Through This Dark Night - part 4

'Mr President.' Toby spoke the words as he and CJ entered the Oval Office and the man sitting behind the desk, with his head buried in his hands looked up - as though he recognised the sound of his title.

'Toby, CJ,' he looked from one to the other and then pushed himself tiredly to his feet and crossed the room towards them. 'I'm very pleased to see both of you.

CJ wasn't sure that she could look him in the eye - but then he stood before her and she realised that his gaze was compelling.

'Are you both all right?' As he spoke he laid a hand briefly on Toby's shoulder and then touched her hand; reassuring himself that they were both real she guessed.

'We aren't injured,' she offered, not wanting to lay claim to a condition she wasn't sure she was entitled to.

'Thank God,' he paused for a moment apparently lost in thought, 'is there any news?' and she realised that he had been bracing himself to ask - fearing the worse.

'Not yet.' She shared a look with Toby and then continued, 'we have people at the hospital, I spoke to Donna and Mallory on the way here, as soon as there's any news, we'll know.'

'Yes. Thank you CJ.'

'How's Zoe?' Toby asked.

'Upset - she's having trouble taking this all in, but then we all are.'

'I don't know if this will help Zoe,' CJ offered, 'but before we left the scene I saw Charlie. I didn't have a chance to speak to him, but he was conscious, he was being treated for a shoulder wound but it looked...' she stopped herself from saying 'all right' or 'not that serious' and said instead, 'well, it looked like he'd been hit in the shoulder. I don't know if you should tell her or not.'

'Would you want to know?' She couldn't answer that, it wasn't fair to make her speculate.

'Yes.' She was startled by how certain she sounded, by the sudden realisation that not knowing would be dreadful, that her imagination was already creating worse case scenarios about what was happening to her friends. If they could spare Zoe a little of that over Charlie it could only be a good thing.

'Thank you.'

'We'll have some news soon.' Toby said into the ensuing silence, 'we are gathering details of the casualties and where they've been taken for the briefing; CJs going to talk to the press in about 15 minutes.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

'To brief the press, or for CJ to be the one to do it?'

'Both, either.' The President looked away for a moment and then returned his gaze to them. Having found a degree more focus from some deep recess he said, 'surely there are people who can talk to the press other than CJ?'

'There are,' Toby conceded, only wondering a little why CJ hadn't jumped in yet, 'but CJ is here now and if she talks to the press it will convey an impression of normality and we need that.'

'And it has to be tonight?'

'Yes it does. The press will be speculating regardless of what we do or say. The world's eyes are on us more than ever and if we fail to respond it will look as though we have lost control.' The sudden explosion of anger and vehemence that came next was totally unexpected.

'Toby my staff and my friends and God knows how many members of the public were just gunned down in the street tonight. Don't tell me we haven't already lost control!'

'Sir,' CJ watched, fascinated as Toby visibly reined himself in, 'I have no doubt that the decisions we make tonight will be amongst the hardest we will ever make. What happened tonight will live in our memories in perpetuity; we are all beset with fears about our friends and colleagues - understandably. But if we allow those fears to paralyse us then the people who fired their weapons tonight will have achieved exactly what they set out to do - they will have deprived America of the leader it elected and we can not allow that to happen.'

President Bartlet looked Toby in the eye for a long moment, while CJ waited. She knew that their relationship was complicated and sometimes difficult, but that it was founded on respect and affection - and she knew that whatever else happened the President trusted Toby.

'CJ,' he said at last, 'are you sure you're up to this?'

'I need to do my job sir.'

'Very well.'

'We're arranging for you to make a statement in the morning,' Toby added, 'Mandy is putting it together now, we'll work on the content after the briefing.' She half expected another argument but it appeared that Toby had made his point since the President merely nodded. Toby hesitated and she knew he was considering pushing, trying to make the President discuss the content of the statement, but she touched his arm and shook his head, it could wait.

They turned towards the door together but CJ looked back over her shoulder the President looked alarmingly fragile, the reminder that he was human, vulnerable, fallible always shook her.

'Sir, you really ought to try to get some rest.'

'I know I should CJ, but I can't sleep until I have some answers.'

'Mr President,' Mrs Landringham stepped past them into the office, CJ was glad to be spared the necessity of finding an response to that. 'The Head of the CIA is here.'

'Thank you Mrs Landringham,' the President looked at them once more and said softly, 'come back and see me after the briefing, we need to discuss the statement,' and then he turned to greet the man who just might have a few of the answers they all so desperately needed.

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