Thinkings...

07/26/10 - Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

07/25/10 - Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. ~ Steven Wright

07/24/10 - The secret to getting everything done is knowing what to leave undone.

07/23/10 - Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.

03/18/10 - What's the difference between a Northern fairy tale and a Southern fairy tale?
A Northern fairy tale begins "Once upon a time."
A Southern fairy tale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."

03/17/10 - I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either!

03/16/10 - Was learning cursive really necessary?

03/10/10 - I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. ~ Jennifer Unlimited

03/08/10 - Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: You find the present tense, and the past perfect.

03/07/10 - I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

03/06/10 - Bad decisions make good stories.

03/05/10 - There is great need for a sarcasm font.

03/04/10 - Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

03/03/10 - I'm not sick.. I'm just broke down temporarily.

03/02/10 - Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.

01/26/10 - Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. ex. milk duds, buttered popcorn, junior mints and Tootsie Rolls...

01/25/10 - When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. ~ Norm Crosby

01/24/10 - I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.

01/23/10 - If you wait until you're sure, you'll never take off the training wheels.

01/22/10 - Whether you are in or out, you usually want to be the other. ~ Missy

01/21/10 - If a lady has a black thing on her tooth, tell her.

01/20/10 - Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs. ~ PJ O'Rourke

01/19/10 - When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ~ Henny Youngman

01/17/10 - You either control your attitude or it controls you.

01/16/10 - Caffeine is for people who feel they aren't irritable enough on their own. ~ J. Wagner

01/15/10 - How do some men define Roe vs. Wade? Two ways to cross a river.

01/13/10 - Don't blow on a spark unless you want a fire. ~ C.C. Lewis

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