A True Story
(Author Wishes to Remain Unknown)
Have you ever had something right in front of you one moment, and then the next you discover that it is no longer there? Has that something ever been a close friend or family member? If so, you will be able to relate to this article very well.
Recently, my family and I have experienced something that you can never quite be prepared for. It is something that, to me, is God's way of giving you a reality check on life - in a terrifying, heartbreaking way. Just a couple of weeks ago, I experienced the first death in my family. It wasn't even a couple days before when I was talking to my friends (and I have no idea how the topic came up) and I mentioned, "I have never been to a funeral in my life, because I've never had anyone in my family die." It was almost as if I had jinxed myself…
I remember the phone call at about 6:00 in the morning. My great-grandmother, 91 years old and in perfect physical health, had fallen in her room at the nursing home she lived in. Apparently, she had hit her head on the floor when she fell, but seemed alert and well. However, the nursing home's procedure was that the resident had to be taken to the hospital as a precaution. So, Grandma was taken to the hospital, and my mom decided to go along and make sure everything was going okay. The only thing I knew when I left for school that day was that my grandmother had fallen, but she was up talking and walking with the nurses and seemed to be okay.
The real test of my strength and courage came later that day. I had come home from school on our lunch break, and just as I picked up the phone to call my mother at work - it rang.
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm still at the hospital," Mom said.
"Okay, how is Grandma?" I asked. "Have they taken her back to the nursing home yet?"
There was a short pause and a bit of a deep breath on the other end of the phone. "She's… not good," my mom said, "she's not going to make it."
My only reaction was to drop open my mouth, and as I felt my eyes growing wider I screamed, "WHY?" I just couldn't understand it. My grandmother had fallen many times before, and every time she was fine. Even the nurses said that there was only a tiny bump on her head… Why all of a sudden are they saying she won't make it? I just didn't understand.
Mom began explaining that when Grandma had fallen, there had been some internal damage done, and there was massive bleeding in the brain. The doctors had told my mom that there was nothing they could do to save her, and that she would have less than 24 hours to live. At that moment, my strength became weakness, and the tears began flowing as I just kept asking "Why? Why? Why?……."
That afternoon, I went back to school, red-faced and teary eyed with a sadness eating a hole in my heart. My friends comforted and consoled me as I waited for my mother to pick me up from the school. My only worry was if I would get to see my great-grandmother one last time before it was too late. I kept staring at the clock, wishing all time would stop to give her just a few more minutes to hold onto. I did make it to the hospital in time, but my grandma was in a complete comatose stage and her respiratory rate was profusely declining. There was not much time left.
I fought to hide back the tears as I watched other family members come and go. The hardest was watching my other grandma, my great-grandma's daughter, have to say goodbye and knowing that she would never see her mother alive again. Even though my great-grandma was totally unconscious, I like to think that she could hear us. My mom, aunts and uncles stood around telling funny, memorable stories about Grandma. She was always a fun one, that's for sure. We always say "If she stepped on your toe, she'd kill you apologizing." Grandma hardly ever got upset, and when she did, she felt absolutely terrible. She was always in high spirits, and even in her last years when she was a bit "confused", she was continuously happy to be where she was.
It was rough to say my goodbye, but I managed. That night Mom stayed at the hospital and said she would call when the time came. I stayed in my room… awake all night. The doctors had said that it was usually around 3:00 A.M. when it would happen. Well, 3:00 came and went… no phone call. Finally around 5:30 A.M., the phone rang. "Well, it's over…" my mom said. By that time I was prepared to hear that part, but as the day progressed, it began to sink in more and more. I went ahead and attended school that day, but I was extremely exhausted - physically and emotionally.
Today, I wear the cross and guardian angel necklace that my great-grandmother wore religiously every day. I miss her greatly, and my heart is still saddened when I remember that I cannot see her anymore, but I have learned a huge lesson in life. You never know when something is going to just disappear from your life. People always say when they lose somebody, "I wish I had done more…" Yes, I wish I had done more, but now it is too late, and I know that my grandmother still loves me for all that I did do, and I still have the many precious memories of her. After all, I believe that I will see her again someday - in Heaven. It's not easy losing a loved one, especially the first time. But what I have come to realize is that I need to see that she is in much better hands now than she ever could have been here. Now she can dance and sing and cook and play with animals and do all the things that she loved to do, and there is nothing that can stop her. I have to learn to let go… Not to let go of the memories or the love, but I have to let go of the pain.
My purpose for this article was not to gain your sympathy nor to scare you. My intention was to remind you not to take things for granted, and most importantly, never neglect the things you love. You never know when something is going to drift too far away from your grasp and disappear, so you always have to be prepared for what lies ahead. Even though it's hard, try to have inner strength through the tears in a time like this. Most importantly, always remember to say "I love you".
Dedicated to my Great-Grandmother, Cora Lee.
