STIGMATA
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XIV
STIGMA
Thus gazed
I upon the earth
For a glimpse of gladness
Distrait to the Barrage of sadness
That would whelm my heart With the aching
Of life's hostility in the making
And dreamed I The joyous dream
Once and again
'Tis only a reverie!
In the straits of life, Forevermore to remain
On the boundaries of What held me sane
And sang I the song of life alone
In the quietness of my hollow
Lone as a knave Of a demon's shadow
Scourge's arrow
Shot at the heart of my youth
My secret to contain
In solitude of soul
My bane to muse
My dignity its toll
Ah, the curse of a Bitter seed sown!
Beloved germane
Why do you forsake me?
Why must I bemoan
My crime of youth alone?
'Tis the youthful heart to blame
The cusp of cupid
My endless shame
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XV
FORSAKEN
Cursed be
the silence
For the doting buried deep
Ne`er to be revealed
A secret e`er to keep
Picking up pieces of heart
Along the path
And dread the wrath
Of humanity's error
Or of heaven's terror
Yea! For me 'twas cupid's quest
To quell that heart
Within my breast
But hopes are naught But froth to shatter
And the abettor loath to utter
A word of solace
To this frail heart of mine
But hush my heart do not repine
Humanity notwithstanding
Your secret hidden in loneliness to enshrine
Awaiting times Of understanding
Till then, pine away your dearth
Your bitter thorn
And behold humanity's birth
Once more to be born
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XVI
DESTINY
Sat I and
fawned one forlorn day
Searching the wisdom Of the ages
Heeding the sapience Of the sages
To make merry my soul
To Capture e'en a dream
My love to belay in substance
Or come what may
Forevermore to grasp The beloved's essence
From the radiance Of humanity's core
From those whom I adore
Who wafted upon
The winds of time unscathed
By the laughter of the mocker
Raised they the scepter Of certitude and bathed
In the elixirs Of humanity's sufferance
Yet not an utterance
Was made on their behalf
And as the mockers still scorned
My silent pains adorned
The solitude Etched on my epitaph
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XVII
ANNULMENT
When the
beloved of the ages
Could not be Embraced in element
At the crest of my torment
I turned the pages
Of time spent in solitude
To seek the beloved
On the streets Of eternal disdain
And amidst the legions Of the afflicted
Of humanity's hidden flame
I soared once again
Through solitude's ecstasy
To purge my piteous name
And expunge my grievous shame
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XVIII
APOLOGY
I fancied
to find the beloved
In those in whom it lives
And to drink deeply
From what it gives
Alas! the beloved Was found at last
But not in the right places
The enamored fantasyEtched on many faces
Yet none were mine to acquire
Yea not one to retain
And lo it's fire loath to restrain
Burned in the abyss of my heart
Tore my very being apart
Once again to rove the earth
To ponder and brood
My very birth
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XIX
PAROXYSM
Now
perceived I The silence of the depth
Echo along mine breadth
Pity me broken hearted
As the chill Of a thousand winters Gripped me
To consecrate my Sorely youth departed
And quest for wisdom Amidst the phantoms
Of memories with sorrow jaded
Can the spirit within me fathom
Youth abraded I trod thus far?
Be it callow?
Or have the wounds Of silence borne
Rendered it mellow?
Alas beloved germane
Naught is staid within me
Infant youth or youth to be
Or youth cloaked in mystery
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XX
AUTISM
Stooped I
to the tumult Of what will remain
The cusp of cupid My enigma arcane
Recondite, ah!
But cursed in nature
Hurls the ailing Of the race to wager
To calamity's edge
No wonder Humanity's aversions beget
Soreness to the innards Of those who dare
To be insane yet oft forget
Their pilgrimage of silence
The specter of their semblance
To humanity's norm
Unable to conform
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XXI
ANGST
Alas for
valor my soul to befriend
The fright of anxious Youth to end
To speak of that Which rages within me
Diffidence to forfend
Remiss to dread
The pretender of the human race
Its feigned virtue Unveil my sullied face
But nay found I valor Waxed a victim
Henceforth to silence
Remained I a pilgrim
whereas every road I trek
The beloved to beck
Grows desolation
Thenceforth mine naked heart
Fancied isolation
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XXII
VINTAGE
In yore
days of my inanity
In the endless bedlam Of my insanity
Questioned I such Forged humanity
Raven by its antics of deceit
Ravaged by its own conceit
Said I to mine heart
Must you fray?
Or be silent this very day
Bound to defeat?
The cusp of cupid
Tis now only a memory to bear
Set I the quest For silence to share
Cloyed of sensuous rankness
The dawn of solitude
The ebb of madness
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XXIII
RUE
Thus sat I
to dredge
The frailty of the human gist
To pledge my very essence Only to exist
On the edges of insanity
On the crux Of blessed quietude
And embrace the glory Of eternal solitude
Afar from humanity's intolerance For the insane
Yea! That I would constrain
The mortal desire
Ne`er to tread on the flames
Of that sordid fire
Confine the insanity within
To a whisper at last
And chant the requiem
Of the past! Never more!
Yet heard I the clatter within
Harken! For the ebb of insanity
Tantamount to the Death of humanity
Lo! The answer e`er to hover still
On the edges of sanity
The rim of solitude
The trim of vanity
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