Vice Girl's Song of Woe about silverchair Star

Vice Girl's Song of Woe about silverchair Star

This has to be one of the funniest Non-Teeny-like articles ever written. But the fact that it actually happened (the person actually did say this about Daniel) is even funnier ;)

A PROSTITUTE [note: see =) it's funny already!] has accused teenage rock star Daniel Johns of stalking her through Sydney streets and staking out her brothel. [note from me: calm down! Don't hyperventilate from all this laughter =)]

But the complaint was dismissed yesterday after police discovered the silverchair lead singer was not in the country when he was said to have stalked the woman. [one last note: Now, wouldn't you at least think to plan this out accordingly before you even accuse him???]

Paula Gai Knightly told dectectives Johns, who is mobbed by girls wherever he goes, only had eyes for her.

And she claimed the 17 year old had threatened to kill her after she rejected his advances.

Before police proved she was lying, the 26-year-old managed to get an interim apprehended violence order against the musician.

Knightly alleged Johns began following her in March, callign out "I love you Paula" and "Paula, Paula, I want to make love to you Paula."

But by late July, she said Johns had turned on her and warned: "I'm a natural born killer. I'm gonna kill you tonight and I'm gonna enjoy it."

Shortly after the allegations were made in court, police discovered Johns and his two bandmates were touring overseas.

"Mr. Johns has done absolutely nothing wrong and has nothing to account for," said a dectective last night.

Knightly, a part-time film student, had complained to a probationary constable that Johns stood outside her window from 10:30 am to 8:30 pm on July 23. [I lied: Now, we all know this isn't true. Daniel wouldn't be outside his house for that long ;)]

The next day she was granted a interim apprehended violence order and the formal application was set down for hearing.

But before the matter could procede, police withdrew it.

A detective said he did not know if Knightly was an obsessed fan, but her former boss said she had never heard Knightly menchion silverchair.

The madam of the plush Pyrmont brothel where Knightly worked for 10 months said the woman was a "reasonably reliable worker, attractive but not drop-dead glamorous."

The 169cm tall, size 10, readhead left the brothel last Monday to return to her native New Zealand. [Note: Yeah, she couldn't show her face in Australia anymore. But, before I continure, a close friend pointed out that it sorta looked like I was dissing NZ. Definitely not!!! NZ kicks!! My friends Elly and Brooke are from there. And they just rock. So I am not offending NZ at all. Sorry if it seemed that way.]

From The Daily Telegraph, Sydney, NSW, Australia on August 2nd
By: Stephen Gibbs, Court Reporter

Awww, poor baby! Let me find some more funny stuff!
Well, can't read any more news after that!

Email: sg_articles@rocketmail.com