(part 16 by Doorsgrl)

Jessica looked down in disbelief. She couldn't believe Todd was back and that Viki, who had been so mad at him, was walking up the stairs with him.

"Jessie," Viki said. "Todd has come back to town. He needs some time to rest so I want him to stay with us."

Todd managed a smile and a wave. Jessica faked a smile in return.

"Mom, I need to talk to you."

"Just let me get Todd settled in," Viki replied.

"How can you be so forgiving?" Jessica blurted out.

"Maybe I should go." Todd said quietly.

"Jessie, what has gotten into you?" Viki asked.

"After how he lied to all of us—“ Jessica started to say.

Todd stood there silently. His head throbbed, and he wanted nothing more than to just lie down.

"Jessica, wait for me in the kitchen. We will talk then," Viki said.

She grabbed Todd's arm and led him past Jessica. When they got to the room he was to be staying in, Todd flopped onto the bed.

"Good night, Todd," Viki said. "You'll be safe here." She shut off the light and left the room.

(to be continued)

(part 17 by RogerLuvr)

Todd lay there in the dark room; he could not get his mind to stop. He tossed and turned, thoughts of his father passed through his mind. "How did I get to this point?" he thought to himself. "What the hell happened to me? How did I become such a wimp?!"

Todd sat up, reached over and clicked on the light on the table next to the bed. He walked across the room to a mirror. He stood there, staring at the image he saw. To him, it was not Todd; it was a stranger looking back at him.

Meanwhile, downstairs Viki and Jess were sitting at the kitchen table.

"Mom, how can you be so forgiving? The man used you to stay out of prison!" Jess said in total disbelief.

"Jessica, he is my brother and your uncle, and I expect you and everyone to treat him as family".

"Yes, but Mom," Jess started.

"I know what you are going to say, Jessica. I haven't forgotten all he put me through, but he needs help, and I will not turn my back on him. He is in the middle of a huge crossroads right now. Would you turn your back on Kevin or Joey?" Viki said to her.

"I...guess not, but they haven't done the things that Todd has done. But I know you love him, and I respect that...I guess."

"Okay then, the matter is closed," Viki said getting up. She headed upstairs to check on Todd.

(part 18 by VTW)

Todd turned when he heard a soft tapping on the door. Vicki poked her head inside.

“Hey you,” she smiled. “Feel like some company?”

Todd nodded. “Yeah, that sounds great, sis.” He laughed self-depreciatingly. “Course I got a lot of people running around in my head, so I’m never really alone, ya know?”

Vicki walked over to him and laid her hand on his cheek. “Yes, I do know,” she said seriously. “But I am living proof that you can overcome this and live a full, normal life. You can, Todd,” she emphasized, when she saw his disbelieving look. “If there’s one thing I have learned about you, it’s this. You are a strong man, Todd…a true survivor. You are also a Lord, and we don’t back down from adversity. You and I have the same blood running through our veins. You are an extraordinary person, Todd. I am proud to call you brother.”

He sighed deeply. “Why do you love me so much?”

Vicki laughed quietly. “What’s not to love? You are smart, funny, handsome as the devil, and underneath all that anger you have a good soul. Look at the kind of parent you are with Starr. You are gentle and loving with her. A more responsible parent you’ll never find, Todd.”

Todd grinned though his tears. “Shorty makes it easy. She’s impossible not to love. I would die for her in a heartbeat.”

“I know you would. Because she is your heart and your soul, just like Kevin, Joey and Jessica are to me. Meagan too, “ she said sadly.

Todd cleared his throat. “Well…aren’t we being kind to each other?” He said gruffly. It didn’t go over. He was touched and it showed. His eyes shone with love.

Vicki grinned back at her brother. “So? What the hell are you going to do about you’re life, Todd? Are you just going to lay down and let life pass you by…or are you going to get up and fight?” She raised an imperious eyebrow and put her hands on her hips. “Well…? I’m waiting?”

Todd ran his fingers through his hair. The truth was, he was sick of himself and his problems. He just wanted to be…normal, whatever that meant. His sister was right. He was letting this thing get out of control and he wanted it stopped. He wanted his life back, dammit. He came to a decision.

“I wanna fight,” he breathed. “I’m going to fight. Gimme the name of a good shrink, I’m gonna get my head on straight. I want a life, I want my kid and I want the woman I love.”

Vicki laughed and cried at the same time. “Now that’s my brother talking. This is a huge first step, Todd. Admitting that you need and will accept help is the first step to taking charge of your life. And I do know someone. He’s really good and he’s close to your own age.”

“Yeah?” Todd was scared and excited at the same time. He felt as if he were poised on the edge of a precipice. He needed to trust…he needed to jump. “Who is he?”

“His name is Gary O’Connor, and he’s wonderful. He has an office downtown.”

“It’s not near the hospital is it?” He asked suspiciously. Todd paced the room restlessly. “Vicki…this is hard for me, ya know? I’m not used to leaning on other people. And I don’t want to run into anyone that I know and have them dump on me. I know I’ve made enemies in this town.” He nervously ran his fingers through his hair.

“No. It’s nowhere near the hospital, Todd. His office is across town and you don’t have to worry about running into anyone anyway. Gary will come here if it’s more comfortable for you.”

Todd raised an eyebrow. “Since when do doctors make house calls,” he laughed. “I’ve never heard of that.”

Vicki smiled. “Gary will. I told you, Todd, he is really wonderful. And if it’s more comfortable for you to be here…well then, he’ll talk to you here.”

Todd nodded his head. “Yeah…okay,” he sighed. “When can I see him?”

“How about tomorrow afternoon? I can call him right now and if his schedule ’s clear, then he’ll be here.”

Todd chewed on his lip. It’s now or never. “Make the call.”

****************************

Vicki sat outside her drawing room and paced restlessly. Todd had been in there with Gary for over an hour. She glanced at her watched for the umpteenth time. She hoped fervently that this was going to help put her brother back together again.

At first there was utter silence in the room. Then she heard Todd raging at full volume. She had almost rushed in, but she stopped herself in time. No. This is what he needs…he needs to let all the hurt and rage out.

That was about fifteen minutes ago. Now she heard low voices and wondered desperately if everything was going well.

The door opened, and Vicki sighed with relief.

Gary O’Conner strode out and smiled reassuringly at her. “Hi, everything’s okay, Vicki. Don’t worry. Todd did really well his first session. He is ready to listen…ready to accept help.”

Vicki put her hand to her mouth and choked back a sob. “Oh thank God,” she breathed. “I can’t thank you enough, Gary.” She spread her hands out. “There are no words,” she said helplessly.

He grasped her hands in his large ones. “You don’t have to thank me. I like Todd. I think we are a good match. I can help him, Vicki.”

Vicki gazed at the handsome young man before her. His appearance conveyed trust. He was about Todd’s height and weight with a long blonde ponytail and calm, ocean blue eyes. He resembled a California surfer. But one look in those sharp eyes you saw keen intelligence and confidence.

“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, Gary.”

Gary glanced at his steel watch and smiled. “I have to run back to the office, but I have another session with Todd for the day after tomorrow. I think after this next session he might be ready to come to my office.”

Vicki showed him to the door and said her good-byes. She entered the drawing room and saw Todd staring out the French door windows. He turned and smiled wanly at her. “Hey,” he said quietly.

“Hey yourself.” She walked over to him at looked into his eyes. They were clear and calm. His gaze was steady, unflinching and honest. He looked as if a thousand pounds were lifted off his shoulders. Her own eyes filled with happy tears. For the first time in a long time, she felt hope.

Todd breathed deeply. “I’m ready to talk if you’re ready to listen…”

(part 19 by Em)

Todd took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I guess you want to know what I’ve been doing with myself for the last year, huh?”

“Just tell me what you’re comfortable with, Todd. You don’t have to tell me anything, if you don’t want to,” Viki reassured.

He walked back to the French doors and gazed out, searching for the right combination of words. He desperately wanted, no, needed, his sister’s acceptance and understanding.

“When I left Llanview last year, I got on a plane to New York. I don’t know why I chose there. No, wait. That’s not really true,” he said with realization. “I guess I figured that would be a good place to lose myself. So many people there, you know?”

He began pacing slowly without being aware of it. Viki merely stood and waited patiently for him to continue. She knew this was another huge step for him.

“On the plane, I was, um, ‘visited’ by a few people. Rodd, Pete, Tom, and even Miss Perkins. Guess the joke was on me, huh?” His eyes shone with tears that threatened to overflow. “I was really scared. I wanted to come back and talk to you, but I was afraid. I knew you never wanted to see me again.”

The waiting tears spilled down his cheeks; Viki wiped away her own. She regretted not being there for him. How fearful he must have been all alone.

“I decided I had two choices: either get help or kill myself. It was a really hard decision. The only thing that kept me from offing myself was Shorty. And I’m still not so sure I chose right. I started seeing a shrink named Dr. Herring. She was okay. She taught me how to control my anger and stuff.”

He stopped pacing and looked straight into his sister’s eyes.

“She made me remember some of the stuff Peter did to me” he whispered. “I’m not so sure I’m better off knowing.”

He began crying in earnest. Viki gathered him in her arms, stroking his long hair for comfort.

“Shh. It’s going to be okay, Todd. I know how hard it is. I know. But it will get easier, I promise.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, Sweetheart. And I also promise that you will come out of this a better, stronger person than you ever thought possible.” She kissed his hair gently. “Do you want to stop here?”

“No,” he said as he wiped the salty tears from his face. “There’s more. She told me that I had to come back here and try to make things right with the people I care about. But I guess I jumped the gun. No pun intended.”

Viki laughed in spite of herself. Todd certainly hadn’t lost his biting sense of humor.

“She tried to warn me that I wasn’t ready,” he continued. “Obviously, she was right. I’m sorry about last night.”

“There’s no need to apologize. I understand. Do you want to tell me about last night?”

“Yeah. Um, I realized I had screwed up—yet again. I could see the pain in your eyes. In Tea’s face. Even on Blair’s. I didn’t want to cause anymore pain. I found myself at Asa’s cabin. Ironic, huh? I found a gun and a bottle of whisky. I was working up the courage to blow my brains out.”

Viki gasped audibly. He lowered his eyes, afraid to see her disappointment once again.

“But I couldn’t do it. I was scared. What a loser. Then, uh, it was like Peter was in the room with me, daring me to do it, to pull the trigger. I’m not really sure what happened after that. I’m not even sure how I got here.”

“It’s okay. All you need to know is that you’re safe here. You can stay as long as you want.”

“Thanks, Sis.” He was relieved to see such compassion and love in her face.

“Do you want to continue seeing Gary or would you prefer to go back to Dr. Herring?”

“No, I like Gary. I feel pretty comfortable with him. He’s kinda laid back. I’d like to stay on with him, if you don’t mind,” he asked timidly.

“Of course, I don’t mind. You can stay here and see Gary as long as you like. I love having you here. I’ve missed you terribly.”

Todd smiled with a sigh. He felt safe with Viki. And he trusted her. Well, as much as he trusted anyone.

“I got an apartment on the other side of town last week.”

Viki raised her eyebrows in surprise, as if to ask “why didn’t you stop by earlier?” But she said nothing.

“I need to go over there and pack a couple of things. Okay?”

“I can go with you, if you like,” she offered.

“Yeah, I would. Thanks.”

“Why don’t we head over there now? Then we can come back here for a late lunch,” she said as she hooked her arm through his. She was pleased that he didn’t pull away. He had never been comfortable with touch before.

“Sounds like a plan,” he said with a grin.

They headed for the front door, arm in arm, smiling. Suddenly, the door opened.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Kevin demanded angrily.

(part 20 by Doorsgrl)

Todd was taken aback by the tone in Kevin's voice. Kevin was the last person he wanted to see in Llanview.

Kevin stormed over and pulled Todd's arm away from Viki's.

"Kevin-" Viki started to say.

Kevin cut her off. He shoved Todd. Todd fell backwards but recovered and was about to hit Kevin back.

"You should've never come back Manning. You're not wanted in this town," Kevin stated.

Todd put his fists down. Kevin wasn't worth it.

Viki was angry. "Kevin, I want to speak to you in private now."

She grabbed Kevin's arm and yanked him into another room.

"Don't leave on my account, Kevy," Todd smirked.

Kevin glared at him.

"Listen up, Kevin. I am going to say this once. Todd is my brother, and I will not have you treating him that way," Viki said.

"How can you defend him after all he's done?" Kevin wondered.

"We all make mistakes, including you."

"Nothing I have done or could do could compare to what he's done. I don't want him around."

"Well, I do. He's staying and that's final."

Viki turned and left the room.

"Not if I can help it," Kevin said to himself.