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if someone broke into my house"            UR by Alanis Morissette

FBI headquarters DC

6.30pm

Assistant Director Skinner knocked lightly on the basement door and let himself in. Surprisingly Agent Scully was still in the office, he assumed she had already left to visit Mulder in the hospital. She didn’t realize his presence and was diligently typing out some notes while muttering to herself. He raised an eyebrow when he caught the words.

"I can’t believe the Bloody Shithead ditched me again!"

He cleared his throat.

Dana’s head snapped up. "Sir! I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you."

"That’s all right. Actually I’m here because I was hoping to find a copy of Agent Mulder’s Insurance Policy."

"But he passed about twenty copies to Kim early this year."

Her superior suppressed a sigh.

Dana cocked her head in amazement. "She used it all up already?"

"Well, you know your partner."

"Unbelievable!" She looked thoughtful for a moment then frowned. "I don’t think Mulder keeps it in the office. It’s probably at his place."

"Could you get it for me? Kim needs it by tomorrow."

"I’ll try."

"Good. I’m on my way to see Agent Mulder. Have you finished?"

She hesitates. "I’m nearly done but it’s rather late, I don’t think I’ll see him today."

Skinner raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised. Agent Scully not checking in with her partner for the day. Is it possible? Well they **were** dealing with the X-files and extreme possibilities. "Are you sure? He’s probably waiting for you."

She frowned, somewhat annoyed. "I wouldn’t worry about Mulder, sir. He seems to be quite capable of taking care of himself without me."

Skinner bit his lip. "Right, any messages?"

"No, sir."

"I’ll see you in the morning then, Agent Scully."

"Good night."

She watched the door close behind him and sighed. A tiny feeling of guilt started creeping into her conscience and she groaned. ‘Now, what are you bugging me for? He ditched me first.’ She shoved the rest of paperwork into her bag and strode out of the office.

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Mulder’s apartment

7.11pm

She unlocked the door and walked into the dark apartment. ‘Okay, where should I begin?’ her finger flicked the lights on and her eyes wondered around taking in the few pieces of Mulder’s furniture, if it had the privilege to be called furniture. The man had totally no taste in home furnishing. Considering his disability in sleeping, you would think he would pick out better living conditions, as he’d be up longer than most people at home would.

She decided to start with the desk in the living room, seemed to be the most likely place important documents should be. Carefully shifting the pile of papers and files from the chair onto another pile of papers on the table, she sat down and began sieving through them.

Newspapers clips of aliens…….

A few X files that he brought out of the basement…….

Playboy subcriptions…….

Elvis Fan club membership card?

She shook her head in despair. ‘How did I end up with him?’ She unspokenly asked the Lord above the reason of her plight. It was just one of those days or rather nights when she wondered what it would be like to have a normal partner. ‘You know, just an ordinary man?’ One who actually lives in the real world. One who actually believes that Elvis is dead.

Five years. Five long years and she still hadn’t even begun to understand him. How could she?

He could distrust the whole world but suddenly become the informant’s best friend once a possibility of government conspiracy arises.

He could blatantly ignore every FBI procedure but passionately put his life on line to prove a ridiculous theory.

He could believe every absurd story and yet not believe in the interventions of God or even the very existence of one.

He could prove his concern for her by saving her butt on so many occasions and then disregard her by running off on his own without so much as a note or a phone call.

He could make her feel alive with his quest and faith and yet crush her with just a remark questioning her beliefs.

He could love her but in the next second hate her. She paused at what she was doing, recalling the time he waited for her at the elevator, asking her what she told Skinner with regards to the mild-mannered manager being a giant praying mantis or something. ‘A madness shared by two’, she told him. And he wasn’t happy with that. She knew it the moment he let out a little sigh and punched the elevator button with all his might. His index finger must have hurt after that.

She shook herself out of her reverie and began again. This time she concentrated on cursing him instead. Brooding would only bring her to ask herself unnecessary questions.

The table was clean. Literally too because she took the liberty to rearrange its occupants. She stretched herself a little and checked out the rest of the living room.

The metal bookshelf was clean. Just books on physiology.

The tank. A few underweight fish struggling to finish their journey from one end of the tank to the other. She reached for the fish food and sprinkled some into the tank. They lunged for it and Scully sprinkled some more, making a silent resolution to feed Mulder’s fish more often, irregardless whether he was in the hospital or not.

The couch was clean. Well, not really with bits of sunflower shells all around.

His little light-stand was clean. More sunflower shells. Dana smiled. ‘Mom would kill him by day two if he ever stayed in her house.’

His center piece table was clean too. Just the TV guide.

The TV top was clean. He didn’t have a video player. No wonder he brought his tapes to the office.

‘Okay, not in the living room.’ She frowned as a thought struck her. ‘Did Mulder have a bedroom?’ She never saw one in all her years with him. Never even suspected he had one. Even if there were another room it probably would be full of his junk. Mulder was an obsessive-compulsive collector of junk. 98% of the things in their office belonged to him.

Time to find out, she decided and ventured into parts of her partner’s apartment that she never dared before. She turned the knob of the door and her right hand reached out automatically for the light switch.

‘There’s another TV.’ Noticing the first object in the way. And this time, a video player with a tape sticking out from its mouth.

‘Incredible! There is a bed.’ She smiled, amused. It was no wonder he did not use it too, judging from amount of trash that was on it. She walked closer to it and studied the pile of papers. Soon she could make out vague boundaries of different stacks. ‘Maybe he had a system after all.’ She pondered whether she should disturb the delicate filing system or just assume that his insurance policy is not among the arrangement. Then, her eye caught something that grabbed her attention. Moby Dick.

She walked to the other side of the bed and picked the book up from the top corner of the bed. Flipping through the pages of the words that she knew so well, she stopped at the page where the name ‘Starbuck’ appears for the first time in the story. Memories of her father flashed in her head.

Following that, memories of Mulder and her stuck on the rock. She told him of Ahab and Starbuck. And he quoted a paragraph from the book. Previously she thought he had remembered the lines solely because of his photographic memory. But the physically worn book in her hand was proof that maybe she and Mulder had common interests after all. That’s another thing about Mulder, he was so totally opposite from her and yet sometimes, he surprised her.

With as much will power as she could possibly muster she closed the book, knowing that if she started reading another paragraph, she probably want to go through the whole book. Her foot crackled on something and she found more sunflower shells. And she immediately pictured Mulder sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed with the book in one hand and sunflower seeds in the other.

When she recovered, she groaned in disgust. ‘Stop dreaming and find the damned papers, Dana!’

She decided to skip the bed for the moment and go through the night stand. The first drawer held nothing significant. Just a few receipts, bills and small change.

She went on to the second one and frowned as several strange objects came in view. She recognized one of them. It was a small, long cylindrical silver case. He had brought it to the hospital when she had cancer and told her that the chip in it could save her life. And maybe it did.

But the other two objects were mysterious. One was a test tube with a cork on it. She picked it up and held it to the light. A pale whitish fluid. She peered closer and found a tag stuck onto it. It had a serial code on it and letters ‘D.K.S’. ‘Wait a minute, those are my abbreviations.’ She looked away for a while, listing several possibilities of what the test tube could hold. A moment later, she laughed at herself. She was just being paranoid. It probably was another of Mulder’s strange cases. Maybe not monkey pee but something else……

She replaced the tube and picked up the other object. It looked like a medicine bottle, no label and it contained a clear, green liquid. Slowly she swirled the solution around. It wasn’t thick and flowed easily. Curiosity got the better of her and she released the tight cover. She waited for any signs of hazardous fumes released. When she was satisfied that there were none, she took a chance and sniffed at the liquid. It had no smell. She cocked her head in thought. Again, she could not even guess what it could be and dismissed it again as one of her partner’s alien trophies.

She put in back into the drawer and slid it open wider to extract a file. She stopped breathing when she opened it. There was large photo of her. She recognized it as one of the first few photos taken when she first joined the academy. Flipping it over, she realized that she was looking at her file. At her own X-file.

It was all there. Her abduction, her reappearance and Ed Jerse. Come to think of it, she never had a chance to read his reports on her. Actually she didn’t want to. It brought back too many memories she didn’t want to remember. But now, it seemed like ancient history. Maybe it was time to. She sat down at the side of the bed and began reading his words.

The reports were surprisingly short. All of them. She smiled tightly wondering why he was so guarded with his account when it came to her file but could go on forever with the other X-files. Maybe it hurt him to reaccount her tragedies too.

The Ed Jerse section was slightly different. He rambled on about him longer than he should have. She understood that. He was jealous that she had let a total stranger get so close to her. Just like he was jealous when he caught her with Eddie Van Blundht. It was natural. She felt the same with Angela White, Bambi and Diana.

Jealously was a part of their partnership that took some getting used to. They both fought valiantly to put up a front which both of them knew they were putting up. But neither questioned the reasoning behind it. It was just too dangerous.

She closed the file of her life and slipped into the drawer. A little yellow post-it note attached itself on her finger in the process. Unconsciously she read it. It was her handwriting. Just a little note that she had left on one of his files months back. She looked into the drawer and noticed that there other notes such as these at the far corner of the drawer. All with her handwriting on them. Now why on earth would Mulder want to keep them? She shook her head, baffled. Mulder was weird.

She pushed the second drawer shut and opened the last one. ‘Mulder treasure trove.’ She grinned as she read the titles of the video tapes aloud. " ‘Passion City’ , ‘Naughty Boys and Girls’ , ‘G-woman 12/5/96’, , ‘G-woman 13/5/96’, ‘G-woman 14/5/96’ ….."

‘He sure likes G-woman if he has the whole series.’ She thought and pushed the drawer shut. ‘Great, don’t tell me I really have to go through all the rubbish on the bed.’

Almost on cue, Dana’s cell-phone rang. She was slightly relieved that she could put off the strenuous task off at least for a while.

"Agent Scully?"

"Yes, this is Agent Scully."

"I’m Doctor Atfields. Agent Mulder is upset and very agitated. He wants to see you. I think it’d be best if you could come over right away."

"What’s wrong?"

"Well, his cell-phone battery ran out and there isn’t a phone in the room. I mean, you know what happened the last time he had a room with a phone….."

"Yeah, the ‘1900’ calls….."

"Anyway, he wants to talk to you desperately but he can’t be moved with his broken rib and all… "

‘This is going nowhere.’ Dana thought and interrupted him. "Doctor? Could you please see that he gets a phone?"

"That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Agent Scully. Several men were just down here restricting Agent Mulder from making or taking any calls."

"What? Did they say where they are from?"

"Well, they’re Feds."

"Could you take a message then?"

"I tried. He insisted on speaking to you personally."

Dana frowned. "Doctor, could you do me a favor? Call the FBI headquarters and ask for Assistant Director Walter Skinner. He’ll clear this mess up. Then Agent Mulder can make his phone call and we can all get on with our lives."

"Right." He hesitated then continued, "Just for your future reference, there’s a great ER medical team in County Hospital and it’s much closer to the FBI building."

Dana bit her lip in amusement. "Doctor, I promise you when I get there and kill Mulder, you’ll have nothing to worry about **in future**."

Doctor Atfields chuckled softly and wished her goodbye.

She rolled her eyes. Sooner or later that Mulder would be officially banned from every hospital in the state. They would probably have his photo pinned up next to the ER entrance under the heading ‘DENY ADMITTANCE’. Actually, she had a feeling she would be too considering the way she practically undermines the doctors and nurses everytime is brought through their door. It really isn’t her fault. She just somehow gets submerged into her overprotective, mother-hen alter ego that just pisses the ER staff off.

She turned back to the mess on the bed when her feet kicked something under the bed. Dana debated whether to take a peek. Finally, winning in favor of the motion, she reached for the item. Another book. She pulled it out. Actually it seemed to be a bound manual. She turned the cover of the thick black leather cover and her eyes widened.

‘Einstein’s Twin Paradox : A new Interpretation.’ She stared at the heading for a few seconds before her mind worked. ‘Mulder wasn’t kidding when he said he read her senior year thesis. But how on earth did he manage to get a copy?’ The bound manual was clearly one of the two originals that she handed up in her final year, not a print out from the library web that she supposedly thought he accessed prior to their partnership. She turned the manual to its side and found a University stamp. ‘He didn’t.’ She frowned. ‘He couldn’t have.’ But it was the only explanation she could think off. Mulder had borrowed the manual from the University library and have not returned it since. She chuckled. By now, he probably owes the library about two hundred bucks worth of library fines.

She restored the thesis to its former hiding place and again turned to continue her search of Mulder’s insurance policy. But the sight of the formidable headache that would come with it stopped her. She sighed and glanced around the room for an easier conquest. She decided on the TV.

Okay, maybe it’s a ridiculous choice but she was tired and bored. Might as well check out what Mulder crashed with last weekend. She sometimes rented a video with him. It was the few, rare times when they just sat down and enjoy each other’s presence without the excuse of work. Of course, there would be the fake excuses. Like either one of them couldn’t sleep or the heater was out or the apartment was being fumigated. Oh, they both knew they were fake excuses. ‘Why’ was just one of those questions that they keep away from. Again, another dangerous issue.

The title of the tape in the video read G-woman 20/5/96. ‘Great. Oh, who cares!’ She pushed the tape into the video and it automatically went into play mode. She then pushed the TV switch.

The screen flickered to life and Dana found herself watching an apartment window. She frowned, there was something strangely familiar about the settings, especially the curtains.

A dark shadow in the apartment background caught her attention. There was someone in the room but he or she was at the far left of the room, and thus hidden from view. The someone soon started tossing clothes over to the other side of the room. First a large trench coat then a beige office overcoat. The person was obviously a woman. She seemed to be undressing.

Dana muttered under her breath. "This isn’t a porn video, It’s a surveillance tape!"

Then the woman came into view. She was balancing her cell-phone between her shoulder and ear while unbuttoning her blouse.

Dana stopped breathing. "What the hell….?" She was seeing herself on TV! Undressing! "I’m gonna kill him!" Dana started to move but stopped when the screen flickered again Frohike appeared on screen.

<<<

"Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! Invasion of privacy, Mulder? Just what do you think **you’re** doing? I knew you had an ulterior motive when you insisted I hand all my tapes of Scully to you. You have the hots for her too, don’t you?

Don’t worry. I promised you I won’t tape her again and I always keep my promises.

Oh yeah, don’t bother with the rest of the tapes, this is the best I’ve taped. And even this one, she drew the curtain close at the forth button. Sigh!

Just a thought, Mulder. She was talking to you the whole time. Bet you won’t be able to sleep with that in your head, huh?"

>>>

The screen went blank.

Dana was confused, physically paralyzed as her emotions clashed with one another inside her. She was relieved that Mulder confiscated the tapes from that idiotic pervert, angry that he didn’t tell her about it and perplexed that he not only kept the tapes but watched it as well. And judging from the location of the tape in the VCR itself, he must have watched it quite often.

‘Think Dana think! What the hell is going on? Can Fox William Mulder be in love with me?’

‘Impossible!’

‘Why not? Look at all the incriminating evidence in his bedroom.’

‘I probably have as much of his stuff in my room too.’

‘And you’re in love with him.’

‘No I’m not!’

Suddenly, she realized what she was doing and she walked quickly into the bathroom and sprinkled some water on her face. She looked at herself in the mirror.

"Okay Dana, talking to yourself is one thing. Arguing with yourself? That’s not a good sign." She drew in deep breaths and calmed herself down.

‘This is ridiculous.’ She thought. ‘It’s just Mulder. I’m not in love with him and he’s not in love with me. We’re partners!’

She frowned as several thoughts refute her account of their relationship. "Okay, maybe there are certain issues that suggest attraction to one another. That’s no big deal. We’re both very attractive people. We both have no social lives. It’s natural to erm… have issues." She bit her lip at the corny explanation. Now, she knew why she never took up law.

Suddenly, Dana’s cell-phone rang. She took another deep breath and answered the phone, knowing fully that by now, Mulder would have gotten to a phone.

"Scully?" Mulder’s voice questioned.

Dana gathered her composure and tried to sound normal. "What happened Mulder? Why couldn’t you use the phone just now?"

"There was some mistake. Some ass mistook me as some other guy under FBI custody."

"Oh." She hesitated, "Why were trying to call me Mulder?"

"Well, Skinner dropped saying that you’re looking for my insurance papers?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Where are you Scully?"

"In your apartment."

"You’re in my apartment?" His voice sounded panicky. "You haven’t looked in my bedroom, have you?"

"Why?"

"Scully, did you or did you not enter my bedroom?" He asked impatiently again

Dana smiled, it was very rare that Mulder showed emotion in his voice. "Are you hiding a love slave somewhere in there?"

"Scully! I’m serious. Answer the question."

Dana took a few seconds to debate with herself. Finally she decided to lie. "No, Mulder. I haven’t gotten ‘round to that yet." Did she hear a sigh of relief?

"Good." Mulder did sigh in relief. It would be total disaster if she found her things in his room. Her thesis, her post-it notes, her ovums, Emily’s poison, her tapes. ‘Oh God, her tapes! Did I leave a copy of G-woman in the living room?’

"Scully. You errr…..didn’t fool around with my tapes, did you?"

Dana couldn’t help but grin to herself. "I just checked out your collection. G-woman, Mulder?"

Silence.

"Mulder?"

His voice was reduced to a hoarse croak. "Scully, I….." Silence again.

‘Got him!’ She smiled victoriously, slightly surprised that Mulder missed the fact that he didn’t have a video player in the living room and she supposedly hadn’t check out his bedroom yet. But then again, people who panic rarely think straight. "Don’t worry Mulder. I have better things to do than to watch women in leather boots and handcuffs. And even if I did, I wouldn’t think less of you than I already do."

Another sigh of relief. "Thanks…….. I think."

"Mulder, where do you keep your insurance papers?"

"They’re in the kitchen drawer."

"You keep your documents in the kitchen drawer?"

"Well, my other drawers are full with… other stuff. Will you just get the papers and get me out of this hospital? Nurse Beline is torturing me. You know I think they purposely put her in my ward when I’m in here."

"Well, she’s the only one that can get you to take your medicine on time."

"That’s not true!" His voice softened. " I listen to you too."

Dana melted. "Mulder, hang in there. I’m coming to get you."

"But Doctor Atfields just left for home, they’ll never release me without his signature."

She smiled. "Have faith and never fear! It is going to take more than Nurse Belling to stop me in my rescue."

He grinned at the mouthpiece. Scully being frivolous? Rare but when it happens, she’s really cute. "Aaahhh, my lady-knight in flaming hair."

"I do it all for you, Mulder. All for you."

"As I would for you, milady."

"Farewell, my sickly one."

"Adieu, my love." The beeping sound of the disconnected line signaled the end of the call.

‘Did Mulder just called me his love?’

Looking in the mirror before her, she found she had a ridiculous grin plastered on her face. ‘Maybe I am in love with him.’ She thought.

‘Maybe he’s in love with me too.’

‘Or maybe not.’

‘Or maybe we just don’t want to go there yet.’ She told herself decisively.

Satisfied, she went to the kitchen to retrieve Mulder’s documents and headed out the door.

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End of Incriminating Evidence