i have a small obsession with brains.

or rather, violence towards brains. i’m obsessed with lobotomies and trepanation. i often mention brain-sucking aliens and brain-eating zombies. the doodles in the margins of my notebooks tend to look like brain coils. when people ask me how i am, i often respond in a monty-python-gumby voice, “doctor, my bbbrain hurts!” my favorite part of the movie ‘starship troopers’ (indeed, the only good part) was the line “they sucked his brains out!” i empathize with winnie-the-pooh when he says he is a bear of very little brains. see, i don’t have brains anymore.....
i have a theory. it’s a rather disgusting theory (you may want to stop reading now), but every day i become more convinced that it’s true. see, my theory is that aliens have eaten my brain and replaced it with poo. yes, poo. this explains a lot. the constant headaches, for one. it’s not sinus pressure (as i’ve been led to believe) but rather it’s my brain’s desperate attempt to reject the poo. when i’ve been doing too much homework and my brain just melts, its a kind of mental diarrhea. when i can’t do any homework because my brain simply refuses to function, its like mental constipation.

in short, i am, literally, a shit-for-brains.

i would like to be able to take out my brains and clean them. i was discussing this with my uncle the other day, and we decided that since society is all ready somewhat familiar with the concept of the “brain floss,” it is our duty to make them aware of the “brain enema.”
yes, it’s kind of gross, and perhaps not very mature. but, well....that’s why its in the middle of the zine, not the beginning.