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A Philosophy Just for You!!!

Have you died before?

Will you be reborn later?

Are you reborn today?

How many times?!?

Are you depressed about it all?

And what can YOU do about it???

It has been said that what human beings perceive as 'existence' - the totality of the nearly infinite universe - is merely a single, brief, random and ultimately unimportant thought flickering for the briefest of split-nanomoments through the mind of God. Few people are able to take comfort in a philosophy based on this premise. Those who do find this spartan belief of limited (and therefore limiting) help when dealing with the psychic problems of this particular plane of the non-ethereal are probably nihilistically tending to a complete and utter lack of any belief system whatsoever. Indeed, if we were to observe such an individual, we would find that on many occasions they sit alone, torpid and sluggish, their minds full of warm slush, an expression of blank nonchalance masking their "true feelings" of self reproachful inexistence and incorporeal semi nothingness.

A picture of butter. What flies lie hidden under the surface?

If the answer is yes - or, conversely, if the answer is no - an effort must be made to see existence as a fantastic gift, a glittering prize awarded to those lucky enough to grab chance by the scruff of its muscular neck and wrench free the opportunity to be born. Don't be one of the millions who throw away their chance of happiness by disparaging the miracle of their own life, no matter how pathetic that life may be!

How can you hold hard to lovely, lovely life?

There are plenty of "little tricks" to keeping the "marvel" in your own marvelous "life"... Visit a sick friend in the hospital and, while you sit contemplating your unfortunate pal, revel in your own good health. Think about how you would feel if your places were switched, and it was you occupying the sickbed. Would you be envious? Would you covet the good health of your friend? Of course you would; it's only natural. So enjoy your momentary healthiness! You might also drop into a local shelter for the homeless. Look around you at the incredible poverty of the inhabitants. When you consider your own, obviously elevated situation in the world, don't you feel superior? Don't you feel that your life could be much, much worse than it is? Can you not derive some small amount of comfort from this fact?

There's always someone worse off than yourself.

On the other hand, go to the financial district of the nearest large city. Find the biggest and most prestigious of the city's stock brokerages. Station yourself outside the main doors and watch as the rich and powerful enter and exit the building without so much as a glance in your direction, without a single thought entering their heads concerning your existence. Does this "put the shoe on the other foot"? Do you "feel small" compared to these financial movers and shakers? Are you nothing more than an "insect" or filthy "bug" in comparison to these powerful Captains of Industry? Or do you feel superior once again, knowing that mere money cannot buy happiness or good health? Use your imagination to consider how many of these bloated richies will succumb to liver attacks and gall bladder problems before they've had a chance to spend a fraction of all their money... The heavy weight of a full wallet pressing on their fat-clogged hearts will hardly be comforting when they stagger, stumble and fall prostrate over their own walnut-and-mahogany desks.

A castle -- rich and powerful people cower behind walls.

It's not only incredibly easy, it's also incredibly good for you. Discover for yourself how in no time at all you will learn that nothing you do is really bad for you... How could it be? You know what you like, and so you do what you like. To believe anything else would be completely absurd, and no one - with the exception of two or three late night television entertainers - is truly absurd. There are plenty of reasons to love yourself. You just have to discover those reasons that are unique to the one person who is really you. Always remember: you are the only person exactly like yourself in the whole world - unless there are parallel universes, in which case there may be infinite, untold quadrillions of beings identical to you in every single way (with the exception that some would laugh at jokes you find offensive, some would be addicted to boring arts and crafts or exotic drugs, some would be totally evil, some would live on an Earth in which the Sumerian Empire never collapsed, etc.).

This could be YOU!

I'm positive that I am correct in everything I say, and so are you! I have so much more to tell you, but my space here is obviously limited. Please write to me at the address below, requesting the titles that you wish to explore further, enclosing a money order for the proper amount. I will rush, rush, RUSH your order to you and soon you will benefit further from the Wisdom of the Ageless Ages and the Thoughts of Timeless Time!

Reverend Professor J. Brewster has been called by some "the greatest single mind existing on this planet," while others have hailed him as "nothing less than the most intelligent spawn of the apes." Still others have said: "As a philosopher, metaphysician, psychic healer and mental gymnast, that [guy] is tops." Modestly preferring the company of angels, the Rev. Prof. shuns the Society of Man, spending his days in study and consultation with those who have Passed Over or who have (in the words of the Great Man himself) Died. In fact, much of the knowledge imparted by Rev. Prof. Brewster has been gleaned in conversation with the Honoured Dead. Communication is achieved through a combination of Tantrum Yoga, Preternatural Meditation and an advanced form of Ouija technology. The Reverend Professor believes his mission in today's troubled times is to help those less fortunate than himself. In thus desiring to help all the rest of the world, the Rev. Prof. Brewster knows he is truly engaged in God's Work, continuing what began so long ago with the building of the first Ziggurats in Sumer and continuing far into the next five years.

Here are several other information packed pamphlets which can be ordered by sending a money order for the full amount.