Style, Fashion, and Moi!
I’ve never been what you might call “fashionable.” In fact, the best definition I can think of for my unique personal style is “dork incognito,” or maybe “undercover librarian.” Terms which are actually misleading, because my dorkiness is rarely disguised—I purposely dress to look like a dork (so much easier that way: what you see is what you get).
               In my mind, clothing should be chosen for two purposes: comfort and anonymity.
                Comfort is very nearly impossible when it comes to girls clothing these days. It seems like everything is either tight, made from horrible fabric, or hideously ugly—not to mention that greatest of evils, skin-exposing! Needless to say, this pisses me off.
               Now, I don’t really mind tightness, at least shirt-wise. as long as it doesn’t strain at the armpits (freedom of motion is essential) it can be as clingy as it wants. tight pants, however, I can’t stand. if its going to inhibit my ability to breathe, I don’t want to wear it! I do have one pair of jeans that are fairly snug and sexy without being really tight, but they just can’t compare to my favorite jeans: the loose, worn out ones with the faded seat and ripped knees. I love those jeans because they’re comfortable. I can get stuff out of the pockets without having to stand up. They’re soft enough to sleep in. Its beyond me how anyone can function properly in uncomfortable clothing.
               Now comes the conspiracy theory: skin-exposing clothes. It is my belief that the fashion industry is creating more and more skin-exposing clothing in a attempt to sluttify girls of increasingly younger ages. Its practically hopeless to look for satisfactory summer shirts or dresses that have both a) sleeves and b) a neck. Everything is either low-cut, sleeveless, or both. It’s not like I’m making an outrageous demand here! Sleeves that cover at least 1/3 of my upper arm, and a neckline that comes somewhere in the vicinity of my collarbone—is that too much to ask? As for dresses, it’s impossible (yes, impossible—I haven’t found one yet) to find a nice, elegant, dress that covers you up properly and isn’t a frumpy old lady dress. They’re even doing this downsizing thing with pants now: everything is capri. Capri shorts, capri pants, capri overalls….sadly, that last one is not a joke.
                I’m not sure if I want to live in a world where there’s such a thing as “capri-alls.”
               Basic t-shirts seem to be the only area where the skin-exposing rule doesn’t hold. You know what I mean—and t-shirts, shirts with slogans on them, the kind of t-shirts that come in only two sizes: X-large and baby tee.
               Moving on…anonymity. It’s important to me that I not be recognized unless I wish to be. Naturally, this rules out most loud colors or patterns. While I can, every now and then, step out of my anonymity, I must do so on my own terms (such as wearing my pink cowgirl hat, bright turquoise hoodie, or leopard-print cat ears). Beyond these occasional aberrations, I dress so that as few people as possible will notice me. This dictates a certain neutrality of wardrobe—jeans, t-shirt, grey hoodie…and my one constant allowance to individuality—my bright blue sneakers!