1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts
when they don't realize it.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals
throughout the day.
4. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
5. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the
restrooms.
6. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a Code 3 in housewares," and see what
happens.
7. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off
and turn the volumes to "10."
8. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
9. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
10. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the
other aisles.
11. Put M&M's on layaway.
12. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
13. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll
invite them in only if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
14. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.
15. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
16. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
"Why won't youpeople just leave me alone?"
17. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror
while you pick your nose.
18. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale
battlefield with GI Joes vs. the X-Men.
19. Ask other customers if they have any Gray Poupon.
20. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly
ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
21. Switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the
restrooms.
22. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
" Mission: Impossible."
23. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
24. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with
various funnels.
25. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through,
say things like "pick me! Pick me!" and scare them into
believing that the clothes are talking to them.
26. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume
the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices
again!"
27. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
28. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and
relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink;
explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a
little umbrella in it.
