Yes, I realise that just about every page has it's own list of quotes... Too bad, now there's another one - main difference being this one is listed by subject rather than ep. And believe me, it took me some time to think up suitable subject names. There's now quotes for quite a few eps from the first season, and there'd be more if some moronic avenger had returned the videos on time...

About Face!

Jack: Should I start the debriefing Sir?
Hammond: That would be a good idea Colonel.
Daniel: Now, just wait a minute!
Hammond: Dr Jackson, you're wasting your breath. You've already won the argument.
Daniel: But I have to insist that you... Wha-, wha-, wha-, what? I've already won?
The Broca Divide

The Afterlife

Daniel: Well, I thought heaven would've been a little more upscale.
The Nox

Ambitions

Sam: I know now he thinks, how he operates.
Jack: How he likes to play God?
The First Commandment

Artistic Talent

Teal'c: This is the valley. Here is the Stargate. Here is the temple.
Jamala (I'm just guessing at the spelling): Good drawing.
Teal'c: Thank you.
The First Commandment

Banter (Or Lack Thereof)

Jack: What's the problem General?
Hammond: You're not one for small talk, are you Colonel?
Jack: How was the weekend? Did you get any fishing in?
The Enemy Within

Big Bug - Really Big Bug

Lya: The ones you speak of come to hunt the Fenneri (sp?)
Jack: Fenneri? Wha-?
Daniel: That's probably that disappearing, invisible, flying thing we were after.
The Nox

Changing The Topic

Daniel: Teal'c, we need your help.
Teal'c: Your world is a strange place.
Daniel: So's yours.
Cold Lazarus

Concerned? You Should Be So Lucky!

Jack: By the way, how's the wound?
Sam: Wound?
Jack: I understand you got stabbed in the stomach.
Sam: Oh yeah. It's good. With any luck there won't even be a scar.
Jack: That's good. I was concerned.
Sam: You were?
Jack: Sure. If it doesn't heal properly, you'll never wear that sweet little tank-top number again.
The Broca Divide

Families

Daniel: I think they're a family.
Jack: Of what?
Daniel: I have no idea.
The Nox

Fear

Anteus (Once again, just guessing at spelling): We are not afraid.
Jack: Well get afraid!
The Nox

Feminine Stubborness

Daniel: We should have stopped her.
Teal'c: We would have failed.
The First Commandment

Fierce Creatures

Teal'c: They are most vulnerable when they hover.
Daniel: Hover? Like a hummingbird?
Teal'c: With teeth.
The Nox

Food, Problems With

Daniel: This tastes like chicken.
Sam: Then what's wrong with it?
Daniel: It's macaroni and cheese.
The First Commandment

Funny Form Of Chauvanism

Abu (guessing again): This is a woman!
Jack: Oh yeah.
Sam: What? Do I have something growing out of my nose or...?
Daniel: It must be some sort of cultural thing.
Abu: No! I cannot look at you!
Sam: Okay, now I'm hurt.
Emancipation

Futile Endeavours

Sam: You can't stay awake forever.
Daniel: I can try.
The Enemy Within

Friends In Very High Places

Kennedy: With respect, General, I feel I should take this to my superiors.
Hammond: Well, me, I'll probably just call the President and get approval right from the horse's mouth. But sure, you go right ahead Colonel - talk to your superiors.
The Enemy Within

Gee, Thanks

Jack: Ah... Home.
Sam: Yeah.
Jack: About that apartment...
Daniel: Oh, you didn't!
Sam: The, uh, day after the memorial service.
Daniel: Memorial service?!
Sam: The colonel said some really nice things.
Daniel: ...He did?
Fire and Water

Guard Duty Of The Nicer Kind

Makepeace: Don't you worry boys, that's why the SG-3 marines are coming with. You can count on us to watch your backsides.
Daniel: Actually, its more my frontside I was worried about.
The Broca Divide

Hypno-What?

Dr Mackenzie: I've had a great deal of success with hypnosis.
Jack: Hypnosis... You know, I'm not a big fan of that bark like a chicken, cluck like a dog stuff.
Fire and Water

In Other Words, I Forgot

Teal'c: It is Goa'uld. An obscure dialect.
Daniel: Why didn't you tell me that before?
Teal'c: You never before enquired.
Brief Candle

Interior Decorating

Jack: Love what they've done with the place.
Sam: I wanted to decorate my living room like this, but it didn't go with my other stuff.
The Broca Divide

Ladies Man

Jack: Daniel, you dog. Keep this up and you'll have a girl on every planet.
The Broca Divide

Last Will And Testement

Jack: Listen, uh, I've gotta ask you something and its not easy for me.
Kowalski: We're friends.
Jack: If you don't make it, can I have your stereo?
The Enemy Within

Liar, Liar

Technician (up in the control room): What's going on in there?
Teal'c: You received permission for me to fire my staff weapon in the gate room(?)
Sam: Oh yeah.
Daniel: Absolutely.
Cold Lazarus

Long Wait Ahead

Jack: Water... Give it enough time and it'll bring down walls. Even walls like that. So, in a couple of hundred years we'll be free.
Thor's Hammer

Loonie Lover

Sam: I guess I always had a soft spot for the lunatic fringe.
The First Commandment

Meteorology

Jack: The sky... orange?
Jamala: The sky - up there.
Jack: I know what the sky is.
The First Commandment

Mid-Husbandry

Sam: How many babies have you delivered?
Daniel: Uh, two... Counting today.
Brief Candle

Missing: Some Countries And A Few Files

Jack: How many hours of this stuff have you looked at?
Daniel: There's no conclusion of the file. There's no summary, no notes. No reason to explain why they gave up.
Jack: Whole boxes of material could be missing.
Daniel: No, the pentagon said this was everything.
Jack: Please! The pentagon's lost entire countries.
Torment of Tantalus

Mistaken Identities

Teal'c: Colonel O'Neill?
Jack: Lucy, I'm home!
Teal'c: I am not Lucy.
Jack: I know that. It's a reference to an old T- Never mind. Open the door.
Teal'c: I will summon the doctor.
Jack: No, no. C'mon, I'm fine. I'm back to being myself. Open up.
Teal'c: I cannot be certain you are back to yourself. You referred to me as 'Lucy'.
The Broca Divide

Naming Strategy

Daniel: Where are we?
Teal'c: The light side of P3X 797.
Daniel: I thought we were gonna give it a better name.
The Broca Divide

NID - Now Incredibly Dumb

Maybourne: Colonel Maybourne, NID.
Jack: Intelligence? What happened to Kennedy?
Maybourne: Promoted. I took his place.
Jack: Promoted? Talk about failing upwards.
Enigma

Not Quite The Morning After

Daniel: I went on the internet to do a little research on Australopithecus and- Wow. What happened to you?
Jack: Oh, I got into a little wrestling match with Carter.
Daniel: Why?
Jack: I guess she's got whatever Johnson got. I had to drag her to the infirmary.
Daniel: What'd she start a fight with you like Johnson did with Teal'c?
Jack: No, she, uh, tried to seduce me.
Daniel: Oh... you poor man.
The Broca Divide

Now Would Be A Good Time To Stop

Sam: Phew, what a relief. I've never been so happy to see you guys.
Jack: Sure you have. Remember that time on P3X 595 when you drank that stuff that made you take off your-
Sam: We won't get into that right now.
Emancipations

Nutbag Moments

Sam: You said you wouldn't kill them.
Jonas: I'm not, I'm sending them back to Earth.
Sam: Without sending the signal to open the iris? They'll die!
Jonas: Please Sam. I'm having a moment here.
The First Commandment

One-Sided Conversations

Sam: Listen, no offense Colonel, but this becomes the women's locker-room, well, now... You know how I hate those sandy planets..... You don't have to hurry on my account...
Cold Lazarus

Oprah Who?

Sam: So, you think this new anaethesia will be a miracle drug on Earth?
Daniel: Well, if it is, I bet someone else will get the credit. We can never say where it came from.
Jack: Damn! Guess I'll have to cancel that Oprah interview.
Teal'c: What's an 'Oprah'?
Emancipation

Orders, Problems With Following

Jack: I told him to go home.
Anteus: I told you to do the same... The very young do not always do as they are told.
The Nox

Plane Speaking

Jack: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Colonel speaking. Welcome to P3X niner-eight-niner where its a balmy... room temperature.
Tin Man

Practise Makes Perfect

Daniel: How is it that you always come up with the worst-case scenario?
Jack: I practise.
Emancipation

Radio Dis-Ability

Daniel (over the walkie-talkie): Jack, we've finished our recon, loaded up FRED and we're ready to head back to the gate. Is this..? Am I using this right?
Cold Lazarus

Really Bad Analogies

Daniel: You don't think the Goa'ulds are sending people through. Do you?
Jack: It'd be like bugs on a windshield.
The Enemy Within

Same Difference

Teal'c: Are you considering the same tactic as I?
Jack: Teal'c, the cliche is 'are you thinking what I'm thinking?' And the answer's yes.
Thor's Hammer

Science: The Final Frontier

Sam: You know the theory?
Narim: Yeah, I've studied it... in among other misconceptions of elementary science.
Sam: Misconceptions? Are you telling me you guys have licked quantum physics?
Enigma

Silence Is Golden

Catherine: You speak?
Teal'c: When it is appropriate.
Torment of Tantalus

Speech Patterns

Daniel: I'm Daniel. Hello.
Harlan: Oh, this is your custom, yes? Hello. You are their leader?
Daniel: No, that would be...
Jack: Me, Colonel Jack O'Neill... Kumbaya.
Harlan: Komtriya!
Jack: Whatever.
Tin Man

Strange Tastes In Clothing

Sam: Daniel, find me an anthropologist that dresses like this and I will eat this head-dress.
Emancipation

Technobabbling

Daniel: So this iris is going to hold, right?
Sam: Pure titanium less than three micrometers from the event horizon. It won't even allow matter to fully reintegrate.
Jack: So this iris is going to hold, right?
The Enemy Within

Wanted: One Staff Weapon

Hammond: Teal'c, you'll have to leave that here.
Teal'c: I have seen your world. I will need it.
Cold Lazarus

Watch Out For....

Teal'c: The perimeter is set up. Throws a small rock at the offending area
Jack: Perfect. If any little rocks sneak up on us, we'll have plenty of warning.
The First Commandment

Who's In Charge Here?

Jack: Now, I need someone to report back to the General and that person is you.
Connor: No sir.
Jack: 'No sir'? Does it say Colonel anywhere on my uniform?
The First Commandment

Wierd Carpentry

Teal'c: If I attempt to leave this place, the Goa'uld I carry will be destroyed.
Jack: By a hammer.
Thor's Hammer

Any comments or suggestions...?

© Dan 2000