Thinkings

12/26/07 - Success is getting what you want. Happiness is liking what you get.

12/22/07 - I'll not listen to reason. Reason always means what someone else has to say. ~ Elizabeth Gaskell

12/20/07 - Why is it that so many bad things happen this time of year.. or is it they just seem worse during the holidays because we have the ingrained notion that all should be right with the world at this time?

12/14/07 - Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

12/13/07 - Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ~ Katherine Hepburn

12/12/07 - Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet. ~ Unknown

12/11/07 - I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that? ~ Wendy Liebman

12/10/07 - The magi, as you know, were wise men - wonderfuly wise men who brought gifts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. ~ O. Henry

12/06/07 - To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Unknown

12/04/07 - As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

12/03/07 - My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. ~ Errol Flynn

12/02/07 - My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.

12/01/07 - Save a little money each month and at the end of the year you'll be surprised at how little you have. ~ Ernest Haskins

11/30/07 - The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking. ~ Will Rogers

11/28/07 - A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

11/26/07 - People who don't think probably don't have brains; rather, they have grey fluff that's blown into their heads by mistake. ~ Eeyore

11/17/07 - Status Quo.. Latin for the mess we're in. ~ Jeeve Moorman

11/13/07 - If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

11/11/07 - Always yield to temptation because it may not pass your way again. ~ unknown

11/09/07 - Sometimes, when you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it. ~ Winnie-the-Pooh

11/08/07 - Ohnosecond: That miniscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

11/05/07 - Dogs come when they are called; cats take a message and get back to you. ~ Mary Bly

10/27/07 - Always remove fingers from door jam before shuttng the door.

10/27/07 - A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs. ~ Mark Twain

10/25/07 - When sawing off the gangplank, pay attention as to which side of the cut you are standing on.

10/24/07 - There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it. ~ John W. Raper

10/21/07 - Inflation hasn't ruined everything. A dime can still be used as a screwdriver. ~ unknown

10/17/07 - Poetry and Hums aren't things which you get, they're things which get you. And all you can do is to go where they can find you. ~ Winnie the Pooh

10/16/07 - Happiness is good health and a bad memory. ~ Ingrid Bergman

10/11/07 - Always borrow money from a pessimist, he doesn't expect to be paid back. ~ Unknown

10/08/07 - Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. ~ Mary Bly

10/07/07 - Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. ~ Will Rogers

10/05/07 - The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

10/04/07 - I have my faults, but being wrong ain't one of them. ~ Jimmy Hoffa

10/03/07 - Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

10/01/07 - I am not one of those who in expressing opinions confine themselves to facts. ~ Mark Twain

09/30/07 - I know I have a mind, I just can't remember where I put it.

09/28/07 - Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

09/27/07 - There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. ~ Dr. Henry Kissinger

09/26/07 - Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

09/25/07 - If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. ~ Will Rogers

09/22/07 - Every path has its puddle. ~ English proverb

09/21/07 - One of the perks of getting older.. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

09/20/07 - Happiness is not the abscence of problems; but the ability to deal with them.

09/19/07 - Don't argue with idiots... they'll bring you down to their level, then beat you with experience. ~ Steve

09/12/07 - I was wise enough to never grow up while fooling most people into believing I had. ~ Margaret Mead

09/11/07 - Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. ~ Mark Twain

09/10/07 - Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent. ~ Jean Kerr

09/09/07 - Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone.

09/08/07 - Half of knowing what you want is knowing what you have to give up to get it. ~ Sidney Howard

09/07/06 - Maybe this world is another planet's hell. ~ Aldous Huxley

09/05/07 - Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. ~ Will Rogers

09/03/07 - You win some you lose some...

09/02/07 - I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time. ~ Charles Schulz

08/30/07 - Conversation would be vastly improved by the constant use of four simple words: I do not know. - André Maurois

08/29/07 - Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. ~ Mark Twain

08/28/07 - Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame. - Laurence J. Peter

08/27/07 - Fast tonight, for tomorrow you may have to eat your words.

08/16/07 - The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person who is doing it. ~ Chinese Proverb

08/15/07 - A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. ~ Andy Rooney

08/13/07 - I am not young enough to know everything. ~ Oscar Wilde

08/12/07 - Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think. ~ Ambrose Bierce

08/07/07 - Only 139 days til Christmas. :O(

07/31/07 - Bad is never good until worse happens. ~ Danish proverb

07/30/07 - There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise.

07/29/07 - Never be too open minded, your brains could fall out.

07/28/07 - Swiped Out: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from excessive use.

07/24/07 - You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone. ~ Al Capone

07/18/07 - Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

07/15/07 - Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

07/07/07 - How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire or a barbecue?

07/06/07 - It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

06/29/07 - Some people are like blisters. They don't show up until the work is done.

06/28/07 - People who think they know everything are very irritating to those of us who do. ~ Unknown ~ I can't believe you haven't nagged at me before this! *L*

06/11/07 - Who's the more foolish...the fool or the fool who follows him? Obi-Wan Kenobi

06/07/07 - Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a lot of ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. ~ Joseph Wood Crutch

06/04/07 - People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children. ~ Bill Watterson - Calvin and Hobbes

05/30/07 - There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

05/24/07 - Mistakes are the usual bridge between inexperience and wisdom. ~ Phyllis Theroux

05/18/07 - Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

05/15/07 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain. ~ Steven Wright

05/13/07 - Put cotton in your ears and pebbles in your shoes. Pull on rubber gloves. Smear vaseline over your glasses, and there you have it: Instant old age. ~ Malcolm Cowley

05/11/07 - Grandkids are God's reward for not killing your kids.

05/03/07 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ~ unknown

05/02/07 - I need to be poor again. I'm much more fun when I'm poor.. because fun was made, not purchased... ~ Saint

05/01/07 - I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.

04/30/07 - Most cats, when they are out want to be in, and visa versa, and often simultaneously. ~ Louis J. Camuti

04/29/07 - Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything. ~ Frank Dane.

04/24/07 - The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. ~ Doug Larson

04/22/07 - Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills. ~ Minna Antrim

04/20/07 - Refuse to let an old person move into your body! ~ Wayne Dyer

04/18/07 - Some people are like Slinkies . . .. not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

04/16/07 - Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. ~ Fletcher Knebel

04/12/07 - Don't ask the question if you don't want to hear the answer.

04/10/07 - Caffeine is for people who feel they aren't irritable enough on their own. ~ Maxine

04/09/07 - A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

04/08/07 - A cat sees us as the dog...A cat sees himself as the human. ~ Unknown

04/04/07 - When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.

04/03/07 - Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

03/29/07 - There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats. - Anonymous

03/23/07 - Tidiness is one of those virtues that never will be assimilated with pleasure. ~ Dame Freya Stark

03/21/07 - Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. - W. Somerset Maugham

03/20/07 - The purpose of life is to fight maturity. ~ Dick Werthimer

03/15/07 - Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

03/14/07 - You're only young once, but you cam be immature all your life. ~ Charles Scoggins

03/13/07 - Making money is easier than keeping it.

03/12/07 - Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

03/11/07 - Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousands of miles and all the years you have lived ~ Helen Keller

02/22/07 - It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

02/17/07 - If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. ~ Mark Twain

02/16/07 - Most minds are like concrete... all mixed up and permanently set.

02/11/07 - I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.

02/07/07 - You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally, but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10 -15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration.

02/06/07 - God answers kneemails.

02/05/07 - Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

02/01/07 - In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity. ~ Konrad Adenauer

01/31/07 - If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance. ~ George Bernard Shaw

01/30/07 - For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words Bother me. ~ Winnie-the-Pooh

01/29/07 - Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.

01/28/07 - Daylight savings time: Why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

01/27/07 - The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits. ~ Albert Einstein

01/20/07 - Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

01/19/07 - Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

01/18/07 - MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage: My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts.

01/17/07 - When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole nearby. ~ Nigerian Proverb

01/16/07 - You can't own a cat. The best you can do is be partners. ~ Sir Harry Swanson

01/15/07 - What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before. ~ Mark Twain

01/12/07 - Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?

01/09/07 - I'm out of bed and dressed; What more do you want?

01/08/07 - How did we ever survive without the internet?

01/06/07 - You really didn't think I was going to keep up with this everyday did you? *L*