Special Things Said & Done

When I asked if anyone would like to say something at Kaitlyn's Funeral the room went silent. Then I heard my mom say..."I will!" These words were not rehersed...they were spoken from her heart.

"What can I say about Kaitlyn? From the moment I found out that Kim was going to have this baby my heart just swelled with such joy & love. The first moment that I saw her she just captured my heart & I know she has done this with all of you, with her parents. In the last 13 days Kaitlyn has made such a mark in our lives. She has shown us that we need to love one another. That Jesus taught us this..'The greatest of all is love!' We spent (Sharyn, Elliott, Steve, myself,Troy & Kim) a number of days going into the NICU (we'd take turns). I want you to know that I saw (with my own eyes) the love of this child when Kim talked to her and would tell her that she loved her. Kaitlyn would turn her head and look at my daughter and I know that this child knew her mother and knew of her mother's unlimited love for her (and Sharyn told me the same of Troy). I would talk to her and tell her that her 'Nana's' (Sharyn & I) loved her and her grand-dad's (Steve & Elliott) loved her. That we all loved her. We all prayed that she would be with us. This child is by far the most valiant little person that I have ever had the privilage to know. She had such courage and stamina & wanted us to believe that it was going to be okay that she was going to leave us. She was going to be a little angel in heaven.

And I must tell you that I got very angry at God. I could not understand why he would take this child from us?! From two such loving parents as Troy & Kim. But we must all understand that God loves us and he has a plan for us. I know that someday when I go to heaven I am going to see my little granddaughter & I am going to rejoice with her!

The solace that I have, the comfort that I have (because it hurts me, it hurts every parent to see our children go through this) I must tell you that God has comforted me because I have seen (and we don't see it anymore with too many young people today) with my own eyes the love that Kim & Troy have for one another. And they will draw strength from one another. I know that & God has shown me that. Kaitlyn has shown me....

I call myself a Christian, but yet I have not been attending church and not praying regularly. God knows that. He sees that. From the moment this child was born I had been praying. She (Kaitlyn) taught me to do this again. That I need to commune with God. That I need to go to his table. This is what she has left for me. She has also given me this wonderful family. Now I'm not just talking about my son, my other grandchildren, my husband, but a new family. Now I've known Troy's parents for a number of years and its basically been just in passing. But this child has brought these people into my life. Sharyn is like a sister to me. I love her with all my heart & Elliott like a brother. These are the things I have learned from Kaitlyn & I will never forget. She will always be in my heart! I will always carry her in all my thoughts as each day goes by. And as I said, I will rejoice when I am able to meet with her again in God's kingdom. Thank you dear God for allowing me to have this little Angel in my heart!"

Kaitlyn's Nana also sang two of her favorite hymns & dedicated them to her:What a Friend we Have in Jesus (This is the you have been listening to )& Rock of Ages.

Mother's Day: A day filled with mixed emotions!

This day is one flooded with pain & sorrow (because both my children are in heaven and not on earth with me) and it also is a day that I'm thankful that Ryan & Kaitlyn were (& still are) a part of my life (as short as it was).
Most women are not as blessed as I am when it comes to their mother & father-in-laws. On my first Mother's Day without Kaitlyn (just 3 months after losing her I did not know if I wanted to even think about that day as being something special. Both my children are in heaven. To my suprise...Yes, I felt I should be acknowledged as Ryan & Kaitlyn's Mom! Why should it be okay to pretend that my children did not exist? Why was it okay to pretend that I was not their Mother still? I am still their mother!) they sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers in a pot that had 4 places for placing my precious pictures inside and a card that was just perfect. It stated: "Today, may your heart be touched by the love you have known and the joys you have shared. Today, may you find comfort in knowing that caring, gentle thoughts are with you on Mother's Day". On a personal note they wrote: "We saw what a caring and loving Mother you were to Kaitlyn while she was here on earth with us and how you continue to show your love for your family by keeping alive our memories of Ryan and Kaitlyn. Thank you for being a great daughter-in-law. We love you, Elliott & Sharyn". I was so touched by this. I will always remember these caring actions of love.

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