Don't Think About Furbys

You know those annoying talking things whose eyes blink and stuff, and they have that infrared sensor in their foreheads? Those FURBYS! They're part of a sinister plot by the Japanese government to gain world domination. Don't look at me like I'm frickin Frankenstein! I know what I'm talking about, really. These "innocent toys" come to life at night and leak subliminal messages into the brains of our children. The Columbine shootings?? Totally Furby induced. I'm warning you, people, these things have got to be stopped immediately!

My main objective is a world-wide Furby Holocaust. The thing is, what do we do with the dead bodies? Here are a few answers to the question, "What should one do with a dead Furby?"

*Skin two for mittens
*Cannon Fodder
*Garden Gnome
*Shove a sharp stick up its butt and make a fine toilet brush
*Make a Furby "stole" for rich ladies to impress their W.A.S.P friends
*Dog chew toy
*Toilet paper
*Paper weight
*Use to balance a wobbly couch or chair leg
*Hood ornament
*Use to fill potholes
*Put one in your back pocket just incase you get a spanking
*Use them for traction under your vehicle's tires if you get stuck in the snow or mud
*Target practice with a gun
*Scrub dirty pots and pans
*Smash one flat and use it for a pot holder
*Put it under that dripping faucet to ease the noise
*Fill it full of rocks and make a doorstop
*Use to wipe your drip stick when checking your oil
*Use as a fire log starter in your fireplace... (works great)
*Toupee
*Silencer for a gun
*Wipe out the cat litter pan
*Use to detonate motion sensitive explosives

***the opinion of the author of this page does not necessarily reflect that of the author of this page***