Reflections

by Persephone

Los Angeles, 1999

Faith stretched, letting the covers fall back as she rose in her bed. Through the half-veiled window, she could see that the last rays of the famed California sun were slowly dying into night. Night time--their time.

And now, hers.

Still, she took her time in rising, enjoying the feel of the sheets against her nude body as they fell away. The scrape of the threadbare carpet as her feet slid down to touch it. The prickle of gooseflesh as the air conditioner hit it. A million different sensations from mundane activities that people did every day and never gave a second thought to.

But she was grateful for the mundanity, realizing in it that she had survived another day. And in her line of work, that was all that mattered. Who was left standing at the end of the night and who wasn't.

And now, another night was beginning. Probably bringing with it some ravening hellbeast or vampire intent on destroying the world. The usual drill.

Faith caught herself. When had it become the usual drill? she wondered. She could remember a time, such a long time ago it seemed now, that Friday nights meant hanging out with her friends, scoping out all the cute boys on the Strip, and maybe getting drunk later at a party. Now, Fridays were dedicated to stakings, talking to Giles long distance, and world saving. Not that she was complaining. Okay, so maybe she was complaining. Just a little. But it was her life, such as it was, and she was lucky to have it.

Wait a minute, she asked herself, was it even Friday? She lost track of the days so often now it was difficult to remember.

On her night stand, her clock radio suddenly went off, loud music blasting out of the small box and filling the room. It would probably have her neighbors pounding on the paper thin walls and screaming at her again. Faith shrugged, gliding to her feet and letting the energetic beat of the music carry her away. It felt so good to just kick back and let her body sway in time with the music. When was the last time she had gone dancing? Probably back in Sunnydale, at the Bronze, she decided. Not exactly the best club in the world or even the kind of clubs she was used to but still it had been fun. Hanging out with Buffy and the Slayerettes... Buffy was so lucky to have friends like that, people she could go and unload to when things got rough. Lucky to have a honey of a Watcher like Giles, not just as a Watcher but as a step- father. Hell, she was even lucky enough to have someone like Angel be in love with her--even if he was a vampire. Faith slowed in her movements, hating the tinge of jealousy there was to that thought. She liked the other vampire Slayer, felt a sense of sisterhood with her no matter how much she wanted to deny it, deny that she could be dependent on anyone. Or deny that she could be lonely and vulnerable. She especially hated admitting the latter.

Until Sunnydale, Faith had thought herself above such things. After all, she was the Slayer; she had a destiny. Admittedly, not one that she would have chosen for herself. 'Course, Faith wasn't exactly sure what she would be doing right now had her Watcher not found her. Had Kendra not died. Had she not become the Slayer-- well, a Slayer. Probably sentenced to a lifetime of waitressing at Denny's, she twisted her lips. Or worse, making her home at some correctional institution.

Instead, she was L.A.'s best kept secret--well, aside from a certain soul-cursed vampire of her acquaintance who was also making his home here. Saving the unknown and probably ungrateful populace of this city from whatever fresh menace the Hellmouth chose to serve up. And it was a full time job; while this Hellmouth might be young, it was beginning to catch up to Sunnydale in its scale of activity. It was taking so much out of her that she hadn't seen the morning's sun in nearly three months. She was becoming as nocturnal as, well, Angel.

The thought of the soul-cursed vampire gave her a moment's pause. A year ago, if any one had told her that one of her closest friends would be a remorseful vampire, she would have laughed in his face. Especially since she had tried to stake him when they'd first met. Admittedly, it wasn't entirely her fault--she had been egged on by both Xander and her 'Watcher.' Still, it hadn't exactly helped her relationship with either the vampire or the Slayer who loved him.

Maybe time did heal all wounds, she mused. Of late, her relationship with Angel had improved vastly. They had become comrades-in-arms, often teaming up to help each other out. And to deal with Cordelia when she had one of her wig outs, usually over a ruined dress or broken pair of heels. She rolled her eyes. Typical. The whole world might be going to hell but as long as Cordy looked good, it wasn't important.

Still, though she would never admit it, she was glad to have the other girl around. Even though they were polar opposites, even though Cordy could try the patience of a saint, it was nice to have someone around who knew what she was and accepted it. Sure, there was Angel but it was a little different. He was a *guy*--a vampire but still a guy. There were some things that only another woman could understand--no matter how shallow or tactless she was sometimes. And sometimes, just sometimes, Cordy showed occasional flashes of actual compassion. When she wasn't moaning over her clothes or being seen with Faith, she was actually a lot of fun to be around. While she might not understand everything Faith was going through, Cordy listened. And the Slayer knew that she could always count on getting the truth from her. Even when she didn't want it.

No, her life wasn't perfect. Nor was it completely terrible. At least not anymore. She had friends, people she could count on, and more importantly, she had a purpose. It might not be what she would have picked for herself but it was some measure of comfort to know that her life wasn't in vain. And when it was her time, well... There would be people who would mourn for her, who would remember her.

Maybe it was all anyone had a right to ask for.

-- End --