Chapter 12

My jaw dropped for the second time that day. Janie Parker? How could he? He always had said he had hated her, too. I stood up, ready to rage. Then I thought about it. (Thinking-what a concept) He was allowed. He could hang out with whoever he wanted to.

"Really?" I asked, shocked still, sitting down.

"No," he laughed.

"Now you're in for it! Monkey-breath! How dare you scare me in such a filthy manner?"

He merely smiled, amused.

"Answer me," I shouted.

"Monkey-breath?" he asked.

I burst out laughing. Suddenly, Max appeared with a chocolate suicide.

"Looks good," Zac said, waiting for me to catch my breath.

"Yes, thanks, Max," I said. I turned to Zac. "Race ya to the bottom?"

"Nah," he replied, coyly eating a spoonful of hot fudge. "Then again...onyourmarkgetsetgo!"

We dug in, eating as fast as our jaws could move, and then, when we were eating at top speed, we only ate faster, until we both stopped, mouths full, three quarters of the ice cream finished, with ice cream headaches.

"Oh..."

"Mmphmm..."

We sat there, squeezing our temples and swallowing. When the headache went away, I sat there eating a single spoonful of fudge. Zac looked at me knowingly. Simultaneously, spoons in hand, we shot forward and started again. We didn't stop until it was done. I looked at the empty dish, dumbfounded. I looked at Zac.

"Ohhhh, man..." he stated.

"My lordy be."

"I agree."

"Hey Max," I called when I found enough energy to speak. "Check please," I offered, and he came running over.

"Lands! How did you do that?" he asked astoundedly.

"Depression and hunger," I answered.

"That'll do it every time. Here you go," he said, giving me the check.

I put my money on the table. So did Zac.

"I'm paying!" we shouted at the same time. "No, I am!"

"Zac!"

"Sari!"

"I'm older. I'm paying. You're too young to pay."

"If I'm old enough to earn my own money, I'm old enough to be able to afford a few bucks for ice cream!"

"I don't care."

"Fine, if you don't care, let me pay!"

"No!"

"You're obnoxious. I'm waiting outside," he said matter-of-factly. "Bye Max!"

"Here you go, Max," I said, giving him the money. "Thanks so much."

"Anytime, Sari," he winked.

I stepped outside. The sun was setting. We have pretty sunsets in Oklahoma. Zac was looking at the golden sun dreamily. I couldn't bear to break his train of thoughts, so I silently walked over to where he was standing. We stood for several minutes, just thinking about anything and everything. I thought about what Isaac had told me yesterday-that the stars were the same in Canada as they were here. As I stared at the setting sun, I thought of something that contradicted that statement. The sun sets at different times all over the world. The world was a big place, and Isaac had traveled most of it. Most of the time, he wasn't here, but somewhere else. Somewhere else where, when I was sleeping, it was mid-day and he was performing. He didn't see the stars at the same time that I did. How could he possibly feel them at the same time as me? I wanted more than anything to ask him.

"Zac?"

"Yeah?"

"Ready to go?"

As an answer, he began walking. We walked the full way in silence. When we got back to his house, all the cars were in the driveway.

"Thanks for treating me, Sari."

"Sure."

"Coming in?"

"Um, if it's not too much to ask, can Taylor come out?"

"Of course. Hold up," he said. He kissed my cheek hastily and ran inside. That surprised me. I held my hand to my face.

"Sari, what's wrong?" Taylor asked protectively as soon as he stepped out the door.

"Come on," I said, leading him to Dreamland.

When we got there, I closed my eyes and listened to the crickets making music, the bullfrogs croaking, and a few birds chirping.

"Sit down, Taylor."

He did. I sat next to him, breathing deeply, trying to hold in my dam of tears. Finally, the dam burst.

"Oh, Tail!" I cried, burying my head in his shoulder and crying like a baby. He hugged me and we rocked back and forth.

"Shh," he comforted me. "Sari, tell me what happened."

"M-Mom's pregnant."

Taylor pulled back in disbelief. He looked as shocked as I had felt.

"Don't start asking questions, I can't quite understand it myself."

And he didn't. He just hugged me again and we resumed our rocking position. We sat like that until the sun had completely set. I looked up. The stars were out. Silently, we switched into the cloud-watching position. I began thinking of Isaac again. He was so beautiful, inside and out. Taylor's sweet singing voice began to ring out, stopping my racing thoughts and almost forcing me to just listen.

"Sometimes the snow comes down in June

Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon

I see the passion in your eyes

Sometimes it's all a big surprise..".

He was singing my thoughts. I mean, really, think about it. Just when everything seems to be all fine and dandy, the snow comes down in June. The world crashes around you, and it all comes down at once.

"All of the nights you came to me

When some silly girl had set you free

You wondered how you'd make it through

I wondered what was wrong with you

'Cause how could you give your love to someone else

And share your dreams with me

Sometimes the very thing you're looking for

Is the one thing you can't see..."

Why couldn't Isaac see? Was it that hard to comprehend, I CARE about the guy!

"And now we're standing face to face

Isn't this world a crazy place?

Just when I thought our chance had passed

You go and save the best for last

Sometimes the very thing you're looking for

Is the one thing you can't see..."

The stars are the same over Tulsa. When I wished on a star that Isaac was thinking of me, was he doing the same? Was he wishing for his soulmate to come around and about?

I sat up abruptly and he stopped singing.

"What is it?" he asked gently, not even angry I had interrupted his song.

"Why can't he see?"

"Sari-" he stopped. He wanted to tell me something but was afraid of my reaction, I could tell.

"What, Taylor? Tell me, I can handle it! Did he spend the day saying how ugly and fat I am? Did he get another gorgeous girlfriend over the course of a day? Did he not even mention my name? Did he-"

"NO, Sari!"

"First off, I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and secondly, he'd be an idiot if he DID get a girl!" He paused, breathless. Taylor thought I was beautiful. For some reason, that made my world to hear the words come out of his mouth.

"Thirdly," he continued. "Thirdly, did you think, for one second, that it's even remotely possible that someone else might?"

"Might what?"

"See you!" he shouted, exasperated.

"Taylor, you were singing that song, and it was about the world crashing down in your face, except that Vanessa Williams got a happy ending out of it. The stars over Tulsa are the same as they are everywhere else. And I always wish on stars that Isaac is thinking of me when you're not here, but I haven't wished that tonight because I've suddenly come to the heartbreaking realization that it's not going to happen! Why should I bother?" I paused, now I was out of breath. "Wait a sec, what did you say?"

"I asked if there was even a remote possibility that someone besides Isaac could see you," he repeated quietly.

"I guess it's possible, but the question is, could I see someone else?"

"Well, could you?"

I thought about it a minute. Could I? Could I grow out of my life-long affection for Isaac?

"I-I don't know. I mean, even if I like another guy, my heart is still with Isaac. It happens every time. I don't know if I could ever love somebody else completely. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious."

He was lying through his teeth, I could tell. He was blushing and wouldn't look me in the eye. I decided not to make something of it.

"Taylor?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanna go?"

"Yeah..."

We walked silently back to Taylor's, holding hands and glancing occasionally up at the moon. For some reason, the thought crossed my mind that the first chocolate suicide I had ever finished, I had finished it with Zac and not Taylor.

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Chapter 13

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