All signs, messages from Those-Who-Know, the unnamed dark forces, the Enlightened Ones, and the Chthonic Telluric Forces, point to a cataclysmic change and evolution of Earth, the Gaia Entity, and Humanity as a conscious force in the universe.

Previous explorers of these signs and portents have concluded they are for the best. Evolution is perceived to follow an upwards course. There is a trend towards "betterment". Is that necessarily so? Am I happier than Socrates? Do I have better enlightenment than Meister Eckhart?

I am not convinced.

Savants can point to all the "positive" change they want, but the real changes, the internal alchemy that is needed to lift the spirit out of the morass of day-to-day unhappiness into the bliss of ephemeral light is still not there.

That's because they've missed the point.

Hidden in the signs and currents of thought and idea is the ineffable Truth of Being. It can never be explained by mere language. Language is part of Its game. We are manouvered by language, It's tool, held closely by it. It controls our thoughts, it is our thoughts. Rational thinking, logic, words, explanations: they are all dead ends on our rocky path to enlightenment. We can not follow this road with comprehension. What is needed is epiphany, the sudden burst of understanding that comes without words.

Of course, as soon as this is reached, the mind, itself a tool of the language virus, tries to comprehend and, unintentionally, subdues the feeling. It is the primitive cortex that holds the key. This is where the evolution must come.

As we try to reach out for that Straw of Being, that sense of Awe and Understanding of the Divine Spark, the one feeling that can help us break through the Apollonian straightjacket of thought is Panic. Other feelings like love, hate and anger dississipate too easily. They are too easily turned aside by thinking processes like helping or vengeance. Panic stands alone. There is no pretense of rationality with a panic-stricken man too scared to scream. This is where we must go, what we must strive for.

It is the only true path to enlightenment.

Let's begin.

What comes first, the feeling or the thought of feeling?

Does the act of thinking of feeling preclude and exclude the feeling itself? Perhaps it masks the feeling with a thin veneer of language, a candy-coated covering of many colours over a powerful amphetimine. Concerned with whether we have the red or green one we are unaware of the powerful agent inside.

Can you really feel if you analyze your feelings? If you have to think about what you are feeling have you not, intentionally or not, already avoided it?