What I Learned Before The Age Of Five...

Don't wake your mom and dad up early on New Year's day..

Don't eat too much Halloween candy... you'll puke!

Don't laugh when you're drinking something.. it comes out your nose.

Never admit you don't believe in Santa!

Always wear nice underwear.. you might get in a wreck!

Don't run with scissors!

Don't put any beans up your nose!

Don't eat yellow snow.. no matter what your sisters tell you!

If mom says no, ask dad.

Never stick your tongue out at someone when there is a mirror in the area!

Never stick your tongue on anything really cold and frosty!

Don't take candy from strangers.

Never get in a car with a stranger.

Don't sit too close to the television, it will ruin your eyes!

Don't hug bunnies too tight!

Don't slurp your soup, if you get whacked it ruins everyone's dinner.

If you accidently shoot a bird with your BB gun, don't rip it's wing off.. it's not going to live.

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

If your sister hits you, don't hit her back.  They always catch the second person.

You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.

Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.

Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

Don't trim your own hair, even if it needs it.

Mom's have eyes in the back of their heads.

You can't pet baby chicks too much or they die.

Grandmother's are the best people in the world.

Big sisters hate it when you sleep with their stuffed animals.. it mooshes up the fur.

Bait your own hook.. it makes your dad smile.

Never let anyone fence you in.

Willow switches are not a good thing.

Be nice to your big sisters..they'll give you anything.