WOOF! "Are you aware of how mundane having a "Quotes" section or quotes in general on a website is?" Yeah mofo I am, but screw dat'. You ain't the boss of me. Mom? No mom's out cold right now. But semi-seriously, who hasn't run across something wickedly insightful or funny? (or at least you think it's insiteful, which is ok, that's good enough.) Here's my shot at sharing ones I have come across, (and my reasons why) some you may have seen before, hopefully never before but some just won't die. Enjoy already.

Epitaphs will come later.

“In case of accidental indigestion call a mortician.” (Seriously, there are poisons out there that people "accidentally" ingest (Ok, sure) and the bottle or container has the nerve to say, call CDC or your pediatrian, when you know that damage is irreparable and death is eminent. They should put this on the labels of Anthrax.)

“Giant green buds from hell.” – (Excerpt from an explanation by Jason Newsted regarding what? I don’t remember.)

“Expose hypocrisy without being cynical.” (This is an action to be commended, but we all no that this is impossible- see? There I go.)

“Sometimes you have to choose the greater of two goods.” (Ok to drop a ass huge bomb or to not? Live in fear and anger or live in lesser fear or anger?)

“I want a book review, not book report. Not a detailed explanation, but your insight. Not if it’s good or bad, but how it affected you.” (Holy crap, how can a good book not affect you? This is hard.)

“Karma can bite you on the ass.” (Ooh that's gonna leave a mark)

“Stick with it. No matter what you do, just stay in class and stay awake. Watch who you run with cuz’ the people you hang with really determine if you’re going to make it or not.” (Why why why did no one tell me this before? I would have smoked so much weed and took so many power naps during math and english.)

“Do you have those pants altered to hold that stick up your butt?” (How many people do we know need to do that? How many people do this?)

“If it wasn’t for the bullet, nobody would fear the gun.” (By David Lee Murphy. Remember this ya damn pro gun control buttholes. How else do you think you were given the privilege to live on American soil. What exactly did our boys use to fight for freedom? It sure as hell wasn't with waterballoons. OK ok ok if your one of those who believes that the NRA should go to hell, how do you feel about bombs, nuclear weaps, and defending yourself against those types of attack with your fists? Yeah ok start diggin' your grave... now!

Toilet Tip: Throw a blue Popsicle in the toilet to make it appear clean.

Camouflage in the military is OK, outside it’s like look there’s the asshole.

Save the drama for your mamma.

Funny thing about beet, it can mean many or just one.

"Eye for an eye makes the world go blind." (Yeah but we have other senses)

Money is everything, until your freedom is taken away. Freedom is everything.

Always anticipate. Always be prepared.

Anyone ever hear of him? The latest issue of Stuff did a brief piece about him. He passed away in 94’ at the age of 32 of pancreatic cancer. A stand-up comic more along the lines of Lenny Bruce, he was unfairly lumped in with the Andrew Dice Clay crowd, and never really took off. “Hick’s mirrored his own description of his here, Jimi Hendrix, swaggering with ‘a dick like an anaconda blowing in the wind’.” Some of his wit and wisdom…

“I went to a waffle house… I’m not proud of it, but I was hungry… and I’m reading this book, right? A trucker gets up, stands over me and goes, ‘Well, looks like we got ourselves a reader.’ It’s not like I walked into a Klan rally in a Boy George outfit, goddamnit- it’s a book!”

“Cigarettes didn’t kill me… non-smokers kicked the shit out of me one night. I tried to run. They had more energy. I tried to hide. They heard me wheezing. Many of them smelled me.” (Epithet)

On health nuts: “Obnoxious, self-righteous slugs. I’d quit smoking if I didn’t think I’d become one of them.”

Anti-prohibition: “It’s not a war on drugs, it’s a war on personal freedom.”

Anti-government: “Liars and murders.”

Anticensorship: “I love porn. I have tapes that are fucking art.”

Anti-organized religion: “You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see another fucking cross?”

Anti-corporation: “If there’s anybody here who works in marketing, kill yourself.”

Anti-media: “How about a positive LSD story? That would be newsworthy. ‘ Today, a young man on acid realized that we are all consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here’s Tom with the weather.”

New Kids on the Block: “When did mediocrity and banality become a good image for your children? I want my children to listen to people who fucking rocked! I don’t care if they died in puddles of their own vomit!” (Obviously a "popstar" did not say this. And big fat fucking "NO" on a Rock Star being the same as a Pop Star. If that were true, there wouldn't be two words to distinguish Pop from Rock moron! How-friggin-ever The Beatles have to be the only "Pop/Boy" band to exist.)

“You know your old when you’re going to more funerals than you do weddings.” From Esquire

“Knowledge speaks… but wisdoms listens.” Jimi Hendrix

“Don’t take shit from anyone. Ever.”

“No sweat off my sac.” An expression of apathy.

“Some call it Rap, others call it Hip Hop. I call it Rip Rop.” – Snoop Dog, from “Snoop Secrets” Spoof from Conan O’Brien.

“[The term] Homosexual, is where one person has sex with one person his entire life.” Sitcom Spin City.

“I can hear these guys getting fatter.” Line from drama UC Undercover said when heavy men were eating while under surveillance.

Take nothing but pictures Kill nothing but time Leave nothing but footprints

For the Fallen - They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old. Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn, at the going down of the sun and in the morning. We will remember them. - Laurence Binyon, 1917

"Dress as you want society to see you, not how Society sees you." - ?

Black Sabbath
"Sabbath crawled into the light of day at the precise moment in the evolution of rock when the '60's party, so to speak, was terminating. Emerging from psychedelia as a no-frills working-class rock 'n' roll band, they were pale and greasy and ugly in a combination only the English Midlands could produce. They were reared in the birthplace of heavy metal-it's only here, where the meadow meets the factory and the cows drink industrial sewage, here and in the American Midwest, that heavy metal really makes sense."

"Me don' love fighting. But it's better to die fighting for freedom than to be a prisoner all the days of your life."-Bob Marley