some sort.

9. Actually get a life!

8. Not have a clue about someting ancient - and there's still nothing there when he get's his brains sucked out ala 'Fire & Water.'

7. Go to a costume party dressed as Dame Edna Everidge (I'd pay good money to see that! Hell, I'd paybad money to see that!).

6. Get totally blotto and try to crack onto Maybourne.

5. Go for five episodes running without being physically or emotionally injured - it can be done!

4. Drink himself legless and confess his undying adoration for Jack.

3. Do the pigeon (Oh, you don't watch 'Sesame Street.' Whoops).

2. Be possessed by the Goa'uld of free love, and insist on practising what he preaches.

Drum roll please...

1. Wear his bloody glasses!!!

Any comments or suggestions...?

© Dan 2000