D,D & D
by Matt Barnes
Only the strong and sober shall survive
In a land riddled with monsters and magic.
All such things the Dungeon Master shall contrive
Until you suffer a fate so tragic.
If you dare, raise the sword and wear your helm
To endure Darwinism in this realm.
-
Begin the quest as a nerdy weakling
Willing to risk life with a roll of the die.
Dreaming to become a warrior-king,
You hunt the weak and pile them to the sky.
Looking for trouble in the seediest joints,
You spill some blood for experience points.
-
Toppling your foes in bloody confrontations,
You destroy the devils and waylay the wraiths.
While performing tedious calculations,
You unleash spells derived from mystical faiths.
Relishing the glory and wealth you've amassed,
You kiss maidens with beauty unsurpassed.
-
Then you storm the Castle of Cataclysm
To assassinate the evil Master,
But you've been blinded by optimism
And destroyed in your final disaster.
Just one roll of the dice and you're all through,
Suffering a hex as things have gone askew.
-
Now your identity has rubbed away,
Came and went in an addictive fantasy.
Hero to zero, sanity goes astray
As the evil Master leaves his legacy.
Fatally overdosed on escapism,
You stab yourself with fanaticism!
-
Ministers feed on religious fervor.
Their new agenda: Demonize the game.
It is their duty to act as God's server.
"When you take your life, Satan is to blame."
Pious rantings leave your death trivialized.
Why aren't personal issues analyzed?
NOTE: This poem reflects the tragedies of James Dallas Egbert III and Lee
"Bink" Pulling II. Egbert, a 16 year-old prodigy who attended Michigan
State University, ran off and committed suicide after losing a game of
Dungeons & Dragons. Pulling, also 16, shot himself in the heart after
another D&D player put a nasty curse on his character. However, Pulling
revealed signs of personal anguish when he wrote "LIFE IS A JOKE" on a
school chalkboard. According to the National Coalition on Television
Violence, 51 suicides from 1979 through 1985 were Dungeons &
Dragons-related. Not surprisingly, the religious right had a field day with
the suicides, even though the victims were off-balance before they even
played D&D.
Go back
