1999 *N SYNC Calendar

As soon as we heard that *N SYNC had released a calendar, we ran to Barnes & Noble to order ours ASAP. Now before you all do the same, we have a few warnings that may make you think twice about spending your money on this..okay it won't, cause let's face it, anything with *N SYNC is with the money, but just don't get your hopes up! The following is a review of some things to look out for in each month.

January

• Joey must be horny because he's groping Justin's butt.
• JC not only has the 50's hairstyle goin' on, but he's also leaning up against the old car John Travolta-style.
• Isn't one Lance more than enough? We really didn't need the reflection in the windshield.

  February

• Lance, the usual snappy dresser, is clashing in his Wal-Mart brand clothing today.
• Where'd that fly come from?? Oh! That's Chris!
• Joey has zipped his turtleneck clear to the top, in order to cover up the hickies from Plenty Uptopp.
• Where the hell are they anyway? Their recording studio has gum on the floor?

  March

• Joey must have ran to KFC for a bite to eat. Lance accidently brought up the dreaded TGIF appearance and is hitch-hiking home.
• Justin spotted a prairie dog and can't his eyes off it.
• Obviously this wasn't Chris's month to wash his hair.

  April

• Joey stole a little kid's bike chain to wear, since his favorite Superman necklace has mysteriously disappeared.
• Happy Halloween Joey!
• We always hear that JC's the stylish member of the group, but where did he get a shirt with bugs on it??
• It's so cold out that Justin's hair gel stuck to the railing.

  May

• Chris, your grandpa called and he wants his pants back!
• Lance, wake up! Did Ruben wear you out last night?
• JC's ring didn't quite seem to fit, but he had to wear it anyway.

  June

• This picture was taken while the guys were on their way to beat Lance up after his face painting session.
• Justin just bought his new gold watch from a man wearing a trenchcoat and selling other stolen jewelry.
• JC's screaming a warning of a flash flood.

  July

• Justin's staring longingly at the driver's seat , but he still hasn't gotten his driver's lisence.
• Lance, they're not laughing WITH you...they're laughing AT you!
• Gorilla man Joey has once again zipped up his shirt to spare us from the masses of Austin Power-like chest hair and butterball rolls.

  August

• Lance is the new Miss Teen Mississippi! Check out that hand on hip pose!
• After eating out of the trough, Chris went for a mud bath. Due to this he has been excluded from the group.
• Justin's playing a little pocket pool.
• JC dropped his whitey-tightey's on the dirt right below his feet.

  September

• Lance is showing a little cleavage..eww!
• Chris can't remember whether or not he took his Viagra this morning.
• Where's JC? Oh there he is! Why isn't he fighting his way up to the front like usual?

  October

• We wish that we didn't notice Lance's camel toe.
• Justin zip up your pants! Veronica's done!
• Pass JC the remote, pork rinds, and a Bud Light!
• THIS IS OUR FAVORITE PICTURE!

  November

• Umm..

  December

• Chris has a little spinach dangling from his braces!
• Is this taken with a Polaroid? Couldn't they afford to reduce the red-eye??
• Cute picture, but a little too close for comfort.

  Overall: We have this image in our heads of the five guys standing around the calendar designer and as he's blowing the pictures up saying : Bigger...bigger...bigger...bigger...come on! Can't you get the pictures any bigger and make the dates smaller???"

  Did they have to use the same photo shoots that are in the CD and every magazine out there? Is it too much to ask for some new ones??

  We have a feeling though, that 1999 will be the best year yet!!

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