PILOT EPISODE
COOPER: "Diane, I am holding in my hand a small box of chocolate bunnies . . ."
JAMES: (to Donna on the morning of Laura's death) "It's a nice day for a picnic."
COOPER: (upon Bob's candles blowing out)
"Make a wish . . ."
GERARD: "THROUGH THE DARKNESS OF FUTURE PAST, THE MAGICIAN LONGS TO SEE, ONE CHANTS OUT BETWEEN TWO WORLDS . . .FIRE, WALK WITH ME."
EPISODE ONE
COOPER: "You know, this is . . .excuse me . . .a DAMN fine cup of coffee!"
COOPER: (to Albert regarding the Lamplighter Inn in Lewis Fork) "They got a cherry pie there that'll kill ya!"
COOPER: (to Diane) "There are two things that continue to trouble me, and I'm speaking now not only as an agent of the Bureau, but also as a human being. What really went on between Marilyn Monroe and the Kennedys, and who really pulled the trigger on JFK?"
DONNA: (to her mother regarding Laura's death and her discovered love for James) "It's like I'm having the most beautiful dream and the most terrible nightmare all at once."
EPISODE TWO
COOP: (spitting out Lucy's coffee) "DAMN good coffee! And hot!"
ALBERT: (upon arriving in Twin Peaks) "What kind of a two-bit operation are they running out of this treehouse, Cooper?"
HARRY: (to Albert) "I hear you're good at what you do . . .That's good, cause normally if a stranger walked into my station talking this kind of crap, he'd be looking for his teeth two blocks up on Queer Street."
COOPER'S DREAM . . .25 YEARS IN THE FUTURE.
LMFAP: "Let's rock! I've got good news. That gum you like is going to come back in style. She's my cousin. But doesn't she look almost exactly like Laura Palmer?
COOP: "But it is Laura Palmer? Are you Laura Palmer?"
LAURA: "I feel like I know her, but sometimes my arms bend back."
LMFAP: "She's filled with secrets. Where we're from, the birds sing a pretty song and there's always music in the air."
LAURA: (crosses to Cooper, kisses him, and whispers the name of the killer in his ear)
EPISODE THREE
LUCY: (taking notes) "Break the . . .code, solve the . . . crime."
ALBERT: "I've got a lot of cutting and pasting to do, gentlemen, so please--why don't you return to your porch rockers and resume whittling."
COOP: (at Leo's) "Look at that! Ducks on the lake!"
ALBERT: (after Cooper's impassioned speech about TP) "Sounds like you've been snackin' on some of the local mushrooms."
COOP: "This must be where pies go when they die."
HAWK: "Laura's in the ground, Agent Cooper. That's the only thing I'm sure of."
EPISODE FOUR
HARRY: "Morning Lucy. What's going on?"
LUCY: "Thanks to Jade, Jarett decided not to kill himself, and he's changed his will, leaving the towers to Jade instead of Emerald . . .and Emerald found out about it and now she's trying to seduce Chet to give her the new will so that she can destroy it . . . and Montana's planning to kill Jarett at midnight so the towers will belong to Emerald and Montana, but I think she's going to double-cross him and he doesn't know it yet. Poor Chet."
HARRY: What's going on HERE?"
LUCY: "Agent Cooper's with Dr. Jacoby in the conference room."
COLE: (over the phone) "COOPER, WHERE DO WE START? THE PALMER GIRL, OR ALBERT'S NEW BEST FRIEND, HARRY TRUMAN?"
COOP: "Harry, the last thing I want you to worry about while I'm here is some city-slicker relieving himself upstream."
COOP: "In the grand design, women were drawn from a different set of blueprints."
COOP: "Gentlemen, when 2 separate events occur simultaneously pertaining to the same object of inquiry, we must always pay strict attention!"
EPISODE FIVE
COOP: "There's a large group of insane men staying on my floor."
COOP: "Fellas, let's pack a lunch. We're taking a walk in the woods."
BOBBY: (to Dr. Jacoby) "Laura wanted to die."
LOG LADY: "Shut your eyes and you'll burst into flames . . . Fire is the devil, hiding like a coward in the smoke."
LOG LADY: (interpreting for the Log on what it saw the night Laura died) "Dark, laughing, the owls were flying . . . many things were blocked. Laughing . . .2 men, 2 girls. Flashlights passed by in the woods over the bridge. The owls were near. The dark was pressing in on her. Quiet then. Later, footsteps. One man passed by. Screams . . . far away . . . terrible, terrible. One voice . . .
COOP: "Man or girl?"
LOG LADY: "Girl . . . further up, over the ridge. The owls were silent."
EPISODE SIX
COOP: "Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or . . . two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."
ED HURLEY: (speaking to Blackie as Fred, the oral surgeon) "Well I was hoping you might need a little gum work, cause I'd sure like to get a look under your hood."
WALDO (the Mynah bird on voice-activated tape after he was shot by Leo) "Hello, Waldo . . . Laura, Laura . . . don't go there . . . hurting me, hurting me . . . Stop it, stop it, stop it . . . Leo no! Leo no!"
EPISODE SEVEN
JAQUES: (telling Coop what Leo said to Laura when he put the poker chip in her mouth) "Bite the bullet, baby . . . Bite the bullet!"
ANDY: (upon shooting Jaques to defend Harry) "Are you okay, Harry? Better call that ambulance."
HANK: (to Josie) "Once you're in business, you're in business for life. Like a marriage."
PETE: (preparing to enter the burning mill to find Catherine) "She's still MY WIFE!"
EPISODE EIGHT--Beginning of Season Two
OLD MAN: (to Coop on the floor) "I've heard about you!" (gives him a thumbs up)
GIANT: "I will tell you three things. If I tell them to you and they come true, then will you believe me?
COOP: "Who's that?"
GIANT: "Think of me as a friend."
COOP: "Where do you come from?"
GIANT: "The question is, where have you gone? The first thing I will tell you is there is a man in a smiling bag."
COOP: "Man in a smiling bag . . ."
GIANT: The second thing is the owls are not what they seem. The third thing is without chemicals he points."
HARRY: (upon Coop's waking) "Lucy, you better bring Agent Cooper up to date."
LUCY: "Leo Johnson was shot. Jaques Renault was strangled. The mill burned. Shelley and Pete got smoke inhalation. Catherine and Josie are missing. Nadine is in a coma from taking sleeping pills."
COOP: "How long was I out?"
DOC: "It's 7:45 in the morning. We haven't had this much action in one night since the Elk's club fire of '59."
COOP: (after Doc warns him not to go anywhere) "Doc, when the will is invoked, the recuperative powers of the physical body are simply extraordinary. Just give me a couple of hours to get dressed."
In a letter to Donna: "Look into the meals on wheels."
JAMES: "When did you start smoking?"
DONNA: "I smoke every once in awhile. Helps to relieve tension."
JAMES: "When did you get so tense?"
DONNA: "When I started smoking."
LELAND: "Oh, god . . . I feel happy. Begin the Beguine!"
GIANT: Don't search for all the answers at once. A path is formed by laying one stone at a time. One person saw the third man. Three have seen him, yes. But not his body--one only, known to you, ready now to talk."
EPISODE NINE
NORMA: (to the Log Lady) "Margaret. It's always very nice to see you. But if you're going to spit your sticky pitch gum out in the diner, would you please use an ashtray, and not the counter or the booth like you did last time?"
ANDY: (to Lucy) "When the Tacoma sperm bank was looking for donors, naturally I applied. It's my civic duty, and I like whales."
BLACKIE: "Trouble, Miss Horne? You don't know what trouble is. Not by a long shot."
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