When I first discovered that I had “panic attack disorder” I was, surprisingly enough, relieved. Relieved to finally be able to put a name or a label onto what was happening to me. Being able to name it made me feel that there was at least some tangible thing that I could grab hold of and start dealing with. All I wanted was to feel better and I was willing to do almost anything to accomplish that desire. I just needed someone to tell me where to start. To show me the ropes. To lead the way home. I was willing to travel anywhere to find my long lost peace no matter how hard the journey.

But I still had some questions that I wanted answered. I had a “need” to know how this anxiety thing came into my life in the first place. I was curious. So I began digging. Here’s what I found.

PANIC PRONE PERSONALITIES

In my quest to find an answer the question “why me?” I began to uncover some interesting data. I discovered that there were a certain set of personality traits shared by people who suffer from anxiety disorders. Examine the following list. While many of these personality traits may not describe you, the more of them that do seem similar to your own personality traits, the more likely you are to being prone toward the possibility of panic or anxiety disorder. The list includes:

Perfectionism

Over-controling

People pleaser

Unrealistically high self expectations

Highly performance conscious

Highly sensitive

Highly creative

The “doer”

The “code” communicator

The health worrier

Radar

While this list is not by any means “all inclusive”, people with anxiety disorders tend to have one or many of these traits. Now let’s look at each one of these traits in greater depth.

Perfectionism.

Perfectionism is the tendency toward all-or-nothing thinking. To view your actions and the actions of others in absolutes. Right-or-wrong, black-or-white - with no room for shades of gray. Things are either done correctly or incorrectly. The perfectionist leaves little to no margin for error for himself and for the performance of others. Consequently, there is a great possibility for frustration in the perfectionists life as most of life falls short of being perfect. This personality trait also often uses the words should, must and ought too frequently. “I should have done this” or “He should have done it that way.”

Over-controling.

This is the person that needs to be in control of life’s situations and the events surrounding him or her. This person also needs to appear to be in control of themselves at all times and especially in front of other people. They will go to great lengths to insure that all the little ducks of their lives are lined up in a neat and tidy row. Because this person has become so skilled at acting in control of themselves they are sometimes hard to identify at first glance. This person is especially prone to anxiety because the need to be in control actually is rooted in the fear of losing control.

People pleaser.

While there is nothing inherently wrong and indeed a good deal right with wanting to please others, the anxiety prone person will please others at the expense of self. That is to say that this person will deny, hide, or suppress there own emotional needs in order to please another person. They often view this course of action as the only means of being accepted by another. They have an excessive need for approval from others.

Unrealistically high self-expectations

This personality trait goes hand in hand with perfectionism. This person will set incredibly high goals for them self and expect that they reach them. While the perfectionist will view “falling short” as a complete failure this person is apt to view falling short of their goals as “just” a failure. They tend to find themselves shrouded in frustration seldom being able to reach their lofty expectations of themselves.

Highly performance conscious

This person doesn’t necessarily have lofty goals or high self-expectations - they are, however, very self-conscious of their performance. Especially when their performance is viewed by others. They can be afraid of falling short either in their own eyes or in what they perceive to be the eyes of others.

Highly sensitive

There is a tendency in panic prone people to be highly sensitive to a wide variety of things. To physical sensations such as pain, hot and cold, taste, smells as well as emotional sensitivities such as personal criticism, guilt, worry, etc. They tend to be highly sensitive to the pains of others as well as in the extremely compassionate personality.

Highly creative

Since most anxiety and panic are caused by our thoughts, the person who is highly capable of creating elaborate mental pictures - or fully scripted stories in their minds eye - is far more susceptible to these kinds of disorders based on their ability to create. They have a tendency to fall into a “what if” kind of thought process. “What if “such and such” happens?” Their “gifted” creative ability enables them to fill in the blanks with a never ending supply of worry pictures.

The doer

This is the person you can always count on to “get the job done” and then some. They are highly capable and very competent to take charge of and lead an organization or project. They will tend to ignore their own physical needs such as sleep and diet in order to succeed in their endeavor.

The “code” communicator

A person who never really says what he or she means. More often than not this person will say what they think someone else wants to hear. This is due to not wanting to be rejected. This person may also have a difficult time saying “no” to another person. They often find themselves volunteering and doing things that they do not wish to be doing.

Health worriers

People who tend to analyze every little detail about their own physical health. They will become almost obsessive in their analyzation of their own illnesses. Those with this personality trait are the ones who seem to worry themselves sick. Sometimes the appear to actually be chronically ill with minor ailments.

Radar

This person can walk into the middle of any situation, know the roles of everyone, and know exactly how they must act to fit in. They have became experts at reading other peoples actions and at knowing how to respond to them.

It may be a good time to stop for a moment and with pen and paper write down as many of your own personality traits as you can which may be similar to some of the above. Try to be as honest with yourself as possible.

THE ROOTS

You may be wondering right about now “where did I get these personality traits that seem to make me susceptible to panic and anxiety?”

While there is no easy answer to this question and sometimes even many years of psychotherapy cannot unravel the mystery - there are some trends. Some clues. And while it is not necessary (or even possible) to learn the exact causes of your anxiety it can be very helpful in the healing process to have some general idea of the causes or the roots of your wound.

Notice that I have used the words “wound” and “healing”. This is because, barring any physical or genetic cause of panic disorder, you have most likely been wounded in your past (childhood) and never been given the opportunity to heal from those wounds. If you can begin to see where you have been wounded, you can begin to recover from those past wounds.

It is the causes of these wounds that we will now begin to explore. They are what are commonly referred to a “environmental toxins”- that is to say - the psychological “poisons” of the environment in which we are raised. The following list is excluding any chemical toxins that may have been uncovered by your physician.

CHILDHOOD ENVIRONMENTAL TOXINS

Psychological abuse

Sexual abuse

Physical abuse

Spiritual abuse

Alcoholism

Critical parent

Overprotective parent

Suppression of feelings (or denial of)

Rigidity in Rules and/or beliefs

Appearance Emphasis/ Performance Emphasis

Separation anxiety (or loss of loved one)

Panic parent

Role reversal (Child cares for parent)

Now let us examine each childhood experience in greater depth. (You may wish to jot down notes of your personal childhood experiences. When doing so try to be as honest with yourself as you can. The idea is to uncover the truth - not to invent any illusions.)

Psychological abuse
Psychological abuse is when one person causes another person to experience extreme mental suffering. Neglect, not fulfilling the emotional needs of a child, threats, constant criticism, abandonment, cruel punishments all fall into this category. Psychological abuse is also any attempt to impede the growth of a child's self-worth. It can include belittling, shaming and name-calling.

Sexual abuse

Any form of sexual contact in which someone is forced, coerced or threatened. Because of being threatened and forced this kind of abuse is also both physical and psychological.

Physical abuse

The result of physical abuse is an injury which is non-accidental in nature. This form of abuse often this includes being hit, pushed, beaten, burned, etc... It can also include forms of cruel punishment which are physical in nature. There is also a great psychological abuse that goes hand in hand with physical abuse. Trust is obliterated and threats are commonplace.

Spiritual abuse

Many religious systems (or churches) are spiritually abusive because they promote shameful or guilt feelings. Often their weapon of choice is fear. They can severely halt or impede the psycho-spiritual growth of their members. In these shame based systems any stepping outside of their belief system is not tolerated. This is also a form of psychological and emotional abuse.

Alcoholism

A family member - mother, father, sister, brother, close relative - who is an alcoholic can contribute significantly to the development of a personality trait that is susceptible to anxiety disorder. One reason may be that the alcoholic can easily be guilty of one or more of the negative influences (listed in this section) of your childhood. A person who is an alcoholic can often be the critical or abusive parent. They can neglect a child's needs or abandon the child for periods of time. In many cases the child has to assume the care giver role to the parent. Even when an older sister or brother living within a child's environment is an alcoholic there will be some level of dysfunctionalism in the environment which can have an adverse affect on the child's emotional development.

Critical parent

When adult behavior and adult expectations are placed on a child by a parent (often a perfectionist) and expressed in an excessive or repeatedly critical way it can emotionally scar the child. When the child reaches adulthood he or she can suffer from deeply internalized low self-esteem or low self-worth. This is a form of dis-empowerment that can lead to high susceptibility to anxiety disorders. Even continual criticizing in a joking or teasing manor can be harmful to a child.

Overprotective parent

Often a parent who is overprotective was a wounded child themself. An overprotective parent is actually trying to protect the child from harm because of the “parents” inability to cope with a negative event. The result of saying “ Johnny, be careful on that bike - you can get badly hurt if you fall” once or twice will not be disastrous. But if a child hears that as a pattern of communication over the course of many years he may become truly afraid that if he takes a risk, something very bad will happen to him.

Suppression of feelings

Often, in a perfectionist household or a family where there is great emphasis placed on appearance there are spoken or unspoken rules that say it is not OK to show your feelings. Messages like “Don’t be sad” , “Don’t cry”, “Don’t show someone too much affection”, “You’re being too emotional”, “Take it like a man”, “You’re acting like a baby” weather spoken or “coded” are damaging to an individual. Feelings are real and important. Discounting them or ignoring only leads to negative results.

Rigidity in rules and/or beliefs

The problem with a rigid set of rules or beliefs is that a child living within this structure can develop a pattern “all-or-nothing thinking.” A ridged rule system where there is no flexibility - no area for “shades of gray” - where everything is thought of in terms of black-or-white and right-or-wrong leaves little margin for error. Being a child is a process of trial and error - of taking risks and pushing parameters. This is how a child develops and grows and finds his or her own uniqueness. Ridged rule systems and ridged belief systems can severely stunt this growth and contribute to an adult-child’s being afraid of healthy risk-taking.

Appearance emphasis/performance emphasis

Again, many times it is the perfectionist parent who seeks there own perception of perfection from their child. They may want the child to look and act like a miniature adult. In school the may express great disappointment in their child if her performance falls anywhere short of perfection. These parents tend to label tolerable behaviors as either “good” or “bad”. (It is in the nature of a two year old to find out if she can get her own way by “throwing a tantrum”. This is not “bad” behavior. It is perfectly normal and healthy behavior. That is not to say that a parent should do nothing when these “tantrums’ arise. It does however mean that “tantrums” are not to be labeled as “bad” and that a two year old throwing a tantrum is not a “bad” child.)

Separation anxiety (Loss of loved one)

Divorce, death, a parent working all the time, or even a parent who is physically present but is separated from the emotional needs of the child can lead to separation anxiety. A child does not yet have the capability to fully understand why a parent is gone unless they are lovingly nurtured through the crisis.

Panic Parent

If a parent or guardian is anxious or experiences anxiety disorders it will make the child more prone to panic personality traits. In fact a parent with any personality disorder can make a child more susceptible to their own personality disorders.

Role reversal

A dysfunctional parent as in the case of an alcoholic or in the case of an adult who is chronically ill, the child may be forced to play the role of caretaker or parent because the parent has assumed the role of a child. The child will become the responsible one in the family system (thinking that someone has to keep the home safe and secure) and will be denied the step by step process of healthy psycho-emotional development. The child may be so afraid that things will fall apart if she does not somehow maintain control of the family situation, that a deeply embedded fear of losing control may develop.

Examine your childhood family system. Do any of these above characteristics sound familiar? If so which ones? Take some time and write down your own thoughts and feelings about each similarity that you may find.