HEAD GAMES

Chapter 17

Todd sat curled in a ball on a couch in the study at Llanfair. Although he was feeling better, he tired easily. No matter how hard he fought against sleep lately, his body succumbed to slumber all the same. Viki and Larry decided it best not to tell him that one of his prescriptions was a sleeping aid. After years of insomnia, he was finally getting some much-needed sleep.

As he dozed peacefully in the cozy room, Jessica peeked in on him. She was amazed at how young he appeared when he was completely at rest and not on his guard. She, like Kevin, had initially argued against allowing Todd back into their lives. The pain he had caused had cut too deeply. But once Viki explained how ill he was and how she had been able to forgive him, Jessica, too, had come around. Truthfully, she hated being angry with her uncle. He gave her a sense of security; she always knew he would do anything to keep her safe. And he certainly wasn’t dull. She chuckled quietly to herself at that thought.

She returned to the kitchen and the stew she was preparing for her family. Since Viki had pressing business at The Banner, Jessica had been asked to keep an eye on Todd. “I don’t need a babysitter,” he’d grumbled. But he was secretly glad not to be alone in the large mansion. It reminded him too much of his home growing up under Peter Manning’s iron fist.

She stirred the vegetables and stew meat gently. The aroma was heavenly. She hoped that Kevin and Joey would join them for supper. But she doubted that Kevin would ever sit down to a meal with Todd. The thought made her sad.

She was so lost in thought that she wasn’t paying attention; her hand bumped the side of the pot, causing a minor burn. Startled, she dropped the pot lid.

Unbeknownst to her, Todd had awakened minutes before and had groggily staggered to the kitchen to find her. He watched in horror as she burned herself on the stove. The clattering of the pot lid intensified his fear. He screamed.

“No, Daddy! Please, don’t! It burns! It burns!”

He crumpled to the floor, clutching his wrist with his hand outstretched as though it was being burned. He writhed in agony while continuing to shriek.

Jessica was frozen. She hadn’t a clue what to do. A thousand ideas flew into her head. Should she call her mother? Larry? 911? She felt completely helpless as she watched Todd reenact his abuse.

“What the hell is all this yelling about?” Joey posed as he rushed into the kitchen. He saw Todd contorted in pain on the floor and Jessica glued to the middle of the kitchen. He assumed the worst.

He immediately made his way to his sister’s side. “Jess, are you okay? What did he do to you?”

This was what she needed to snap out of her stupor. She rushed to her uncle’s side in an attempt to pull him out of his waking nightmare.

“He didn’t do anything. He’s having a flashback,” she informed Joey.

“What should we do? Call Mom?”

“No, it would take too long for her to get here. Just let me try to calm him down.”

She held him closely, rubbing his back the way her mother had done for her after a bad dream or a skinned knee.

“It’s okay, Todd. Your hand isn’t burning. Can you hear me? Todd?”

She looked over to her brother in desperation. “Help me,” she pleaded.

Joey crossed the kitchen and knelt on Todd’s other side.

“He’s shivering,” she said sympathetically.

“I’ll get a throw from the couch,” her brother volunteered. He jogged out of the kitchen and returned a few seconds later. He draped it cautiously around his uncle’s shoulders.

“He isn’t going to bite, you know,” Jessica snapped. “I need you to help me calm him down, Joey.”

He followed his sister’s lead, rubbing Todd’s back, tentatively at first, then with more compassion. Jessica continued speaking reassuringly to him.

After several intense minutes, his wails began to quiet. The siblings maintained their comforting words and reassuring touches. He leaned his head on Joey’s shoulder and within seconds was calm and tranquil.

“Um, Jess,” Joey whispered. “Is he asleep?”

“Yeah,” she answered. “Poor thing. I can’t imagine his father burning him. I mean, I’d heard Mom talk about it, but I guess I never really thought about it.”

“Well, he can’t sleep on me. What’re we going to do?” he asked in hushed panic.

Jessica merely smiled. “It won’t kill you to be nice to him for a little while. Just sit there and let him sleep. Please?” She smiled her sweetest sisterly smile at him. How could he say no to her?

“Okay,” he sighed.

Ten minutes or so had passed. Jessica tended to supper while Joey played surrogate bed for his uncle. Alone with his thoughts, he replayed the look of terror on Todd’s face over and over in his mind. There was no doubt that this was real. That was genuine fear on his uncle’s face. How could Todd’s father have done something so heinous to his own son? Even an adopted son?

Joey began seeing things in a different light. The horrible things Todd had done in the past surely, at least in part, were due to his horrendous childhood. What other terrible things had been wrought on Todd?

He was jarred from his musings as Todd began to stir. He sat upright, looking around disorientedly.

“What am I doing on the floor?” Todd questioned.

“Um.” Joey looked to Jessica for help with a panic stricken look on his face.

Jess joined them on the floor and tried to distract him.

“Are you hungry? I made stew; it’s almost ready. We just need to wait for Mom.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he replied. “But why am I on the floor?”

Jessica and Joey looked at each other, trying to think of a plausible lie. Fortunately, Viki arrived in the nick of time.

Seeing her brother on the floor, she knew immediately that he’d had another flashback. She, too, tried to make light of the situation.

“Something smells good,” she said brightly. “Stew?”

“Yeah, it’s almost done.”

“Wonderful,” Viki replied. “I’m starving. I guess we should get washed up.”

Joey and Jessica helped Todd off the floor as matter-of-factly as possible. Within minutes everyone was seated around the table as Jessica served them her stew.

They all ate a few bites and raved about how delicious the meal was. As the rest shared how their days had progressed, Todd grew quiet. Viki noticed that he was staring, motionless, as though in a trance. The others became aware, too, of his behavior.

“Todd?” Viki asked gently, placing her hand tenderly on his arm.

He snapped out of his daze.

“What?” he asked, unaware that anything had happened.

“How’s your stew?” his sister asked him.

“Good,” was the brief reply.

Dinner continued stressfully, as each of them grew increasingly aware that Todd was not well and was certainly not himself.

They heard the front door slam and footsteps clipping toward the dining room. Kevin had arrived unexpectedly. He took one look at Todd sitting in his place at the dinner table and erupted. “What the hell is going on?”

in the chair across from him. He remembered being told he had PTSD. B

HEAD GAMES

Chapter 18

“Why do I have to see a shrink?” Todd pouted. He sat on the couch in the study with his arms crossed over his chest.

Elaine sighed inwardly. She had explained to Todd numerous times why he needed her psychiatric services. He either didn’t remember or wasn’t ready to accept the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder diagnosis. She smiled gently.

“Todd, you’ve been seeing me every day for two weeks now. Do you remember us discussing your diagnosis before?”

He looked petulantly over at the plump gray-haired woman seated ut he hated the thought of being crazy.

“Yeah,” he grumbled. “I remember. I’m not stupid. I just don’t see the point of talking to you every day. I’m all talked out. I have nothing more to say.”

He looked at her defiantly, as she jotted down a couple of notes on her pad.

Curiosity got the best of him. “What are you writing?”

“I’m just scribbling some notes so I don’t forget,” she answered.

“Hmpf,” he replied. “Looks like you’re the one with the memory problem, not me.”

“It’s not easy getting older,” she shared.

“How old are you?” he asked nosily.

“I turned 57 last month.”

“Oh” was the only reply.

She continued writing, hoping her patient would speak again. He did.

“So why did you decided to become a shrink?” he queried. “You like crazy people?”

“I like people in general. And I don’t think you’re crazy, Todd,’” she said with a reassuring smile.

He rolled his eyes at her and scoffed. “Whatever.”

“I guess you could say I had a calling,” she continued. “I’ve known from a very early age what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to make a difference, and I think I have. What about you? Is there something you always wanted to do? Professionally or personally?”

Todd knew she was trying to draw more information out of him, but he decided to play along. He actually liked Elaine. Somewhat. She reminded him a bit of Viki, and he was comfortable with her. He was amazed at how much information he had actually given her.

“Yeah,” he answered softly.

She waited for him to tell her what he wanted, but no more conversation was forthcoming.

“So what is it that you always wanted?”

“It’s stupid. Nevermind.” He turned his head away.

“If it’s something you really want, then it isn’t stupid. C’mon. Spill it. I won’t tell anyone,” she assured him.

He hesitated, deciding whether or not he should trust her. There was something about her demeanor that made him feel confident that she would do just as she said. He decided to take a leap of faith.

“I always wanted to work with Viki at the Banner. See? I told you it was stupid.”

“There’s nothing stupid about wanting to be close to your sister or work in the family business. I think it’s quite admirable,” she praised.

“Really?”

“Of course. Now what steps have you taken toward making this dream a reality?”

Todd shook his head. “Oh no. It’ll never happen. I just said it would be nice to work there. I don’t think anybody would ever let me do it. Especially Kevin. He hates me.”

“You never know until you ask, do you?” she said reassuringly. “We could make an appointment to speak to Viki together about the possibility. It couldn’t hurt to ask, could it?”

“Knowing me, it probably could,” he muttered.

“Why is that” she queried.

“I don’t have a very good track record,” he said sullenly.

“Records are made to be broken,” she chirped.

“Whatever,” he grumbled.

“Great. We’ll schedule an appointment with her first thing tomorrow,” she stated, gathering her things and preparing to leave. “Who is coming in to stay with you? Viki or Jessica?”

“Viki said she’d be here after her meeting.” He looked at the clock on the mantle. “She should be here any second now.”

“I hate leaving you here all alone. Why don’t I just wait until she arrives?” She didn’t want him having a flashback while he was by himself.

“I’ll be fine. She’s probably pulling up in the driveway now. I can stay in the house by myself for two seconds without getting into trouble, you know. I don’t need a babysitter every second of every day,” he said sourly.

“I don’t mind waiting. Really.”

“You all make me feel like a baby. Or a prisoner. I thought you said I wasn’t crazy. Guess you lied,” he snapped.

Elaine thought about it for a minute. She didn’t want to damage his already low self-esteem. And she did have an evaluation across town that she needed to begin.

Reluctantly, she agreed. “Okay, I’ll go. But you have my cell phone number just in case, right?”

“Right. Now leave already.”

She smiled and headed for the door, hoping she’d made the right decision.

*****

Powell paced the recreation room, running his fingers through his hair in a Todd-like manner. His mind was racing. He knew his mental evaluation was almost complete and he would soon be returned to jail to await trial. He felt it was inevitable.

He was distracted by the sound of a nurse separating two patients who had been arguing for several minutes. Both were sent to different areas of the room. Powell hit upon an idea.

He approached the smaller man who was sitting in the corner mumbling to himself.

“I heard what that other guy was saying to you,” Powell told the older man, who looked up suspiciously. “He’s deceiving to you. I heard him tell another guy yesterday that he’s planning to kill you,” he lied.

“I knew it!” the other man exclaimed. “How did he say he was going to do it?”

“I’m not sure, but he said he would do it today. In this room. You’d better watch your back,” Powell cautioned.

“Thanks,” he whispered, his gaze traveling to the maligned patient across the room.

He rose and stalked over to the patient with whom he’d previously been arguing. Viciously, he punched the man in the head, then leapt onto his back, screaming, “You’re not gonna kill me! I’ll get you first!”

The hospital staff attempted to restrain both men but were rapidly outnumbered by the other patients joining in the fray. The situation was out of hand in just a few short minutes. The entire room was chaotic. Staff from other areas were called in to help.

In took at least 25 minutes to quiet down the room and get the patients under control. It was another five minutes after that before anyone noticed that Powell had disappeared.