This is reaally funnnny!!! |
This one is clever..... Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be sent away as soon as possible. Sd/- Project Leader -------------------------------------------- A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, and 13... for my true assessment of him. |
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Another clever one ..... There was an Indian, a Pakistani and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania, Australia. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Pakistani were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Indian had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there. The Indian was thinking: "The Pakistani must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead." Claudia Schiffer was thinking: "The Indian must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Pakistani and got slapped for it." The Pakistani was thinking: "This is great! The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that Indian dumb-ass again." mailed by Khusro |
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Nothing to cheer about A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large". Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows". The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, "And what are those"? The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"? mailed by Khusro |
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Psychiatrists' CYKOLOGEE... Q: How two Psychiatrist greet each other? A: You are fine. How am I? mailed by Dr. Jafri |
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Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is. |
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This is reaaally funny! My friend is a rather old-fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in language. She and her husband were planning a trip to Florida so she wrote to a campground they planned to visit and asked for a reservation. She wanted to make sure that the campground was fully equipped, but didn't quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. After much deliberation, she finally came up with the old fashion term "bathroom commode." But when she wrote that down, she still thought she was being too forward, so she rewrote the letter and reffered to the bathroom comode simply as the "B.C." "Does the campground have its own B.C.?" is what she actually wrote. Well, the campground owner wasn't old-fashioned at all, and when he got the letter, he just couldn't figure out what the woman was talking about! That "B.C." buisness really stumped him. After worrying about it for awhile, he showed the letter to several campers, and they couldn't imagine what the lady meant, either. So, after coming to the conclusion that the lady must be asking about the location of the local Baptist church, the owner sat down and wrote the following reply: "Dear Madam, I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located 9 miles north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people at one time. It is located in a beautiful pine grove and is open only on Sundays and Wednesdays. I admit it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of people take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive early and stay late. My daughter met her husband at the B.C. The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand the whole time we were there. Sometimes it is so crowded that there are five to a seat. It may interest you to know that there is a supper planned to raise money to buy more seats. They are going to hold it in the basement of the B.C. I would like to say it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely not do to lack of desire on my part. As we grow older it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in the cold weather. "If you decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I could go with you. |
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