This April 20 chat event was hosted by teen experts Charlene Giannetti and Margaret Sagarese. Charlene and Margaret are joined by special guest Jane Carter, mom of Backstreet Boy Nick Carter, for a discussion about nurturing your child’s dream.

ParentTime

Charlene Giannetti: We’re ready to start our chat with Jane Carter, mother of Backstreet Boys sensation Nick Carter and up-and-comer Aaron Carter. I’m Charlene Giannetti here with Margaret Sagarese.

Margaret Sagarese: Hi, Jane. Glad you’re here!

Jane Carter: Hi, everyone! I'm glad to be here.

Margaret Sagarese: Let’s go with our first question for Jane.

When did Nick and Aaron decide they wanted singing careers?

Jane Carter: Nick was nine years old when he started singing in the backyard. I discovered him singing “Bridge Over Troubled Water” on a stump. Aaron was about six-years-old when he started singing in the bathtub.

Margaret Sagarese: Jane, was it a sacrifice when you set money aside to give Nick singing lessons?

Jane Carter: Early on in Backstreet Boys, my husband and I used to own a business in Florida, and we sold it so we could devote our time to Nick’s career. So one of us could always be with Nick and the other could stay home. (We had very high phone bills!)

How are your other children dealing with their siblings’ fame?

Jane Carter: They’re doing really well now. At first there was a little jealousy, of course. But I think they all recognize now that everybody has their own gifts and talents to give. And they’ve gone beyond their own jealousy in trying to achieve their own goals.

What do you think of all the attention that both your sons are receiving, especially from females?

Jane Carter: I think it’s perfectly normal for a pop star. They become role models, people idolize them. It’s an important responsibility they have to these girls and to other young people, being in the public eye.

What has fame done to the boys’ social lives?

Jane Carter: Actually, it’s expanded them socially. Aaron and Nick are beyond their years socially because they’ve done so many press interviews. They talk almost on an adult level. If you compare Aaron to another ten-year-old, verbally he’s much more advanced. He’s developed his communication skills from travelling all over the world.

Charlene Giannetti: Jane, what about their schooling?

Jane Carter: I have a tutor who travels with Aaron (the same tutor who traveled with Nick during his early years). What’s nice about it is when we go to all these different places around the world, she incorporates geography into his lessons. Yesterday we were in Berlin and she talked about the Berlin Wall.

I heard that your sons have the same room and that Nick is messy and Aaron is really clean! Is that true?

Jane Carter: At first it was. But now Aaron’s getting messy too. I think it’s the age! When kids become teenagers, they automatically take a little less time on that.

Charlene Giannetti: Does Nick keep a journal? Does Aaron? I think it would be good as a tool and for memories.

Jane Carter: Aaron keeps a journal because it’s part of his schooling. Nick doesn’t keep a journal, but he likes to do drawings. He likes to draw comic book characters.

Does Nick feel like he is missing out on the everyday things that he could be doing at home?

Jane Carter: When he’s travelling — sure he does. Nick loves to be home.

My daughter has this dream to be a singer. She has a beautiful voice and everything, but I don’t know what I have to do to make her dream come true. How should I help her?

Jane Carter: My recommendation is to seek out people in your community — a community theater group. Find a good vocal coach. Also, music stores know a lot of talented musicians who are interested in teaching students. Then you have to take the time to make sure they get their lessons — to fit it into your day. And, of course, find a way to pay for them! The least expensive way to go is through a local music store or community group. They love to have kids in their productions.

How did your life as a mom change when Nick became famous?

Jane Carter: I started travelling a lot more. A lot of kids know my name, they look up to me, they ask me for advice. I’ve kind of become a parent role model for a lot of kids.

Do you think your sons will ever do a duet ? That would be cool because they both have nice voices!

Jane Carter: The truth is they’ve already been planning for some time to do a duet. Even though they have different record companies, it’s already been planned for sometime this year. They may do a remake of a Billy Ocean song, but I’d like them to do something original (perhaps even write it together).

How do you try and even out the attention you give to all your kids?

Jane Carter: When I travel with Aaron, and it’s during vacations, I try to bring some of my other kids with us. I try not to show favoritism to one over another. Even though he’s singing, he knows he’s not any more important than the others.

What are your daughters’ reactions when people say they’re so lucky to have hot brothers?

Jane Carter: They don’t even pay any attention to it! They’re proud of them (they sign autographs too!), but it’s not a big deal to them. They make sure they tell their brothers, “Hey — you’re not so great! You’re just my brother, just one of us.” It keeps the ego in check.

Is Nick a straight-A student?

Jane Carter: No, Nick has never been a straight-A student. He’s never been one to focus on a typical school education. It’s better for him to have done schooling the way he did it, because he doesn’t really focus on many things for long periods of a time. He’s very fidgety and goes from one thing to another really quick. But he’s very smart.

Is it true Nick never takes off his shirt cause you won’t let him?

Jane Carter: Nick never takes his shirt off, but that’s his choice. He still has a little bit of baby fat and he’s shy about it. He eats too many Swiss cake rolls! He has a terrible sweet tooth!

Margaret Sagarese: Wow, Jane! I tell my daughter all the time that talent should be enough. To take off one’s clothes isn’t necessary.

Jane Carter: I agree!

I heard that B.J. also sings. Is this true? Will she or Leslie or Angel start a singing career?

Jane Carter: B.J.’s not the one that sings. She’s looking for an acting or modeling career. She’s been invited to be in a music video by an artist here in Germany. But Leslie has a beautiful voice. And Angel likes to sing too — but mostly in church.

Growing up can be difficult through adolesence. How did Nick deal with his “teenage” problems when he was on the road all of the time?

Jane Carter: There was a point in time when I had to take a step back . . . because he really needed a male role model (my husband) to help him through the pitfalls of being a young man. Thankfully, he’s made it fine and I’m really proud of the young man he’s become. But there were a lot of nervous times for me as a mother.

Do you think that Aaron is coping with his fame well?

Jane Carter: So far he’s doing real well. I’m watching it very closely because, with a child his age, the hardest thing is when everyone around him wants to give him everything. I don’t want him to become so concerned with material things. I want him to focus on what he can give to other talented kids. One way we deal with it is that we don’t really rehearse. He does his show, and if it’s not perfect it’s fine!

Margaret Sagarese: That sounds like a really healthy approach, Jane.

Margaret Sagarese: Jane, mothers need to point out how critical dads are to young teens. You’ve aleady seen that.

Jane Carter: Absolutely! Especially young boys, who tend to gravitate towards their fathers. Girls gravitate towards their mothers.

When you bring the other kids on tour, what do they do about school?

Jane Carter: Right now B.J. and Angel are on Spring Break, but I’m keeping them one week over. So they have their work from school, and Aaron’s tutor is keeping them up with things. Angel loves school and she’s so good at it.

Does Nick plan on attending college soon?

Jane Carter: No, I don’t think Nick is interested in college right now. He’s really into his career. He’s been talking about going into acting as well — which he did when he was younger.

When did Nick start his acting career? And did Aaron act as well?

Jane Carter: Nick started acting when he was ten. He was in a production of Peter and the Wolf (he played Peter). Aaron took a couple of acting classes, but it just got too hectic to run him back and forth. But he doesn’t have an interest in acting.

How do you feel about Nick getting an earring or a tattoo?

Jane Carter: He knows how I feel about that! Definitely not. I think that’s not his image. He wanted to do it because all the other guys were doing it, but I said that wasn’t a reason to do it. You can be original by yourself. If he does do it, it will be his big rebellion.

Charlene Giannetti: Jane, can you tell us parents about Backstreet Boys’ concerts. Are they safe for us to send our teens to?

Jane Carter: Charlene, I think they’re a lot safer than concerts back in our day. It’s a different audience. You don’t see any of the bad things that used to go on at rock concerts inthe '70s. It’s just kids and girls and people with signs that say WE LOVE YOU. The only thing I’m concerned about is the girls in the front at a concert. They don’t put up barricades and it’s dangerous. People tend to push in the back, and they get squeezed. That’s the main parental concern that I would have.

What’s the hardest part about having two famous children?

Jane Carter: The hardest part of having two famous children is not having them together. Right now we're separated. Nick and his dad are home, and Aaron and I are here in Germany with the girls. But this summer, Nick and Aaron are going to be on tour in the U.S., and I’m real excited about that. We’ll have to get a big bus with a kitchen so I can cook. We’ll take the whole family — including the dogs!

Do you ever regret getting your sons started in the business?

Jane Carter: No, I never regret it at all. But there have been times when I ask Nick if he’s happy doing what he’s doing and if he feels I pushed him into this. He says, “Absolutely, Mom, I’m very happy!”

Charlene Giannetti: Does Nick plan more of his career decisions now that he’s 18?

Jane Carter: Yes he’s really in control of everything. That’s what he wants, and I feel comfortable with that. As parents, I feel we’ve taught him all we can teach him about that part of the business. And we have people who are skilled at investments working with him as well. He’s got a good head on his shoulders! I’m really confident in him. He makes up his own mind — that’s for sure!

Do you worry about your boys being exposed to drugs in the music industry?

Jane Carter: If they were going to parties I would definitely be worried. But as long as they don’t go to parties and clubs . . . I’ve really taught them what to watch out for. We’ve been very open about that. Nick is really against drugs big-time — and smoking too! We’re really against smoking. We see lots of kids in Europe and Asia who smoke, and it’s something Nick speaks out against. He tells girls he doesn’t want them to kiss him if they’re smoking.

Mrs. Carter, when you discovered NIck’s singing talent, what did you do to make his dream come true?

Jane Carter: I called up a vocal coach from the Yellow Pages. It turned out to be an older lady named June Daniels who played the piano and had a big bouffant hairstyle. First she thought he was awfully young. But when she started teaching him she said he really had a gift. He started singing Mary Poppins songs accompanied by the piano (“Feed the Birds” was his best one). I think I still have the sheet music to it.

Margaret Sagarese: Jane, keep that sheet music for Sothebys!

What about friends, Jane. Can you be that famous and still have friends?

Jane Carter: Nick and Aaron have lots of friends. When Nick comes home, all the guys know him and love him so much. They come to the house an take him out to play basketball and hang around the house. Nick’s always been really easy to get along with. His peers are very protective of him. Aaron makes a lot of friends out on the road. He’s so outgoing! Everybody on the tour goes swimming and rollerblading. They have water-balloon fights. Its gets pretty rough on our tour bus. They call our bus the “Sesame Street” bus!

Does Nick still do some chores when he gets home? Or do you ever ground him?

Jane Carter: Yeah. About a month ago Nick came home from a tour and pulled out everything from his room (baseball cards, etc.) He didn’t pick anything up. So my husband told him he needed to clean up his room because there were people coming to visit. Nick didn’t clean his room, so he got grounded! He was actually happy, I think, that we were paying attention to what he was doing. Kids want parents to discipline them when they need it. If you let ’em get away with things, they think you don’t care.

Do you ever get tired of putting up with fans?

Jane Carter: Not really, because the fans are what makes the artist. Without the fans, they’re nothing. If you’re not good to your fans, you don’t need to be in the business. You have to show them appreciation of everything they give to you. Sometimes I have to tell someone I can’t give an autograph right now. But they usually understand. The hardest thing for Nick is that he gets so surrounded that it becomes a dangerous situation for him. He doesn’t give as many autographs as he used to for security reasons.

Margaret Sagarese: Jane, is there such a thing as fan etiquette — when not to interfere with a “star”?

Jane Carter: Yes. When they’re eating dinner, leave ’em alone and let them enjoy their time and eat their meals in private!

Does Nick have any different aspirations for the future other than singing?

Jane Carter: Nick has expressed an interest in going into the military, but I don’t see that happening. Not that I’m against it — my husband was in the military and it’s good training for kids.

What do you do to make time pass when Nick’s on tour?

Jane Carter: When I’m at home it seems like I never have enough time to get everything done that I want to get done. Time flies. When we’re on tour, there’s never a dull moment. Time just flies. But at night I get on the phone and talk to my husband.

Has your house become a tourist attraction now?

Jane Carter: It has become a tourist attraction. The day Nick was to arrive home, we had 100 people outside with banners welcoming him. Before that, there were 50 people a day. But we always keep autograph cards there and we give them out. If he’s there, he sometimes goes out to say “hi” to them. They usually know they can catch him if he’s at home. When he walks down the driveway to get the mail, there’s always somebody with a video camera taping him.

Who has been the biggest influence on your children?

Jane Carter: Musically, for Nick, it was Steve Perry and Journey. For Aaron it was the Backstreet Boys themselves.

How often do you get to spend some quality time together?

Jane Carter: We were all together at Christmas. My mom and Bob’s mom and my brother were there. We had a good Christmas. But it’s not as often as I’d like.

Are Nick and Brian really best friends?

Jane Carter: Yes, Nick and Brian really are best friends. Even though Brian’s much older than Nick, he took Nick under his wing and really helped him to feel like a part of the group. For some reason, they were drawn to each other like brothers. Brian was like a big brother to Nick. Brian is a wonderful young man — full of happiness and joy. He makes me laugh!

What do you want Nick and Aaron to do other than their singing careers?

Jane Carter: I’d want them to grow up to be happy young men and happy people. And I want them to give something back for everything they’ve gotten. Particularly, I want them to have compassion for other people. As long as they have those qualities, even if they’re not famous, I’ll feel I’ve accomplished what I should have as a parent.

Margaret Sagarese: Jane will you ever go out there on stage with your boys?

Jane Carter: Aaron tried to do that to me the other night. He made me stand on one spot on the stage. There’s one song they wrote called “Ain’t That Cute.” There’s a line that goes “My mama told me I was too young to love.” They wanted to pull me out during that part in curlers and a bathrobe. I said, “No way!” I’m just happy being in the background watching them.

Charlene Giannetti: Jane, your comments tonight have been inspiring.

Jane Carter: Thanks, Charlene.

Charlene Giannetti: Will you come back again?

Jane Carter: Sure. It was fun! It’s a great way to reach other young people.

Charlene Giannetti: And we hope you enjoy our book. Please let us know what you think.

Jane Carter: Charlene, I love your book! It’s great. It echoes my own views. I highly recommend The Roller Coaster Years to any parent of a teenager.

Margaret Sagarese: Thank you, Jane. Hug the boys for us.

Jane Carter: Okay, I sure will! Thank you very much for everything. Keep the BSB faith alive!