- Some of -
* MY GREATEST ADVENTURES! *
- By Coleman Wheeler -
Exploring, Vicariously, As a Child:
And Then, As a Youth, with My Brother, Mick:
And Later, with My Brother & Friends:
And as a Teenager:
Winning a "Twist" Dance Contest
As A Young Adult:
And As An Adult:
Personally Garnering Celebrity Support
-= SUCH IS THE STUFF THAT MEMORIES ARE MADE OF! =-
About All the Adventures of
"Tarzan of the Apes" & "Bomba the Jungle Boy"
(While Drinking Hot Ovaltine: )!
of Many Unexplored Underground Caverns
Searching for Blue Clay (& Diamonds),
& Trekking For Miles
Through the Labyrinth of Dark Storm Drain Pipes
Under the City of St. Louis, Missouri,
While Wearing Carbide Lamps on Our Heads,
In Search of Alligators (??)!
Swimming in a Back Country Stream,
Getting Lots of Blood-Sucking Leeches
All Over Our Bodies,
& Having to Pull Them Off of Each Other!
(Yecch!)
While Hiking With My Brother & Dad
On Top of The Tall Cliffs Above Devil's Lake WI,
& Climbing Down The Cliff's Face In The Dark
Without A Flashlight!
& Winning a Pair of Saddle Shoes
in a "Jitterbug Contest" on
The "St. Louis Hop" TV Show!
climbing up to my 40'-perch in a tall tree
overlooking the Order of The Arrow Tap-Out
ceremonial grounds
at Beaumont Scout Reservation outside Eureka, Missouri -
while holding 2-flares in my outstretched arms
& loudly chanting "The Omaha Tribal Prayer"
& the "Zuni Sunrise Song"
before throwing my 2-torches
into the huge 6'-foot tall bonfire below me
to magically start the fire & the ceremonies.
(I Still Have Scars On My Arms From The Hot, Dripping, Sulphur: )!
To The "Angels Landing" Monolith
With 1,500' Sheer Vertical Drop Offs
On Both Sides of The Narrow Rock Trail
Atop Zion National Park, Utah!
The Creator & The Trickster
in Pacific Northwest Indian Lore,
in a Tlingit Indian Family Ceremony
in Alaska!
"Rip Van Winkle" & "Legend of Sleepy Hollow"
in the Hudson River Valley; Herman Melville's "Moby Dick"
& Henry David Thoreau's "Walden" in New England;
Jack London's "Call Of The Wild" & Robert Service's "Ballads"
in Alaska; Mark Twain's "Adventures of Tom & Huck"
on the Mississippi; & Robert Louis Stevenson's "Treasure Island"
in the Caribbean!
while Watching Howler Monkeys Playing in the Jungle Canopy
Overhead, near the Sandanista's Training Ground
along the Costa Rican/Nicaraguan Border!
-= What a MIRACLE! =-
(Home of the Camarata Indians)
amidst the Massive Cataracts of Water & Tepuys,
of the Venezuelan Amazonian Outback!
in The Caribbean, North, South & Central Americas,
Mexíco, Western Canada & Alaska - & Getting Upclose
& Personal with Wild Bear, Barracuda, Mountain Goats,
Tufted Puffin, Killer & Humpback Whales,
and the Indigenous Camarata, Choco, Kuna, & Tlingit Indians enroute!
2-Raccoons("Sparky I & II"), a Six-Foot Alligator,
a Three-Toed Sloth ("Speedy" : ), a Goat ("Sky"), a Pony ("Huckleberry",
An Aquarium of Tropical Fish,
and a Yard (& House) Full of Dogs, Cats, Parakeets, Ducks, & Chickens!
Texas, and All Around New Mexico - & Back, for a Month!
Grand Opera, "The Saint of Bleeker Street", as Guest
of Mr. & Mrs. Joseph P. Riley, Sr.; Mother & Father
of the Mayor of Charleston, SC during "Spoleto Festival USA"!
amidst the Wild, Towering, Red Rock Formations
of "Arches National Monument" of Moab, Utah
& Coordinating a "Dill Pickle Juice Spitting Contest"
in Redstone, Colorado - Both with my Kids: )!
on their Picture-Postcard-Perfect
Palm-Studded, White Sand Beaches of the San Blas Islands
(off the Panamanian Coast)
via Jungle Airplane and Dugout Canoe!
being Engulfed by a Flash Flood
& Running For My Life Naked from it,
as it Literally Swept thru My Tent in the Middle of the Night!
In The Mountains & Forests of Colorado!
Buddhist, Christian, Hindi, Native American, Sufi Monastery
in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains of Northern New Mexico!
of Thousands of Sea Crabs, in San Cristobal, Panamá -
(& Scolding U.S. Soldiers Who Were Laughingly Putting Them
On The Railroad Tracks To Be Killed By The Train, Just For "Kicks")!
Contemporary Performance of Mozart's "The Magic Flute",
at the Historic Walnut Theatre, the Oldest Theatre in America
in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania!
(with Doors Removed)
through the 3,212' High Cloud-enshrouded Tepuys (Mesas)
of the Venezuelan Amazon -
to Photograph the Highest Waterfall
in the World - Angel Falls -
(15-times higher than Niagara Falls)
in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "Lost World"!
into the Three Underwater "Treasure Caves of Ben Gunn"
along the Seaside Cliffs of Uninhabited Norman Island
(The Setting for Robert Louis Stevenson's "Treasure Island")
in the British Virgin Islands,
& Getting Stung By a Flotilla of Jellyfish
Leaving me Convulsing Uncontrollably for 2-Hours!
New Mexico in the Footsteps of the Ancient Anasazi Indians!
For 3 of My Favorite Causes:
San Francisco Mayor "Willie Brown",
National Columnist "Rex Wockner",
& Lambda Legal Defense Fund's "Evan Wolfson"
For "Scouting For All"
&
"Perez Hilton"
For The World's First
"GLBTQ Online High School"
&
Olympic Diving Champion "Greg Louganis"
& "Perez Hilton" For "QAMP"!
from Bangkok, Thailand by Chance - Following my Dramatic arrival
by Plane: A Spectacular Golden Sunset followed by
a Full-Spectrum Rainbow Completely Encircling My Plane,
followed by an Intense Lightning Storm
at the St. Paul-Minneapolis Airport!
& Underground Salt Caverns, Both Near Bogota, Colombia!
of the Pacific Ocean along the Pristine Black & White
Volcanic Sand Beaches of Rural Panamá!
Dr. Benjamin Spock & his wife, Mary Morgan,
at my Home in Arkansas and Shipboard
while docked at the Caribbean Island of Tortola,
in the British Virgin Islands!
Through The Big South Fork Gorge
of The Cumberland River In Kentucky,
Whitewater Canoeing On The Buffalo National River In Northern Arkansas,
& The Kaskaskia River In South-Central Illinois!
and Houseboating, into The Grand Canyon of Arizona!
Barefooted, within the Sacred Garden
in the Spiritual Community of New Harmony, Indiana!
in the Colorado Rocky Mountains;
and Sleeping in My VW Bus, with 2-Friends,
in West Yellowstone, Montana one Winter
Surrounded by 6-Feet of Snow!
Director of The Tibetan Buddhist Cultural Center of Bloomington, Indiana.
by Dugout Canoe - in the Heart of the Unexplored
Daríen Jungle between Central & South America!
at Historic Boone Hall Plantation, South Carolina
(the Setting for "Gone With The Wind",
on the 50th Anniversary of the Film)
which included Horse Races, Drinks, & Appetizers,
along the Avenue of Spanish Moss-Draped Live Oaks,
Gospel Singing at the Slave Quarters,
Antebellum-Dressed Hostesses,
A Sumptuous, Torchlit, Outdoor, Southern Banquet,
The Music of the 65-Piece Charleston Symphony Orchestra,
on the Great Lawn, concluding with a Spectacular
Aerial Fireworks Display over the Plantation!
of Actor Hal Holbrook's "Mark Twain Tonight" Stage Manager
On Martha's Vineyard Island!
into Panamá City, Republic of Panamá,
following the American Military's Invasion,
"Operation Just Cause",
to the Exhalted Cheers
of the Panamanian People!
from the Top Deck of my Cruise Ship
while Sailing the Pitch-Black Seas of the Caribbean!
at Teotihuacan,
the Zapotec Civilization at Monte Alban
(near Oaxaca)
and Mayan Chichen Itza (in the Yucatan),
and Swimming in The Crystal-Clear Water among the Stalactites & Stalagmites
in the Sacred Underground Cavern Cenote -
In Mexico!
"Patterson Glacier" - 7,000' high, in the Snow-Covered
Coastal Mountain Range above Petersburg, Alaska!
and getting to know the Roust-A-Bouts & Side Show "Freaks"
First-Hand!
Cool, Clear, Sweet, Fresh Water Stream,
Flowing out of the Hot Tropical Rainforest,
through the Multi-Coloured Sand Beach
at Marenco Biological Station
on Costa Rica's Isolated Osa Peninsula,
and into the Warm, Salty, Pacific Ocean!
surrounding Lake Powell, Utah -
Getting Stuck Up to My Hubcaps
in the Quicksand-Like Quagmire on the Lake's Edge!
Disciple of His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, The Spiritual Leader of Tibet!
With a 3-Foot Long Barracuda in the Shallows
just off the Beach in Cancun, Mexico;
Snorkeling the Palancar Reef Near Cozumel, Mexico;
& with a Wild 6-Point Deer,
while Camping near Aspen, Colorado!
from the Daríen Jungle near Colombia, South America,
to the U.S., on the Inter-American Highway
through Panamá, Costa Rica, Honduras, El Salvador,
Nicaragua, Guatemala, & Mexico
& getting to know the pleasant Folks enroute!
by Lanternlight, in Venezuela -
and getting pelted,
in the dark, by thousands of Seeds,
thrown by the Rare, Shrieking Guacharo Birds!
on the Ute Mountain Indian Reservation
with Ute Indian Guide - in Southern Colorado!
of Forested, Ozark Mountain Land
into a Liveable Homestead
(incl. Road, Log Cabin, Wood Cooking & Heating Stoves,
Kerosene Lanterns, Chickens for Eggs, Goat for Milk,
Gravity-Flow Spring, Fishing Pond, Fruit Orchard,
Vegetable Garden, & Outdoor, Wood-Burning Hot Water Heater
with Claw-Footed Bathtub)
And Living on it for Over 4-Years on $1,000 a Year!
while Deep-Sea Fishing (& Steering the Boat)
80-Miles off the Coast of Central America
in 8-foot Seas!
on the Lake amidst the desolate Desert Sand Dunes
of Southern New Mexico!
Swimming, Soaking, & Camping at Many Different
Natural Thermal Hot Springs, Geysers, & Hot Mud Baths enroute!
in the Caribbean, & Flying in a Water-Landing Bush Plane
to Taku Glacier Wilderness Lodge in Alaska!
to Uninhabited Little Tobago Island in the Lower Caribbean;
then Hiking the Jungle Trail (Teeming with Slithering Snakes)
to View the Beautiful, Rare, Red-Billed Tropic Birds,
Soaring from the Oceanside Cliffs!
of Actively-Calving, Translucent-Blue
"Marjorie Glacier"
Deep-Inside Glacier Bay National Park, Alaska!
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